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The family has a difficult scripture, as a novice mother, female stars will also encounter various parenting problems. No, Zhu Dan, who was promoted to a second-child mother, did not know how to do a good job of "a bowl of water and leveling" when facing two children.
Zhu Dan shared the daily resonance of the second child
Zhu Dan solicited from netizens "how to study Duanshui for second-born families", which triggered heated discussion among netizens. The thing is, the eldest daughter of the family, 4 years old, has been sleeping with Zhu Dan, while the younger brother who is more than 1 year old is taken care of by his aunt.
Every morning the younger brother will come to wake up the mother and sister, but the way to wake up is not very friendly, the little guy will pull the sister's hair every time, once really pulled down a few hairs, not to mention the children, even adults will be very painful.
If it is okay to just pull the hair, the naughty brother often pinches the sister, which is not a small harm to a 4-year-old child, because of the frequent, Zhu Dan as a mother sighed: "The younger brother always pinches the sister, I am quite distressed about her."
What makes Zhu Dan most sad is that her daughter told herself "Mom, you really should educate your brother", which made Zhu Dan, a mother, begin to reflect, when the mother of the second child is more difficult than the host, how to carry water, in order to balance between the two children?
A bowl of water is uneven, which is a mistake that many parents of second-born children will make
In fact, many people do not understand, the same is their own children, why would they be biased? Regardless of the influence of patriarchal thinking, parents are not saints, and the mentality of facing children is the same as that of facing other things.
For example, two goods of the same price, of course, more inclined to choose the color like the one; the same is their own children, will also be because of various factors and prefer cute, sensible, or more like their own child.
The national goddess Mei Ting is also already a mother of two children, in a show, when the daughter "quickly" replied "don't like her brother", as a mother, Mei Ting did not reflect on whether she did not do it unqualified, but raised a warning to her daughter.
When her daughter wanted to get close to her brother, Mei Ting immediately hugged her son to comfort her, and muttered "scared to death mother" in her mouth. In fact, she just wanted to play with her brother, but her mother was angry about her daughter's dislike of her brother and was too anxious to protect her son.
What netizens can't accept the most is that Mei Ting picked up her son for a moment and stared at her daughter viciously with those big eyes, and that look seemed to bring us back to the shadow of "Don't Talk to Strangers".
Maybe Mei Ting's eyes had no other meaning, but even outsiders were frightened by her eyes, and you can imagine how deep a shadow her daughter would leave in her heart.
The parents' attitude towards the two children directly affects the relationship between the two children, perhaps Mei Ting tries not to "protect" the son so much, let the sisters and brothers get along with each other, maybe the daughter will also like the younger brother; the more Mei Ting is biased, the more it will aggravate the daughter's dissatisfaction with her brother.
How to balance the relationship between two children?
In "Mother is Superman", Mayashu accompanied her son for a while, which caused her daughter to be dissatisfied, and she reached out to push her brother and hit her mother with her hand, mayashu quickly punished her daughter for standing on the wall, but soon her heart softened because of her daughter's grievances.
In the whole process, Mayashu did not understand the reason why her daughter pushed her brother to beat her mother, nor did she feel that she had neglected her daughter, and at the same time she fell into the trap of her daughter's "crying child has milk to eat", not only did not serve the water, but also created a series of parenting problems.
In the same episode, Hu Ke, who also has two children, did a good job of "carrying water". Carefully analyze Hu Ke's "water carrying skills", in fact, it is not difficult, do not coddle, but treat it rationally.
One: Do not be biased when encountering problems, and intervene selectively
In the show, Angie will show jealousy with her younger brother Xiaoyu from time to time, and even her brother has to fight for a photo of Angie. And Hu Ke did not criticize Anji for this, but instead observed Anji's emotions and gave him a step from time to time, and as a result, it did not take a while of kung fu, and the brothers forgot to fight for the wind and jealousy while playing by themselves.
Parents always like to look at children's problems from the perspective of adults, in fact, many times the problems between children are best left to them to solve, the more parents intervene, the more unbalanced the child.
Two: Give the boss a little authority appropriately
Parents often ask for slightly older children with the robber logic of "you are the boss and you want to let your younger siblings", which will only cause dissatisfaction among the children.
It is better to try to give the boss some rights, such as you are a big brother, to set an example for the younger brother, and to use the sacrifices that need to be made by the boss as a right to exercise.
Hu Ke will consciously let Anji take care of his younger brother and set an example for his younger brother, and in the process, Anji will gain more.
Three: Let your children understand that brothers and sisters are the people closest to them
Many families have a second child in order to let the two children accompany each other, and this original intention should also be told to the two children.
Hu Ke often told Angie that in addition to his parents, only if Xiaoyu'er could grow up with him, they should trust and love each other more. This not only balances the relationship between the two children, but also promotes their feelings.
The palms of the hands and the backs of the hands are all meat, the same is their own children, parents are just difficult to deal with the problem rationally at the moment of occurrence, but afterwards to calm down to summarize and reflect, do not let their own inadvertent destruction of the feelings between children.
【Today's Interaction】
What do you think a second-child family should do to "level the bowl of water"?