Wen 丨 Qingxin Junyue
The marriage between Zhou Bingyi and Hao Dongmei can be described as respectful and respectful.
The two knew each other from their student days to the age of eternal separation. Although there is a clear difference in the door, it does not affect the stable married life of the two, which is attributed to Zhou Bingyi's philosophy of life.
Zhou Bingyi's life has lived in a planned box, in order to keep himself not out of this box, infinitely maintain the stability of life, work and marriage, his every choice, every decision, is a deliberate, weighing the pros and cons after the result, even the only out-of-the-box "sexual encounter" seems to be in his calculations.
Under somebody's roof
Zhou Bingyi is a "door-to-door son-in-law".
Although he did not want to admit it, he was not nominally an upside-down door, but in fact, after he and his wife Hao Dongmei returned to the city, they have been living in the two-story building of his mother-in-law's house.
In the original work, Hao Dongmei's father had already died in that catastrophe, leaving only her mother Jin Yueji to live alone, and she enjoyed retirement benefits at the vice ministerial level.
Moving into his mother-in-law's house, although Zhou Bingyi was not completely willing, it was also his choice after weighing the pros and cons.
First, the Hao family only has one child, Hao Dongmei, the husband is gone, Hao's mother naturally wants to live with her daughter, otherwise a person is too lonely. As for Hao Dongmei, of course, she is also willing to live with her mother, and if Zhou Bingyi does not want to live separately from his wife, she can only accept this arrangement.
Of course, Zhou Bingyi is happy to fulfill his wife and mother-in-law, in his view, this is conducive to the stability of marriage and family relations.
Second, living in his mother-in-law's house is also a good thing for Zhou Bingyi. At that time, he was working in the Provincial Department of Culture, and under normal circumstances, the unit considered his housing problem, but the welfare of dividing the house was always more monks and less porridge, and everyone was staring at the quota of the house.
Living in his mother-in-law's house, Zhou Bingyi did not have to consider the problem of dividing the room, he took the initiative to give up the quota, which is more conducive to his work as the deputy director of the housing committee of the Cultural Agency, to carry out his work and avoid the doubts of others, so as to gain the praise of Gao Fengliangjie.
As Hao Mu said in the original book:
"You live quite spaciously, my body is good, it is no problem to live for another decade or two, no dispute." If the realm is not contended, the organization will look at it. ”
Therefore, whether it is for the stability of the marriage relationship or for the consideration of work and career, in Zhou Bingyi's view, living in the mother-in-law's house is a good choice.
As for the drawbacks, they are mainly reflected in two aspects.
On the one hand, living in his mother-in-law's house and giving up the quota of the house means that he will not own his own house, and without a house, he will not be able to live with his parents and improve the living conditions of his parents. The son has become a provincial party cadre, and his parents' lives have not improved at all, and they have been hiding in the dirty and messy adobe house with light characters, which makes him, as the eldest son, feel a little guilty.
On the other hand, living in his mother-in-law's house means "sending people under the fence", and he needs to think about how to deal with his relationship with his mother-in-law, which is another reason why he is reluctant.
If it is someone else, they may make different choices, but for Zhou Bingyi, work and marriage are the first priority, parents should be able to understand their own pain, as for the relationship with his mother-in-law, he has his own way.
please
Hao Dongmei's mother, Jin Yueji, was completely psychologically resistant to this son-in-law before she met Zhou Bingyi.
In the original work, Jin Yueji once complained about her daughter's choice:
"At the end of the day, you're not strong enough. If you are strong enough to keep the minimum bottom line of mate selection, won't the standard of choice be high again? What kind of family can't you find? Look for the corners and corners! The mother of the place where the light word film is heard, can the ordinary people in that place produce such excellent youths? ”
Jin Yueji looked down on Zhou Bingyi's origin, and she was extremely disappointed in her daughter's choice. Even though the wood was already in the boat, she had already made preparations to break up the two, and she could not tolerate her daughter marrying a mediocre person.
From the perspective of parenting, Hao Mu's high requirements have her reasons. However, she ignored that when Zhou Bingyi and Hao Dongmei were together, the status of the Zhou family was much higher than that of their family, and at that time Hao Dongmei was still inferior to themselves, but everyone in the Zhou family did not resist Hao Dongmei because they were afraid of being implicated.
Later, Jin Yueji met the legendary son-in-law, although not extremely satisfied, but basically acceptable, especially when she felt her daughter's infinite love for Zhou Bingyi, she completely recognized the son-in-law and agreed to the couple to live in her own home.
Zhou Bingyi clearly knows his situation, and he needs to try his best to be a "good son-in-law" to get Hao Mu's approval.
Therefore, every day after dinner, he would take a long time to chat with his mother-in-law and try to follow her mother-in-law as much as possible. Hao Dongmei even complained that Zhou Bingyi did not spend much time with her mother.
Hao Dongmei did not understand her husband's caution, and she had asked Zhou Bingyi why she repeatedly said those fleshy and flattering words to her mother, which in her opinion was completely unnecessary.
In this regard, Zhou Bingyi's explanation is:
"I have a son-in-law who lives with my mother-in-law with her. How dare a man under the eaves not bow his head? Besides, I'm not under the roof of my own house. If I were a stuffy gourd, your mother would be dissatisfied with me in the long run. Then, I was awkward, unhappy, and it would inevitably affect our feelings. The person who knows the time is Junjie, judging the situation, I can only try to coax her to be smooth, and strive to make her feel very happy because of the existence of my son-in-law. ”
I have to say that Zhou Bingyi is so calm no matter what time.
He knows that his mother-in-law will be dissatisfied with his origins, and he knows how to get his mother-in-law's affection, and he plans everything in his life like a task. He is willing to give time in exchange for family harmony, even if sometimes he is not so willing, even if he is not so willing, even hypocritical, but reason and facts tell him that there is nothing wrong with doing so.
Weighing the pros and cons has always been Zhou Bingyi's way of survival. Perhaps related to the professional philosophy he studied, he was good at dialectically looking at all the problems in life, what things, what costs they had to pay, what kind of results they could face, and which choice was more beneficial to himself.
As he said to Hao Dongmei:
"It is also the instinct of animals, seeking advantage and avoiding harm!" Offending your mother is not good for me at all, but winning your mother's favor is of great benefit to me. ”
Under Zhou Bingyi's flattery and compromise, his conjugal relationship with Hao Dongmei, as well as his relationship with his mother-in-law, has always been in good shape, which is exactly the result he expects.
However, a "sexual encounter" soon after almost upset this balance.
Affair
Zhou Bingyi had a "sexual encounter".
It was an encounter in a foreign country.
At that time, with the secret help of his mother-in-law, he was transferred away from the Cultural Affairs Department and became the party secretary of the state-owned factory, and it was also this transfer that allowed him to truly embark on the road to politics.
During a business trip abroad, his project and plan did not go as smoothly as expected, and he went to the village to drink stomach ulcers on the wine table and was hospitalized, but the progress of the project was stuck in an important person.
During his hospitalization, he became friends with an internist named Olivia. Olivia loves literature and is full of curiosity about China, so the two have a very close chat, and later Oria invites Zhou Bingyi to her home.
To Zhou Bingyi's surprise, Orya's father is a pivotal figure, with the help of Olivia and her father, his project was successfully completed, and Oria also developed a different kind of affection for Zhou Bingyi, and the two even kissed deeply in front of the guests at the family banquet the night before he returned to China.
Zhou Bingyi wanted to hide this matter from Hao Dongmei, but Hao Dongmei still saw the "lace news" about the matter in the newspaper.
Hao Dongmei, who had never had such a sense of crisis, faced with Hao Dongmei's questioning, Zhou Bingyi's reply was:
"You think for me, if I can't do it, will I still have the face to go back to the factory?" If I had to do that, could I refuse her eagerness to help? I know what you think in your heart, you want to say from my mouth that she is a hot head for me to shave her head, I don't have any real feelings, just using her, right? But this is not the truth, the truth is that I am like a desperate person, and her help brings the whole thing back to life. So my dear, I have to admit that I was moved by gratitude. If I don't admit this, I say that the person who has helped me a lot is shaving his head and picking a hot head, and you are happy inside, but I am also too despicable, right? ”
Zhou Bingyi's words made Hao Dongmei overwhelmed, and he couldn't find a reason to refute it.
Although she was not happy in her heart, she had to admit that What Zhou Bingyi said was the truth, she was a reasonable person, and she flinched when she saw her husband's fearless and righteous appearance.
Objectively speaking, Zhou Bingyi's "sexual encounter" is understandable to some extent. He himself weighed the pros and cons, and when the benefits far outweighed the giving, he was certainly willing to accept the emotions of this foreign woman and give them emotional rewards.
However, even if there is a reason, it cannot hide the problem of kissing another woman deeply in the case of marriage. He persuaded himself with desperation, and was ready to convince his wife, and even he had already thought about how to block his mother-in-law's mouth, after all, in his opinion, it was his mother-in-law who insisted on letting him take over the factory, so under the premise of everything for the factory, the mother-in-law would not blame too much.
Seeing this, I suddenly felt a little sad for Hao Dongmei. Obviously, her husband has committed an act of infidelity, but she can only bear to compromise, as if the other party has long been standing in an "invincible position", and any question she questions is an "insult" to her husband. The feeling is too depressing.
And Zhou Bingyi's handling and treatment of things is really frighteningly calm. Everything is within his calculations, including feelings and the reactions of his wife and mother-in-law. Upon his return, he broke off contact with Olivia, and in his words, the matter was perfectly over, and he had no need to contact her anymore.
Throughout Zhou Bingyi's life, he seems to be the most "twisted" existence in the whole "Human World". He was not as wanton as Zhou Rong was, doing whatever he wanted, and he was not like Zhou Bingkun, struggling above the line of subsistence. He has knowledge, thoughts, his own persistence, and his own philosophy of life. All his choices are optimal choices based on reason, rarely swayed by emotions, but with emotional overtones.
The same is true of his marriage to Hao Dongmei. He once used the term "qinser's good" to describe their husband and wife relationship, which has always been harmonious, but that's all, and this is the marriage he wants, no need for vigorousness, no need for you and me, just need stability, plainness and long-term warmth.
Perhaps this is the charm of "The World of Man", which has written a different life for different people and exhausted thousands of ways of living in this world.
Qingxin Junyue, an emotional observer, ta said book critic, film critic. Warm you, me with words.