"At that time, people saw and boasted of 'small town as a problemmaker', but now it has become an obscure waste," Xiao Li shook his head and turned off the work WeChat group chat.
Just replied 👍 to the copywriter of the colleague's overtime work on the weekend, "I can't move, I admit it, more labor can only be sick." I just want to honestly get my basic salary. ”
Xiao Li just worked hard for the first two years, until he found out that he had gastritis during a physical examination.
Since then, his book list has changed from a must-read and skill-upgrading series for professionals to a meditation and lifestyle book.
"The progress of society depends on a small number of people, and most people are 'waste', but some people admit it, and some people forcibly deny it."
After confirming the identity of the waste, Xiao Li gave himself a new position - the Sunday seeker, not collapsing but getting up, to be a waste that can be idle to the greatest extent.
Are people who call themselves "waste" really waste?
The "985 Waste Introduction Program" group was hotly discussed last year, "How can young people not work hard?" Why are you willing to do waste? ”
Such chicken-blooded attacks are no longer mainstream rhetoric, and people are thinking about how to live better, refusing to preach and hypocritical experiences.
One hundred thousand Kochi "waste" is actually a kind of resistance.
Those who "unfortunately become waste" in the process of growing up often have to compromise for both active and passive reasons.
The passive reasons are mostly because in the process of learning and working, the environment is suppressed, the competition is fierce, and they have to give up some more ambitious goals, stagnate and declare that they are defeated by reality;
Active reasons are more complex, some because the framework set in self-awareness is very clear, actively abandoning the risk of breaking through the limit, and some are defensive strategies that refuse in the face of challenges.
Xiao Li believes that he belongs to passive waste, but he hopes that his waste is "controllable". "I don't want to shirk responsibility, but I would never ask miao to do something that was laborious and unflattering." The understanding of the students' thinking is that I will not do the additional questions, which is a waste of time. ”
Once the expectations of colleagues and friends are reduced, Xiao Li will be at ease.
Young people who call themselves waste, the new road journey is roughly similar:
Some of the results of their efforts are mostly failures, and they have to persuade themselves to retreat;
Some have had achievements, but always can not self-satisfaction on their own requirements are always high;
Some are flukes, waste is often hanging on the lips, you can seek excuses for doing bad things.
How can someone who is defeated by frustration but tries to think and find the direction of life be a waste?
Most people who are prone to self-blame do not contain high waste content, and they are not even related to waste in most eyes.
Those who label it just love to make excuses, and it is not difficult to reuse waste. So, do you still believe this self-proclaimed?
Crap, don't fake it
The key to distinguishing between true and false waste is clearly positioned in Harvard University's "Nine Characteristics of a Person Becoming Waste":
Indecision; procrastination; 3 minutes of heat; fear of rejection; self-limitation; escapism; always making excuses; fear; refusal to learn.
Here, according to the actual situation, we can add a tenth characteristic: not responsible.
Judging a person's "waste content" by the above characteristics, those young people who call themselves waste, some may seriously delay, some are afraid of rejection, always stained with so many items, it is not easy to get all of them, and the waste content varies from person to person.
Xiao Li, the sunday seeker, resolutely chose his current life.
"Wandering around" was mesmerized by the poets of 19th-century Paris, who called themselves flâneurs, slowing down like children, soaking themselves in time.
Perform a similar hangout every Sunday, occasionally choosing to disappear for an hour during the workday when you give up thinking.
In addition to Xiao Li, there are also young people in the "985 Waste Introduction Plan" group who are bothering to enter the career establishment or civil service and strive to achieve their life expectations.
They don't have 3 minutes of heat, they are very responsible for themselves, they don't escape reality, and they don't hesitate. Those who are reluctant young people, there is no need to promote negative behavior.
According to the nine characteristics of estimating their own waste, if you think that there are more than six, but be careful, there are a few bottom lines to always remind yourself, do not fake the real thing.
First of all, responsibility comes first, even if you think that waste can not add chaos to others, especially in the workplace;
Secondly, learning is very important, and no matter how boring people have their own interests, don't waste it, even if you are not good at it now;
Third, don't escape from reality, you can accept it and use it, but no one can escape it.
If you think of yourself as a waste, can life be better?
Living in the city, each of us is busy, busy working, busy socializing, busy looking for value, until we find that the results are not satisfactory, and worse, the negative impact is far beyond expectations.
We began to give up, to give up making a name for ourselves academically or careers, to give up our guarantee qualifications, to give up chasing 1 million...
Calling ourselves waste, we admit that we can't do more than one thing, and we begin to scrutinize the pros and cons more rigorously, and waste should also be scientific and measured.
People who contain 100% of the waste are often neither responsible nor serious about everything, they think they are good, but they often make others unhappy. Who encourages each other to be wasted?
Therefore, when a rational waste that calculates the ratio of one's own ability to input and output is easier to live comfortably.
Self-deprecating denial can play a role in lowering the expectations of others, and thus gaining psychological relief.
It is not that we must retreat in the face of risky things, what is important is to put aside the gain and loss of the heart, and reduce the psychological burden.
The most difficult to rescue are those self-blame and guilt-ridden "waste", who are always pressing on themselves step by step.
Every time they go up the stairs, they feel the more limited in their ability, they are not willing to become waste in their hearts, and the more they put waste on their lips, the more difficult it is to live freely.
If you want to live a good life, first learn to be tolerant of yourself, and it is best to start by giving up calling yourself a waste.
Of course, it is a good thing to face your own shortcomings, everything can not be too extreme, excessive self-damage is a big taboo, do not completely deny the value of their own existence.
Researchers at Seoul National University found in a study that in adults with severe depression and experiencing trauma, feelings of worthlessness were clearly associated with suicide attempts.
The inability of certain areas to meet the expectations of others or ourselves does not mean that our lives are worthless. It is a great honor to be born human, after all, we have emotions, we can think, we can experience and experience time.
A selfish but hard-thinking waste is Xiao Li's description of his own behavior patterns:
"Before the Middle Ages, the philosopher Aristotle extolled contemplative life, monks spent most of their time praying and chanting, and the guilt of achieving nothing was artificially imposed on us by Calvinism."
Spurred by the utilitarianism of the times, we can also gain some valuable life methods, accept the baptism of Internet entrepreneurial thinking, quickly trial and error, and transfer the track.
When you are young, give up unrealistic fantasies early, treat your own abilities correctly, find the life you really want, and gradually practice, why waste it?