Confucius once said: "Clever words are chaotic, and small words are intolerable, then chaos is big plots." ”
If a person always says some rhetoric, he will eventually corrupt his own virtue. More importantly, not being patient for the sake of small things is likely to harm yourself.
Since ancient times, we have emphasized "appropriate forbearance", and if you can't be strong, don't be strong. Excessive sharpness is the beginning of one's own harm; and proper forbearance is the wisdom of Mingzhe to protect oneself.
When we are young, we need to be patient and restrain our own sharp edges, in order not to let others target us, nor to become the target of everyone in the workplace, only to hope that we can develop silently.
In middle age, we need to be patient and try not to provoke the little people and idle things in life, so as to make life more relaxed and less interpersonal conflicts.
And when people reach old age, do we need to be "reclusive"? It can be said that the older people are, the more they need to put "hidden tolerance" in the first place.
Just like Sima Yi, even if he is sixty or seventy years old, he still adheres to the principle of "hidden forbearance" and will not change because of the death of his boss. This is a kind of vision.
In real life, those who can be stable in their later years will most likely "be patient" in these matters and not cause trouble.
01
People who are stable in their later years will be "half shrewd and half confused" to be people.
The older people are, the more they will understand the power of the "middle way." Be impartial, do things according to the rules, do not go to any extremes at all, and slowly you will get mixed up.
For the elderly, if we want to take the middle way, the key is to achieve the six words of "half shrewd, half confused". Especially "semi-confused", that is more of a kind of wisdom for treating people and things.
The concept of the son and the concept of the parents have clashed, and the two sides have some "you fight and fight" behavior trends. In the end, parents and children can't even do "relatives"?
People of the same age still have the problem of conflicting ideas and concepts, so why talk about people of different ages?
When we are with our children, we cannot rely on the old and sell the old, and arbitrarily ask our children to "keep pace" with us, which is impossible to do.
One eye open, one eye closed. What children think and how they live their lives is their business, as long as they themselves are happy and live a tasteful life, isn't it enough?
Being confused in small things is a necessary "hidden tolerance". Shrewdness in matters of great things is the wisdom to distinguish between the important and the important.
02
People who are stable in their later years will try to avoid "right and wrong contradictions".
Mr. Jin Yong said that the heavens and the earth are rivers and lakes, and the people of the world are smart and confused. Vanity Fair is full of storms, and winning turns out to be losing.
This vast heaven and earth is a river and lake. The world is always fighting for unnecessary things, and in the end everyone is a loser, and no one is a winner.
In short, people are floating in the rivers and lakes, if they do not know how to protect themselves, then we will provoke different contradictions between right and wrong. The same is true in later years.
When dealing with relatives and friends, we will always argue with them for the sake of face, and we don't know how to be patient. At the end of the day, our relationships with others will be particularly bad.
When dealing with children's families, we will always argue with them for some small things, and we don't know how to give in. In the end, we will only get farther and farther away from our families.
When people are old, they should not have the posture of "I am the elder and I have the final say".
To make friends with our children's families, we must treat them as friends of equal status, think more from each other's point of view, and be more considerate of their difficulties. In this way, won't our old age be more stable and less contentious?
Don't always provoke contradictions between right and wrong, calm your mind, and be frank, that is the wisdom we should have.
03
People who are stable in their later years will not take care of "idle things" that have nothing to do with themselves.
The highest level of forbearance in the old age of people is still "ignoring idle people and ignoring idle things."
Passers-by who have a normal relationship with us and have not interacted with each other for many years, we just need to keep our distance from them. What is the affection, what is the same, do not want.
You must know that human feelings and human energy are ultimately limited. At this time, we have to leave the thin side to outsiders, and the warmest side to the family. This is the right way.
In addition, in some unnecessary idle things, we must not interfere, nor do we watch the hilarity. Don't care about yourself, hang high, then you can do it.
There is an old uncle in the village, who always likes to manage the idle affairs of his daughter-in-law, and finally he is hated by his son's family, which is both thankless and not worth the loss, which is not necessary at all.
As long as it doesn't involve us, then we don't have to worry too much, even if it's related to our children. Pretending not to know, appropriate tolerance, can make the family harmonious and united.
The so-called "not stupid, not deaf, not a family" is this truth.
Write to the end
When people are old, why do they have to learn to "be patient"?
As the saying goes: "Do things with your arms out, and be a man with your tail between your legs." ”
When we are young, we can be bold in doing things, because "doing things" emphasizes efficiency and is also vigorous. In the later years, we need to clip our tails and be low-key and patient, because "life" emphasizes calm and stability.
If you can't bear it, everything will happen. Hidden patience, will cross all kinds of disasters.
In the old age, be a shrewd and long-term person, step by step for the camp "laugh" to the end. That is the winner in life.
Wen/Shushan has deer