1. Upstairs lived a widow, beautiful looking, three years older than me. One day my relatives in the countryside sent two native chickens over, and I thought I couldn't finish eating alone, so I went upstairs and knocked on the door.

1. Upstairs lived a widow, a beautiful thief, three years older than me. One day my relatives in the countryside sent two native chickens over, and I thought I couldn't finish eating alone, so I went upstairs and knocked on the door. Widow Zhang Li saw that it was me, smiled and said, come in and sit down, have a cup of tea? I shook my head and said, I won't go in and sit down today, I'm here to invite you to my house for dinner. She said in surprise, how can I remember to invite me to dinner? Is there something asking me? I sighed and said, You know I've been single for many years, and since my divorce, I've been alone and lonely, and I want to invite you to dinner today. Eating chicken, drinking chicken soup, drinking white wine, both of her and I were red in the face, our eyes were intoxicated, and we were already drunk for a long time. I couldn't help but hold her hands, she shyly lowered her head, her face was even redder, someone knocked on the door, opened the door to see, is the door of the widow Li Xia, she smiled and said to me: Yesterday I bought the lottery ticket actually won more than twenty million. You promised me that as long as I have five million, you will marry me, and now you can't deny it, can you? Li Xia looked at zhang li and zhang li with a flushed face and snorted, I already knew that you two must have an inside story, and now it is indeed exposed. Alas, forget it, this stinky man is given to you, and as a gift, I will give you five million! I was overjoyed, smiled and said to Li Xia, that is really thank you. Zhang Li also smiled happily, put her arms around Li Xia and said, You are my good sister, and we will be a family in the future. Zhang Li and I finally got married, bought a villa with the five million that Li Xia gave, and then moved in. Li Xia also joined in the fun and moved into the villa to be neighbors with us. The three of us are together every day, but it is lively and happy, and such a day is really beautiful.

2. Tired of the hustle and bustle of the city, I spent 2 million and built a villa in my hometown. Idle nothing to herd sheep, tease shrimp, and eat seafood when hungry. Once my wife and I went to the mountains to herd sheep, and my wife watched the sheep graze, and she felt very tasty, and there was white foam in her mouth after chewing for a long time. So she also got some grass to chew in her mouth, the taste was really good, sweet, and later learned to sheep, chewing foam in her mouth! In the following week, the wife was pulled to the point of collapse...

3. My brother has an aunt who is only 5 years older than him and is the school flower of Southeast University. That day, my brother and his aunt were walking around the street holding hands. The two men's actions were particularly affectionate, and as a result, they were seen by the class teacher who passed by. The class teacher immediately called his brother's mother and accused him of early love. The brother's mother asked him what was going on, and the brother said helplessly: You ask your sister! Then, he was beaten up by his mother!

4. Cities are now so polluted that they are simply not suitable for human habitation. So I went to Sanya in a beautiful environment and bought a house, where the air is not generally fresh. Tonight my villa suddenly went out of power and it was pitch black. Me: "Daughter-in-law, you bring the candle on your right hand side." Wife: "It's so dark, I can't see my five fingers, how do I tell the difference between the left side and the right side." ”

5. The loan bought a Santana, and today the number is limited to taking the bus. After getting in the car, I picked up my phone and started playing, when suddenly a brisk ringtone rang. Then the girl sitting next to me pushed me up and asked shyly: Your ringtone sounds good, can you pass it to me? I was a little confused and looked at her inexplicably. At this time, the bell suddenly stopped, and an uncle's voice came from the front row: Hey...

6. The summer on the mountain is too hot, the abbot returns to the villa in the city center to escape the heat, and the security guards stop him. The abbot drunkenly said, "I am the owner!" I forgot my keys. The security guard said: "You scare me less, you are not the owner." Abbot: "I am the owner!" The security guard said, "Don't admit it, I'll stop the owner to show you in a moment." "At this time, a man came in a Porsche, and the security guard waved his hand to stop the car! As a result, Porsche rushed by and roared: "Hurry up, open the door for me!" The security guard turned to the other man and said, "See no, that is the owner, you look at it is a small advertisement." "#Funny#Funny#"

7. When I came home from work, I saw my wife's eyes were red and swollen, as if she had just cried, and I didn't know what was happening. I hugged my wife in pain and asked what happened? The wife said grievously: It is not because of you, I went to your mother-in-law's house in the afternoon and gave me a lot of corn. I don't like to eat it, so I don't want to bring it. Who knows your mother-in-law said, my son-in-law likes to eat, you have to bring it, and you have to bring it without it. I said a little triumphantly: Just a few corns! As for being so aggrieved? My wife kicked me hard and said, "Go to the kitchen and see how much it is." This did not look at the frightened, the mother-in-law gave a snakeskin bag of corn. It hurt me more than my mother," so much so that I suspected that my mother-in-law was my mother-in-law.

8, get up in the morning, found dizzy, and a little fever, obviously a cold. There was no way but to ask the female boss for a day off at home. After thinking about it for half a day, I sent a message to the female boss, and originally wanted to send: "Boss, I have a cold, please take a day off." As a result, I don't know if my head was burned out, and I sent out: "Wife, I have a cold, please take a day off." "Just sent it, I reacted, a little confused. However, this text message did not withdraw this function, thinking that this can be regarded as the end. I was nervous about it, but I didn't expect that the female boss, who always had a cold face, actually agreed to my application happily, and also told me to pay attention to rest. Although I am very touched in my heart, how can this end when I come to the company tomorrow!

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #年度搞笑名场面 #