At the age of 21, he became famous overnight in "Strange Story". After that he did talk shows, short films, performance art... Now, he has opened a special exhibition of paintings in the art museum. While blooming his own maverick, while longing for love and understanding, in him, he stimulated a strange chemical reaction.
Written | Meiya
Edit | Hu Wenwen
Images courtesy of respondents
On the afternoon of the interview with Jiang Sida, in the short 5-minute journey between our arrival and departure from his home, the demon wind and rain splashed overhead, and the rest of the time the sun was sunny and the clouds were lined with silver edges. This paradoxical climate freak is like a realistic view of this demonized man.
But that day's Jiang Sida was very calm, from his expression to his clothing, contrary to his out-of-line appearance in the eyes of the public. He wears a cotton and linen coat with a clean rice pigment, a mushroom hairstyle of the Beatles, and a layer of foundation on his face, and the whole person is very well-behaved.
After getting a little more familiar, Jiang Sida revealed his original face and asked me slightly triumphantly: "Am I different from what you imagined?" ”
I suddenly realized that his good manners today were part of his outlier. Whether it is wearing a skirt at the Xining Film Festival, or casually letting fans paint on their bodies, or wrapping the model into a candle after a fight with a donkey, just like today's plain purity, it is just a different appearance, and surprise is the purpose and essence of the same destination.
levitation
If you only intercept the surface of Jiang Sida's public opinion, "out of line" is his only public label. "Out of line" includes "mouth poison", "obedience", "neuroticism", "hot eyes", but in fact, if you only know a little about this person, you will find that his out of line is levitating.
He lived a life that was almost old. Jiang Sida's home is located near Chaoyang Park and is a first-floor duplex. The reason he likes it here is that he can see the trees every day. The yard at the gate was planted with tomatoes and strawberries by his mother. Speaking of this, Jiang Sida's suspended side was revealed again: "I think my mother should plant a little foreign varieties, such as creamy Roma lettuce." ”
He often went to Chaoyang Park to walk the corners, watch the old man exercise, and exercise with the old man. When the "Strange Story Formation Incident" broke out, his first reaction was to rush to Chaoyang Park to row a boat for 4 hours.
After our chat relaxed, his Northeastern dialect began to scramble to jump out, and his hands unconsciously began to pick their feet. This is at odds with the style of others calling "celebrities".
His interpersonal radius is small and stable, the agent is a college classmate Qin Ling, and the flow of studio staff will make him sad. He and Qin Ling never had a disagreement over operational and business matters. The only contradiction was that Qin Ling threw him in a strange social situation in Xining, and he felt abandoned. He often strongly likes, admires, and helps, but in the end he still settles in his circle.
He was also extremely filial, and the rebellion was already exhausted in some things. He lives with his mother, gets along with his mother in an equal and spoiled way, and describes his mother's modernity and innocence in a series of public accounts. On Mother's Day last year, his panoramic micro-variety show "Caught in the Ginger Bureau" planned an event to cast photos of 15 mothers on billboards in Sanlitun, Beijing.
It's hard to imagine what it's like to have a son like Jiang Sida: he is farther away from society than most "sons", but closer to himself.
I was more surprised that in his life, he would fight, not a verbal fight, but a real fist and foot exchange. He also triumphantly commented on his cat: "It is very fierce, and it may not lose when it goes out to fight." He once recounted on his podcast his experiences with two fights: one when he slapped the other person three times, and once when his wig was removed. It doesn't matter what happens or what happens, and he doesn't mind describing in detail the embarrassment of losing or the pleasure of winning, what matters is that it can become a joke.
These tightnesses clinging to the ground became a modification of his suspension. What he wants to express seems to be: You see, I am different from what you think.
clear
Jiang Sida's fan base is mainly young people, mostly college students. My observation of them is that they are different from the worship of Aidou, and their "like" is more of a self-projection of a mental state and a niche cultural identity, mixed with curiosity, confusion, and caution.
They were so far away from Jiang Sida, and so close. Far because many of the things Jiang Sida has done in recent years have stood on the cusp of the vanguard, drifting farther and farther away on the edge of "public order and good customs." Many people gradually lost their powder after Jiang Sida left "Strange Story" because they "can't understand what he is doing".
Recently, Jiang Sida is almost transparent and all-round.
In the performance art "Meet and Greet", he asked fans to paint on his nearly naked body; called fans to Chaoyang Park to "lie down"; and once found a few black fans to face people face to face with the opportunity to spit in front of their faces.
He never put himself on the altar, but openly unfolded his own human sample, allowing people to observe closely and very participatory.
The same is true in terms of ideology, he has long been fragmented, as if there is no one on the social platform to share his mood and state, there are poetry, there are whispers, there are ugly, there are nudity.
Even his "contrivance" he can claim with a straight face. When we visited the cloakroom during an interview at his house, he picked up a Loewe leather hair band and said, "This hair band cost more than ten thousand pieces, just because it looks good, I really have a bad brain." After a while, he shook his head and said, "Maybe I bought this so that I can say this sentence today, reflecting my taste and generosity." ”
Talking about black fans commenting that he was "very sick every day and cheating on female college students", he covered his mouth and smiled: "I think he said it harshly and accurately." ”
He reminds me of the parenthetical inner monologue that Tuo Ong used in footnotes in the book "Basement Notes": it was a lame quip, but I did not want to delete it. I wrote it because I thought it must be very playful. But now I can see that this is just an attempt to show myself in a despicable way - but I just deliberately don't delete it!
From the physical to the spiritual horizontal, Jiang Sida is open enough, even the hair-thin, hidden, dark, jealous, subtle psychological activities, he will fully reveal.
There is also a vertical brightness that Jiang Sida's emotions can be seamlessly switched. Before the interview, he held up a glass of wine and gave me a preventive injection: I might cry for a while.
He didn't that day, but when I was invited to his special dinner at the X Art Museum and had just taken a bite of the appetizer, Jiang Sida, who was sitting diagonally across from me, burst into tears. He kept muttering, "I don't think it's all mine." And a minute before that, he was still raising a glass with joy.
This is the fourth time I've seen him burst into tears, the first few times on social media. Observing his sudden change at such a close distance, his heart would still be shocked. An hour after crying at the dinner party, he ran to the event stage of the special exhibition and shouted to the crowd: "Love me!" Let's have sex together! ”
Jiang Sida's "Love Me" exhibition site
Beijing X Art Museum
June 12-August 15, 2021
He seemed to have his own transparent floor, covering his emotions like a glass of wine, allowing him to retract on any occasion.
This openness is important. In some cases, this openness can be replaced by "sincerity", so that you can't ignore his visible "flaws" in the beak, just as you can't shoot at an unarmed person. In other cases, it can be equated with the "ego," which gives him the privilege of being "weird," allowing the environment to adapt quickly to him and minimizing the viewer's threshold of "normal" for him, as if he were grotesque.
At some point, this openness will release the signal of "affinity" and dissolve some of Jiang Sida's mysteries. This will give people who pay attention to him have the illusion that entering Jiang Sida's heart is a matter without threshold. Jiang Sida said he often received private messages: the girl said she wanted to be a girlfriend with him.
From my observation, it is not difficult to get his courtesy. But in fact, the threshold for approaching Jiang Sida is extremely high. The knack for crossing thresholds has little to do with conditions, resources, or status. Jiang Sida relies on his sense of smell, and he will smell the same kind. So, when Jiang Sida stands in front of you, you will be nervous, you don't know if he is 11➕equals 2 difficulty for you, or the Riemann hypothesis, can never be solved.
But a part of Jiang Sida, even he himself is confused.
timorous
At the 2019 Hong Kong Book Fair, in the lecture of the Oscar winner of the Best Art Award, Ip Kam Tim, the reader asked a question: he studied art, but he did not know what he could do, and hoped that Ip Kam Tim could give a directional guidance. Without the slightest hesitation, Ye Jintian replied to her coldly: "A real artist naturally knows what he wants to do. ”
("Love Me" exhibition site)
When Jiang Sida mentioned his special exhibition, he was vague. He couldn't say something very specific about how he felt. Many times, he uses "I don't know" to describe his creations.
He also gave his special exhibition a very casual name, "Love Me", which originated from his 8 acrylic paintings, and he painted 8 people who were of great significance to him. In these 8 paintings, you can indescribably feel the emotional concentration of these 8 people and Jiang Sida, as well as personality characteristics.
In my opinion, Jiang Sida has an innate artistic sensitivity, which is the "natural" in Ye Jintian's mouth. His vagueness did not lie, for he really did not know why, like a healthy man, could not explain why his eyes could see. There was also a wait-and-see and timidity, and he did not dare to characterize himself as an "artist."
When he participated in the first season of Strange Story, Jiang Sida was 21 years old and became famous overnight. After that, he did a lot of shows: "Transparent Man", "Caught in the Ginger Bureau", "Only Three Days Visible". After getting the interview to the head, he started touching art again. Film Art: Nine short films in conjunction with the Xining Film Festival; various performance art; painting art: a special exhibition at X Art Museum.
He was always afraid to face professional people, and if he sat in front of intellectuals, painters, and writers, even the oncoming Sanlitun tide men and women would trigger his fear. And these are all within his slash range.
Fame is rising too fast, the stalls are too big, he doesn't have much time, or not too much courage, to confirm his coordinates, so simply think of himself as a half scoop of water and try the portion. In the face of his profession and art, he had a young, fearful spirit.
For about 10 hours of close contact with him, I felt that he was also timid about love, as if he was holding a bowl of piping hot soup, and he did not give up when burned, and he was hungry for the deliciousness of that bowl of soup.
firework
Even though Jiang Sida and I chatted speculatively on the Internet, I could feel his defensiveness and temptation when we first met. During those days, in the run-up to his special exhibition, the flood of interviews made him tired of presuppositions and general questions. At this time, I asked a figurative question, such as why his WeChat avatar was Fayoum's picture, but it made him very happy to unload his defenses in an instant. "No one has ever noticed that," he said.
As a subcultural label, an existential template, Jiang Sida, as a natural person, is lonely.
He's done a show with black fans, video or face-to-face chats with people who hate him. The black powder has a reason: you didn't do anything wrong, but I just don't like you. After hanging up the phone of the last old powder that was depowdered, Jiang Sida cried.
He later said on many occasions that he didn't care about the people who hated him. But judging by his behavior, this statement is debatable.
For example, his answer to questions is a lot more roundabout. For example, when asked by me whether he was loved by female college students because of both male distance and female empathy, Jiang Sida was nervous, he said that we can't define men and women in this way;
Asked if his art was "above the golden thread," he thought for a few seconds and said, "Some are here, some are not." ”；
Asked if he would doubt his art a few years from now, he said, "It's possible to be just as real and stupid as I read in previous articles." ”
When asked: "Do you really think women's clothing is beautiful, or just to achieve a shocking effect", Jiang Sida's answer I did not understand too well: "I will understand it as a balance, a balance of beauty and sensationalism." This is not a pejorative meaning, because in Jiang Sida's eyes, "sensationalism" itself is an ability, which he believes is a skill.
It was his most resolute answer, but it was a slogan provocation that did not touch the core of those who might offend.
Jiang Sida added that he now has no answers to many questions, and it is normal for a person's views to be inconsistent. He was very acutely aware of his moderation.
I don't think he's deliberately compromising, but rather his desire for love and understanding, "sharp avoidance" and therefore subtly sneaking into his conditioned reflexes. He wasn't insincere either, and it was because he was sincere that he repeatedly questioned his answers.
So I kind of understand that he was haunted on the night the special show opened. He was proud, reserved, tearful, happy, and flowing everywhere, and every part was hoarse. He hooked up with his friends and family and fans in the crowd, shaking hands and hugging. I even suspect that everything he did was to have such a night, and everyone on this isolated island loved him unquestionably.
He was wearing a long pink gauze dress, sitting on the steps, his cheeks crimson against the shoulders of others, and when he looked at the crowded dance floor, I secretly looked at the flickering light spots on the side of his face, and thought to myself: He is a freak, but he still wants a lot of love, what can he do.
Before the interview, my synaesthesia image of Jiang Sida was fireworks. Sitting next to him, the feeling was even more like. I was on Jiang Sida, and I could smell the fat powder that I had never heard before. This chemical reaction between femininity and sex is like black powder in fireworks.
When the fireworks bloom, they are magnificent and grand, and everyone can't help but look at their loud noises and colors. And the fireworks are gone, except for a place of confetti, there is endless loneliness. Suddenly fireworks, hate to part ways everywhere.
If you and Jiang Sida come face to face,
What question would you ask him?
In-depth reporting by Jiang Sida
Published in the June 2021 issue of Nandu Weekly
END