One
(Author: Fang Lian) A few days ago, Teacher Zhao Zhiguo's article "Chronicle of Chengguan Middle School" went viral in the WeChat circle of friends, the brushstrokes in the text were delicate and touching, and the literary and artistic atmosphere that I was once familiar with jumped on the paper. Among them, there is a paragraph that mentions me:
Those young students who love literature are watered by the spring water of literature in their hearts, and some wildflowers of literature are opened all over the world, and the spring is vigorous and swaying with the wind. In this group of students, counting the past with their fingers, Zhang Lu, Shou Mingyu, Fang Lian, etc. are all fanatical followers of poetry, often coming to my dilapidated dormitory to discuss poetry and dreaming of being a poet. Now Zhang Lujian has no news, Fang Lian has become a lawyer, only Ming Yu, there is still poetry blood in his bones, raising horses to shoot arrows to play photography, and there is actually a small braid on the top of his head, which is very different in the eyes of others.
Zhuji Taiping Bridge
Because of this text, many friends came to greet me as a "fanatical follower of poetry" for several consecutive days, and many friends were also spreading this article of Teacher Zhao, and the image of Fang Lian as a literary youth who loved poetry was deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. I can't help but feel a little ashamed, over the years, Fang Lian only has the immediate scruples, the poem has been far away, living up to Teacher Zhao's wrong love.
Walking into Teacher Zhao's article, I seemed to have walked into the courtyard in the South Gate Chengguan Middle School that year, and the creak of the wooden staircase leading to the teacher's dormitory on the second floor sounded in my ears. At that time, I was indeed a "young student who loved literature", but I didn't know why, there was a natural rejection of modern poetry in various genres, to participate in Teacher Zhao's poetry lectures, first out of personal admiration for Teacher Zhao, and second, several hardcore brothers went, I did not go to lose morality, after participating, on May 29, I wrote a weekly note "About Obscure Poems", and recorded a number of mental processes:
"Mr. Zhao in the poetry lecture seems to be an authentic modernist poet, and his admiration for obscure poetry is no less obsessed than a true football fan's worship of Pele or Maradona. Under the infection of his strong magnetic waves, I, a conservative, can't help but start to turn, coupled with the recent reading of a few obscure poems, smacking does have some taste... Before, I hated obscure poetry and thought it was some inexplicable thing... It's not easy for me to admit it now, but I did it anyway and started to like it. ”
The literary journal "Bluebells" mentioned in Mr. Zhao's article, I was not impressed, and may be the masterpiece of another group of his students. At that time, Zhang Lu was the editor-in-chief, Ming Yu was the artist, and the poem "Sun Stone" was published, and I still had a thin mimeograph copy, hand-engraved on wax paper, which contained more than a dozen students' poems, very naïve, like a group of baby teeth and teeth, but also reflected the vigorous growth of small life. I'm one of those babies too.
But I never went further on the road of poetry, after leaving school, and Teacher Zhao did not have more opportunities to communicate and consult with Him, in the years that followed, I would occasionally catch a glimpse of Teacher Zhao riding a wolf motorcycle on the street, this motorcycle was definitely a rarity at the time, another rarity was later Teacher Zhao to work at the TV station, once because of the work relationship I and another colleague went to his office to visit, he happily introduced us to the new American BOSS computer stereo, boom, It made us feel good. Later, there were also meetings at several meetings, but at that time, Teacher Zhao had already been promoted to a member of the Propaganda Department, and it was not suitable to talk about the friendship between teachers and students. Therefore, I was quite touched that Teacher Zhao was able to mention me, a disciple with little contact, in the article.
Teacher Zhao mentioned in the article of his literary circle, at that time I had heard, but as a disciple, can only admire outside the circle, of which Zhou Yiqi, Zhao Shuyan, Shou Jincao are acquainted after work, Tao Ye and Bitao two should be poets, two of them do not know which one has opened a bookstore under the old railway station on Renmin Road and the Binjiang Road Power Building, picking up books in his family's bookstore is a very beautiful happy time, but unfortunately, that kind of bookstore with a strong humanistic atmosphere has long become a masterpiece in Zhuji. At present, only the new youth bookstore in Shaoxing and the Xiaofeng Bookstore in Hangzhou still have remnants. Later, I didn't know which of the two died young, although I never knew each other, I didn't know why, and I was inexplicably sad for a while.
Two
The teachers mentioned in Mr. Zhao's article should be in the middle school, because I was a high school student at the time, so there was no impression, but Zhao Xiegang seemed to have been admitted to the graduate school of the Department of Politics at that time, and his popularity was quite high, and we students all paid attention to it. After he entered politics, he was the head of the Propaganda Department, and at that time I was working at Zhuji Daily, and one year I had a year-end conference in the newspaper printing plant, and after the meeting, I went to toast with my colleagues, and he said to me: "Fang Lian, you have less articles now," and then pointed to his eyes, "I have been reading, you have to write more, write well." Soon after, the Propaganda Department was going to add more personnel, and he also asked me to come to his office for negotiations. Later, he went to Shaoxing Daily as the president, and they never intersected again. The deepest impression that Zhao Xiegang left on me was that his speech at the conference was very fluent, there would not be even a single tone of voice, thinking clearly and expressing it cleanly, as if an article was swept away in one stroke, and the tone was clear, which was unique among all the officials I had contacted. His selfless appreciation and promotion of backwardness also made me admire.
In the three years of high school, the teacher who was most closely related to me was Xu Xingmiao, who was both my Chinese teacher and the class teacher, who not only guided me to study diligently at the language level, but also taught me to cut off evil and cultivate good on the road of growth. That age is the stereotyped stage of a person's knowledge and literacy, and it is a blessing to meet a good teacher.
As Teacher Zhao said in the text, "At that time, the teachers really devoted themselves to teaching and had no distractions. With classes, remodeling, extracurricular tutoring, no labor fees, consumption cards, souvenirs, parents do not ask to wash feet, wash hair, take a sauna, some are the teacher's sense of responsibility for teaching." In order to write this text, I found the 8 weeks of high school, which was densely packed with Teacher Xu's red pen annotations. For example, at the end of the aforementioned "About Obscure Poems", in response to the form and theme of the obscure poems that I was confused about, Teacher Xu wrote:
Obscure poetry as a school of poetry, we should admit. But hazy is not bitter and difficult to understand, literary works are for readers to see, is used to educate people, such as hazy even feel confused, not real literary creation, and into the most taboo dead end of creation. "Write my mouth" is the principle that literary creation must follow, that is, the authenticity of literature, the content of the work needs to be true, and there must be self-emotional expression. It is good to be exposed to more literary genres, but it is necessary to avoid consistency of effort and should be good at it.
Looking at my weekly notes at that time, it was completely the nonsense of a child who did not know the height of the sky, but behind most of my weekly notes, Teacher Xu did not tire of writing various annotations, and was not tired of the childish writing and arrogant views of my words. I really don't know if there are any Chinese teachers in the school who are as dedicated as he is, and if so, I am really glad that the children who have the privilege of being his students are happy. Although I was able to write splendid articles as an adult, although I could not do without my talent and diligence, but if I left a teacher's careful teaching and patient encouragement for three years, I might not be able to choose the good and be stubborn, and persist in three years of writing cultivation, thus laying a solid foundation for improving my word processing ability.
After leaving Chengguan Middle School, Mr. Xu once taught at Zhuji Normal School, and then worked at a university in Hangzhou, so that he had few opportunities to meet every year, but the teachings of the past three years have always taken root in my heart. The so-called teacher is unforgettable, and this is also said to be unforgettable. It is quite gratifying that every encounter with Teacher Xu has seen the students grow old, and Teacher Xu's countenance is just like the youthful appearance of that year, and the pig-killing knife of the years has not been hidden by him, and the heavy drink has not changed, a thousand cups are not drunk, and it is really envious of the students.
Three
I often ridicule that under the system design of test-taking education, the current school has long been alienated into a production-oriented enterprise, and the memory stick of knowledge has been transported under the assembly line of the sea of questions and tactics, and there are very few people with independent speculation ability and unique innovation ability. We were not like this at that time, although the teachers at that time also paid close attention to academic achievements, but the evaluation and cultivation of students was not only academic achievement, but really reflected the inclusiveness and teaching according to their aptitudes. The atmosphere of the whole campus is also different from now, just speaking of poetry and literary publications, there are "Bluebells" that I don't know, there is "Sun Stone" that I know, in order to improve students' interest in writing, Teacher Xu also organized the writing seedlings in the two classes he taught, and established a literary club, called "New Wave". Such a surging student literary group, allowing a bunch of little farts to toss and turn, is an unimaginable scene in today's schools.
That era can be described as a "big era", all kinds of social trends of thought are agitated, all kinds of talents and talents are high-minded and full of spirit, the words and words at that time are not afraid of nonsense, the creation at that time is not taboo, the whole society is soaring and vigorous, and I, like many of my peers, also look forward to my future life with high self-standards, and I am excited by some ideas, slogans and grand narratives.
I don't remember why, I met a young man who worked in a pharmaceutical company or a food company, and his surname was Ge, and his name seemed to be Shao Ning, who should also be a lover of poetry, and he was preparing to run a poetry journal with the title "Far Away". The first time we met in his humble dormitory on Renmin Road, he and I had a long talk about literature, about the current situation, about society and nationality, about ideals and beliefs, about the positioning and direction of "far away", I was full of reverence and seemed to understand the non-understanding after listening, walking on the way home, the late night sky dome seemed to be burning a raging fire, and I felt that I was the charcoal burners who were running in the mountains of southern Italy, and I was participating in the creation of an underground revolutionary publication. But the beautiful vision had just begun, suddenly came to an abrupt end, the young man lost contact, and later heard that something was wrong, and there was no news from then on, perhaps he had gone to a distant place, just like Zhang Lu, who was once so close and intimate, and the world evaporated. Nowadays, when I look at Mars in the middle of the night, I always think of you.
Today, the impetuous big picture determines that I no longer examine my heart so deeply, no longer so devoted to cutting into reality, and I am also led by fashion, floating in the storms of the consumerist era, like a walking corpse, starring in a farce of drunken dreams and death on the stage of the collapse of the liturgy.
The times have been two heavens of ice and fire. Fortunately, I have never forgotten that era, when the wind was strong and the ambition was fierce.
Four
In that era, there was a blood destined to surging and I also heard that Teacher Zhao had a feat of shooting a case, although it was never confirmed, but I was willing to believe it. To this day, if I still have some feelings of family and country left in me, then Teacher Zhao should be one of the first enlighteners. I am very fortunate that I passed through that big era, and I had to meet good teachers and friends, temper my thinking, and let me form the original beliefs and values of life when I was a teenager, and after decades of upheaval and displacement, I still did not change my original intention and shone brightly. Of course, at the level of core values, I will continue to make progress, and the simple feelings of home and country are gradually giving way to universal ethics in the context of globalization, so at the strategic and technical level, I will continue to adjust, such as when authoritarianism is in power, to strive to be a citizen, narrow nationalism began to rage, to strive to be a global citizen. I also know that I can't take on any responsibility, I can't create any achievements, and what I want to do is nothing more than eight words: don't forget your original intention, you have to be consistent.
In the many years I have left the school, I have never stopped learning from myself, and continuous reading and thinking have become the joy of my life, helping me to understand the world and myself more accurately. Whenever I see that many people are still using the political and history textbooks of junior high school and high school to guide their lives, and make breathtaking value judgments about various things, I can't help but sigh. It is true that the wind and sand are covered by the sun and the forbidden areas are everywhere, but as long as they are not lazy enough and stupid enough, anyone has a way to open the window to the real history and the free world. Once a considerable amount of knowledge information and thinking methods are stored, everyone's life can be hung at any time, and if you finish reading a few textbooks and freeze there, unfortunately, such a life is already hung up in junior high school, in high school, and at most in college.
In addition to the reserve of ideas, it is impossible not to mention the reserve of ability. Many people enter the system, just as Teacher Zhao said, "embarked on a road that has never been thought of", on this road, personality is castrated, conscience is damaged, talent is stifled, innovation is blocked, and it is inevitable that people are unwilling and sigh. Today, I am glad to see that more and more people are advocating the ability to leave the system at any time, and this concept is in line with a sentence that I have been believing in since I was a teenager, which is what the monk Guan Xiu said: "It is difficult to add states, poetry is difficult to change, but idle clouds are lonely cranes, and the sky is not flying." Further, I think the word system may as well be expanded, units, groups, cities and even countries, all are indispensable, when the ability of Sun Xinger to enter the heavens and the earth, the ability to advance and retreat freely has become the standard of life, you can quickly do your own will, and play with it vividly.
These words are my self-perception, if you do not approve, it does not matter, "you must know that jagged and polymorphic, is the source of happiness", countless heads at the same time carry out different independent thinking, such a pluralistic society is what I am more willing to see.
Five
As Chen Zhongzhong, who has just left this world, said: There are many things in the world, although they can be seen clearly, they cannot be said. In my reading horizon, many writers have selectively lost their memory, concealed more important chronicles, and the magnificent era has become a small era of Guo Jingming. Although I deplore the failure of the fierce years of passionate youth, I respect the writing choices of every writer, just as I respect everyone's life choices. I can understand that because of the form of the grid, I cannot do it myself to know everything and say everything. Just like this text, the floating light is glimpsed, and the point is reached.
These days, reading Teacher Zhao's articles, many dusty past events from more than 20 years ago are spread out in my mind, and my ears unconsciously always echo the "sea and sky" of beyond the band Beyond: forgive me for loving freedom uninhibitedly in this life, and I am afraid that one day I will fall and abandon my ideals.
Beyond was eventually disbanded, and Huang Jiaju sang alone in the sky for the glorious years, and I will continue to be spontaneous and alone in the pursuit of my own literary interests. "Once upon a time, Willow Yiyi." Now I come to think, rain and snow." Between the comings and goings, since I had arranged the beginning, I had already guessed the ending.
Fang Lian himself
(Author: Fang Lian, a native of Zhuji, Zhejiang, worked for a local newspaper in the late 1990s as a journalist, passed the national judicial qualification examination in 2002, began to practice as a lawyer, and then established his own portal and founded Zhejiang Yuebai Law Firm.) ）