The worried mood of the mother of the child can always be felt in every parting.
When we see our parents grow old, when we become parents, do you feel a kind of role reversal? Parents grew up with us, to gradually need our care and companionship:
@morning experience the concern in the separation again and again, and see the deep love of your parents for you in the eyes of your children.
@Beck I called home when I went to college, and I called home after work. The subtle transformation actually implies that he knows that his parents are old, in fact, the most worrying thing is the body.
@Three Six_One Pick-up Decided on a big family event, the roles were reversed; chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea, but also have to serve the mother.
When the 80s and 90s gradually enter middle age, the pension of parents is no longer a distant topic.
On the one hand, we are unwilling to stay in our isolated and backward hometown and run to the bustling metropolis full of hope; on the other hand, we are more and more worried about our parents' mixed tastes when we are far away from home.
"Difficult to accompany and care,
It was the knot in my heart when I faced my parents. ”
@aaron
My biggest fear has happened, and it's far more serious than I'm worried about.
In the Spring Festival of 2020, my mother was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer, and the doctor said that the survival period was not more than 3 months. Having lived in Beijing for 15 years, I stayed at home and took care of my mother with my father.
In December last year, she had a tumor ablation surgery, since then bedridden, continuous high fever for more than a week, non-stop vomiting, extremely weak, can only rely on infusion to supplement nutrition every day, doctors once worried that she could not survive the New Year, but with everyone's encouragement, under her own strong will, under the careful care of my father day and night, she survived the most difficult moments.
Now, she is still weak, can only drink a little porridge a day, but the frequency of vomiting is slightly reduced, and she can occasionally get up and sit for a while. In fact, when the temperature warms up, she will recover faster, but God seems to be deliberately opposed, and it has been raining for 2 consecutive months. We fed her something every two hours, day and night, waiting for spring to blossom.
My mother's illness was like a sharp blade that cut off my life with Beijing. During the 2 years of staying at home, I want to encourage her to have confidence, to keep abreast of lung cancer-related information, to buy medicine regularly, to work to maintain her income, to think about other ways to make money, and occasionally to take care of her living and eating, sometimes feeling physically and mentally exhausted.
I lost a lot of personal time and space, but I also got some of the most precious experiences in my life, such as opening my heart to talk to my mother, accompanying her to relax, listening to her talk about her past life, and maintaining more contact with my family and relatives...
After experiencing the clear time and shade of the four seasons, I understand the suffering of the world. This period of suffering is a precipitate of my life.
"The world of parents is very small,
It's all us. ”
@ A roe deer
In the small town that the whole family has held on to for generations, my parents have a stable job and a familiar circle of life, and they have never left the small northern city except once when they sent me to school 12 years ago.
And I, in the ten years since I left home, from 2012 to 2022, reading and working have become farther and farther away from home, from the endless plains to the hilly southern Guangdong, home has become a place that can never go back.
I didn't go home this Spring Festival, and in order for my parents to be less worried, video calls became a daily homework. I knew that my mother was worried about my difficulties in Guangdong alone, so I wrote down the phones of my friends and colleagues around me and left a copy at home. The address book also became a consolation for them.
@Good_BaoBao
When I came home late from school when I was a child, I would see my mother standing at the door waiting for me to come home. Growing up I left home to work and live in other cities. Because of the epidemic, I haven't spent the New Year with my mother for two years. This year is approaching the Spring Festival, the epidemic in Hangzhou is serious again, fortunately I went back to my mother's house early for the New Year, and my mother and I stood on the balcony looking out the window. She pointed to the northeast and told me: "Every time I am upset, I stand on the window sill and look in the direction of the train station, thinking that you will be home one day." She missed me so much that I just knew.
"Hopefully I can be
A qualified adult"
@Meishan Jun
When I was young, I always felt that "infinite inclusive love" did not exist, but after going around for so many years, I suddenly found that it was in my parents.
Mom and Dad always have an infinite cycle between "willing" and "reluctant", spending on me, they are willing, but spending money for themselves, they are always reluctant, I am alone outside, they always tell me not to eat takeaway, forward to me a variety of flowery and green middle-aged and elderly style health articles, and what I am most worried about is that they are not eating well at home.
Because I know, they still believe in "green vegetables and tofu to keep safe", rented a vegetable field next to the community to grow vegetables, they don't buy vegetables much, every time I go home and see them, as long as the vegetables are still fresh, I know that they are still working hard and tired.
Moreover, they came from that era of scarcity, and they were not willing to waste food, and they insisted on eating when things were broken. Just like the dumplings stuffed in the New Year this year are sour, the fried tofu is moldy and want to eat, I secretly threw it away and was scolded.
I know they are reluctant and that as children we have to learn to think a little more about them. When adults are like this, I have to think a little more about everything I do, and I hope that I can become a qualified adult.
@BLA
Every time I go back and see my parents, I'm a little older than the last time. When I was a child, my health was very poor, and I always felt that they would not get sick as adults, and now that I have grown up, I am less sick, but they have high blood pressure and fatty liver lumbar herniation every three or five minutes. It's good to go back to when I was a kid, I'm in charge of getting sick, they're in charge of raising the family, and it's not fun to be an adult at all.
@Lynx
This time I went to Yunnan to play with my mother. Mom because not adapted to the high altitude, there is a lot of increase in blood pressure, called 120 to the hospital to oxygen plus observation, that night I have been in the hospital with my mother, the next day she got better after we immediately left the high altitude area. In fact, I was also very tired that day, and I didn't eat until ten o'clock, but my belief was that as long as I had a breath, I would take care of my mother without reservation, just like my mother has always taken care of me. This trip allowed me to find a new mission and meaning in my next life, that is, to do my best to take care of my elderly parents and fathers.
"When,
Parents want too
Look at our faces."
@Asahi
When I came home early from work today, I smelled a fishy smell as soon as I got out of the elevator, and I saw that the door of the house was open, the window was open, and my dad was wiping the kitchen at home. Although I wiped it several times, but the smell was still very large, he whispered while drying, my mother carefully washed the hand towel, the two old people knew that I was "a lot", the nose was sensitive, and everywhere they hated the dirty smell. When I entered the house, I was still very disgusted, why did I fry so many fish with fish, why did it taste so heavy, and open the door...
At this time, I found that there was still a pool of stains on the doorstep of my house, and when I asked, it was our family who made it. My gas was even bigger, I turned on the smoke extractor to the maximum, picked up the rag to wipe the kitchen wall, stove, and smoke machine hard, complaining about why I got this broken fish, why the whole corridor with the door open was smelling, it must be that the rag was not washed to make the kitchen smell everywhere.
My dad explained that he had wiped it three times, and that the fish was sent by relatives and should not be fried, and they didn't want to do so much, they had been doing it for more than an hour, afraid that I would taste great and do it at this time, I didn't expect me to come back so early. I ignored it and continued to clean the kitchen, and then silently cleaned up the stains on the door. I didn't see what the two of them were doing, but I guess they were sitting quietly on the couch, and the house was very quiet.
After cleaning up and throwing away the garbage, on the way I was thinking, I left work early is not to accompany my parents, why do I stimulate them in this way, with their own pickiness to respond to my parents' kindness to me, they are more than sixty, I still ask them.
After I got home, I washed the fruit, my parents didn't bother with me, and things seemed to have passed like this...
What's wrong with me, I regret it, in my thirties, there is still no growth in temperament, sensitive and immature, fragile and not free, I ask myself, and ask others to do some so-called right things. I want to love life and give back to the people who love me.
"That's the moment.
I found out dad was old too."
@Concomlove183
I bought a ticket to return to Shenzhen on the sixth day of the first year, and my parents said that they just didn't have a job this year and could stay at home for a few more days. I shook my head silently. When I went out, my father set off a string of firecrackers, and I laughed and said: Is it to wish me a fortune this year? He said, yes, yes. Braving the drizzle, he helped me carry what my mother had packed for me, took me to the side of the road to take a car, and waited with me until the car came.
In fact, my parents gave birth to me very young, and for a long time after graduation, I didn't have to worry about them at all. They look so young and capable. After staying together for 10 days during the Spring Festival, I gradually felt that they seemed to be slowly unable to do it: after cooking a meal, my father had to rest for a long time, and I didn't sleep very well at night; my mother would tell me to buy "a comb of black", saying that I could buy 2 more, and she and my father needed to use it; I didn't want to talk anymore, or I would mention that I would find a boyfriend as soon as possible, saying that they were gone, and what should I do later. A lot of moments like this, I suddenly get a little scared.
Mom and Dad have always tried to give us peace of mind, which is where we can't rest assured, worried that they have resisted too much silently.
@ Hum Back to Shanghai that day it snowed, Dad was afraid that my suitcase would get dirty and kept carrying it in the air, walking behind him and finding him much older. After I left, he was left alone at home.
"The so-called parents and children,
It's about keeping watching
His back drifted away. ”
@Azura Zhang Xiaotong
A friend of mine, May, who has been plagued by depression for many years, chose to end her life last May. Her parents were scientists who had contributed to the country, and she was the only child.
When I first lost my child, the two old people did not sleep all day and all night, and at that time, my ex had just lost his father, and I dare not say how much I could understand their pain, but I personally felt that the grief could not be comforted.
At that time, I went to accompany the two elderly people every day after work until I came home at four o'clock in the morning. Later, they got better little by little, and accompanied the two old men to buy a cemetery for Mei, and when they went to buy the cemetery, they also bought it for themselves, right next to the child. At that time, it was really broken, and life was too impermanent.
Last November finally gave Mei a burial, they have no relatives, just my boyfriend and I accompanied them to go, after the burial, uncle's sentence "Daddy came to see you", really can't say...
Now I go to their house every week, eat and talk. One day I didn't bring my phone, they called me I didn't get it, and I called a lot (because I went to their house late the day before and they were worried about my accident). We are not family, my parents are still young, but they have become my family. Parents are old, May, I love them well for you.
In order to pursue better development, our generation has become accustomed to working in a foreign country, and parents who stay in their hometown are also accustomed to being separated from their children. What is sacrificed is the companionship and love between relatives.
And for the children, they are not without worry or even guilt:
@Avocado Planet Dameng "Every time I buy something, I am reluctant to eat it, and finally put it to expiration, afraid of waste and eating." Away from home, I am most worried about my parents. ”
@Weigongcun well-known hot girl "I was very worried that they wouldn't tell me when they were sick, and when they were almost well, they lightly said that they were uncomfortable here and there before."
@Beitou Xiaobeiqi "I am the last to know anything in the family, and my mother always does not tell me."
@Zhao Zhiyong "No home, all in the same city." The same feels like they need to be taken care of more and more. ”
@Meet Ernos "I don't want to spend money and don't want my children to worry, I always grit my teeth and endure..."
In the ordinary days, we also understand the meaning of companionship more and more:
@ Yuan Rugu A person is far away from home, the father is gone, leaving the mother alone, she is worried that I will not eat well, I am worried that she will not eat well. I don't know what day it felt like a moment, I grew up, but she became "very small". I love her as much as she loves me.
@ Temple, my parents came to my city, always got up very early, and even took me up very early. Sometimes the two of us would get dressed together, step to the small food shop in front of the house, ask for a cage of buns, and slowly swallow it, and Beijing suddenly became a small town in southern China in the wooden heart poem "the long street is dark and pedestrianless, and the small shop selling soy milk is steaming". My parents went back to their hometown, I still woke up very early every day, thinking about going to that small restaurant to eat breakfast, but suddenly realized that a person can't call a drawer of buns, and Beijing has returned to its real body.
There is such a scene in the movie "Tokyo Story". When I first arrived in Tokyo, my mother said, "It turns out that Tokyo is so close." When she decided to leave Tokyo, my mother said, "Tokyo is really too far away." ”
I don't know if you have found that no matter what your choices are, your parents always tell you the most appropriate words.
In fact, "children may not love their parents, they believe that they love, but in the washing of daily life, let that feeling gradually disappear." "Our world is big, but don't neglect Mom and Dad either. May they feel the warmth of old age for the rest of their lives.