Before, Zhang Yuqi said: I really can't see men's vision.
A sentence made many netizens agree. Some netizens suggested that Zhang Yuqi keep her eyes open when choosing a man, and some netizens suggested that Zhang Yuqi should not easily find a man. It's really impossible to find a man.
But why can't all the Zhang Yuqi people find a job? There's a reason for that.
I don't know if you have noticed that some women can't find no matter how many men they change, and some women can't find them no matter how many men they change.
Why do we always look for the bad guys? Can't we see that it's true yet?
Just like Crystal, she found several boyfriends, but it was always bad, and later found a marriage partner, but every time it was not good, even very miserable, especially the marriage with her second husband Huang Yiqing, it was simply a dog blood drama.
She met her first husband for a short time, then huang Yiqing, soon became pregnant, and then they got married. After marriage, at first Crystal and her husband had a good relationship.
However, after they announced their divorce, they began to denigrate each other, accuse each other, and dislike each other, which is simply shocking.
Then the netizen said to Crystal, "You see people's vision is really poor."
In fact, we need to understand a heart-wrenching truth, that is, a woman chooses a bad man, not because she has a bad vision, but because she is born predestined.
Too many women always like to meet scumbags.
We couldn't find anyone around. Some people will meet the right person in the beginning, and some people will meet the bad guys in the beginning. Some say it's luck, some say it's misfortune, some say it's fate.
But whatever it is, we will find a situation in which the person who meets the scumbag once will meet the scumbag twice, or even the scumbag three times, and the person who meets the good lover will also meet the second and third.
From our parents' perspective, this is a person's life. Fate is destined that when you meet a scumbag, you will not meet a good person, and when you meet a good person, you will not meet a scumbag.
In my hometown, I have a relative. When she first fell in love, she was cheated out of all her savings by her husband. Then she met a second lover, and the appearance of this lover shocked us.
Because this man is 20 years older than her, about the same age as her father, don't say that we can't accept this feeling, even her parents can't accept it, but she is stubborn and persistent, and even wants to marry each other. Eventually, her parents couldn't help it, but she wasn't happy after marriage.
Because the man is still a lazy person, she earns money every day to support the family and raise the man, and the people in her hometown say that it is her life.
Maybe before, I would have thought it was her life, but after learning about psychology, I found that it wasn't life at all, but for a reason.
Behind the encounter with the scumbag is the blind spot of character.
As early as the 17th century, the French physicist Marriott discovered blind spots in the human eye.
That is, part of our retina does not have photoreceptor cells. Even if there is an object, this part will not feel or see, which is the blind spot of vision.
And each of us not only has blind spots in vision, but also in personality, and the same is true in personality and visual blind spots.
For example, there are a lot of hidden characters that we can't find. These are the blind spots of our characters, but they are actually characters that we can't see.
From a psychological point of view, the personality of each of us can be divided into two parts, one part is the dominant personality and the other part is the invisible personality. The dominant personality is what we usually show, and the invisible personality is not what we show. However, others know about this character, but we do not know that this character exists.
American psychologists Joseph and Harry proposed the "Johari Window" theory of analyzing interpersonal relationships and interactions, dividing human cognition into four windows:
They know what they know, what they don't know, what they know is the dominant character, and others know what they don't know. This is the invisible character, but also the blind spot of the character.
For example, we are introverts, always think that we are such people, but sometimes inadvertently contact others, will let others know that we are actually a cheerful person.
Once we don't know the blind spots of our personality, it's easy to make mistakes and be easily caught up by others, especially in a relationship.
Behind the blind spots of personality is the family.
In fact, the blind spots in our personality stem from our family of origin, that is, in the family of birth, what we lack will lead to blind spots in our personality.
For example, in the family, we are very short of love, so if we meet someone who is good to us, we will love at all costs.
For example, in the family, we feel endless control, so if we meet someone who respects us, we will desperately love.
For example, in the family, we have always been repressed, so as long as there is a person who takes us seriously, cares about us, and praises us, we will love at all costs.
Therefore, what kind of men we will be with is actually inseparable from our family of origin, because with the birth of the family, our personality is formed, whether it is a blind spot or not.
So many people always look for people who look like scum, but it's not that they have a bad eye, but that they are affected by their blind spots.
In fact, it is not so much a blind spot of personality as it is what is most needed in the heart. For example, people who do not get their father's love from childhood like to find people who are older than themselves and find people who will take care of themselves. For example, people who are not recognized since childhood like to find people who can speak sweet words; for example, people who have low self-esteem since childhood like to find a person who can make themselves confident again.
So, many times, it is not their poor eyesight, but the influence of their family.
Whether a woman meets a scumbag or not is doomed, but we can change it.
But this is not the case. We can't change it. As long as we want to change it, we can still change it because we have to understand that life is our own. If we are always influenced by blind spots in our personality, we will only participate in our own lives.
So we can solve it through these three methods:
See the blind spots in your personality.
First, we need to see our own blind spots. After all, we need to understand that only by understanding our blind spots can we overcome them.
But it's not easy to see. We can do it. First of all, after meeting an inappropriate partner to break up, we must reflect on why we are with each other, how we feel about each other, why we broke up, what the other party did that made us unacceptable, and how people around us evaluated this person.
Through self-reflection, we can distinguish some, but it is still difficult to really see our blind spots, so we can use the second method. We must have very good friends around us, so we can chat with friends at this time and let them analyze and see. Through the words of our friends, we can see our blind spots accurately and clearly.
Therefore, the first step we should take is to see our own blind spots.
Face up to your inner needs.
Many times, what we see is not necessarily useful, and only when we really face it, that is, through our blind spots, do we know the real needs of our hearts.
For example, the desire for paternal love, the desire for trust, the desire for respect, the desire for appreciation, or the desire to see, whatever it is, we have to analyze it through the blind spots of character.
After analysis, we must face up to this need, that is, recognize and accept this demand. Only by accepting and acknowledging this demand can we truly break through this demand.
Don't lose yourself in love.
Finally, when we know the true needs of our hearts, we should understand that when we encounter a relationship, we may not be enough resistance to what kind of person. When we know this, we should remind ourselves to be sane and not to be carried away by love after meeting such people.
You know, we can't afford to bear the consequences after getting carried away.
Therefore, when you meet such a person, you must understand more, observe in ordinary life, observe his friends around him, or understand his friends.
When we know it clearly, we can decide whether or not we want to be together. Only in love never lose yourself, even if there are blind spots in personality, you will not easily meet unsuitable people and will not be deceived by others.
May each of us find someone who is truly suitable for us in our relationships, and may each of us not be hurt in a relationship.