How to communicate well with your child
Student A: Teacher, is it difficult to communicate with each other? Student B: A sentence of language, an action, an emotion, is such a simple transmission of information, feedback information can be completed, where is the difficulty?
Teacher: Difficult, communication is a very important lesson for people's survival, anyone can speak, but how to speak artily, how to communicate well with others, and establish good interpersonal relationships, not everyone can do a good job.
Recently, my aunt at home contacted me, saying that her son was difficult to discipline during the rebellious period, saying that he would not listen to anything, that he would quarrel and run away from home because of some small things, and that he would go out to play until the evening during this long holiday and not come home on time.
In fact, I still know her son, after all, is a cousin, the New Year will also play together, in my eyes, he is a cool, not good at expressing boys, very keen to play basketball, you say he is sunny, and do not love to socialize with people, you say he is introverted, from time to time will throw a cold joke. This type of child is actually quite common in life, if you can sincerely contact him and understand him, he will also open his heart to communicate with you. If you don't know him well, or someone he doesn't like, you can't pry his mouth open no matter how you pry it. But he is a good child, just because he is in the critical stage of adolescence, strong sense of independence, more and more adult, do not like to talk to people too much about themselves, especially in front of his parents, what he wants to do is to be able to speak less concisely, can not say not to talk about.
I replied to my aunt like this: "Every child grows up with too many secrets that parents don't know, you are not him, you do not have his experience, you do not understand his story, you do not have his thoughts, you do not know his psychology, the words and things that the child hides in his heart are based on the lack of deep communication between parents and children as friends. ”
"Try to understand what he likes now? What do you want to do? Then encourage him to do well, as long as he does not learn bad, then let him reflect the value of doing things, for adolescent children, must let them learn to actively choose, rather than passively accept the arrangement, have a sense of autonomy can make it easier for him to know what to do and what not to do. ”
I am very fortunate that when writing this article, I received a message from my aunt: my son called me twice on the day of school, willing to take the initiative to contact me, when I was at home, I put down my mind and talked to my son as a friend according to your method, the effect was very good...
I have always felt that there is nothing that cannot be solved, whether you are willing to share it with someone you can trust, only when you learn to put down your body, put down your face, and put down your dignity to get along with a person, the mood will come to be comfortable, and you can also open your heart to share the story in your heart, which is happy.
Principled communication is better than blind persistence
Understand the child and do not provoke the child.
Ask your child's opinion and make a good agreement with your child.
In the process of implementation, parents should try to be gentle and persistent, can be severe, but do not lose control of emotions and jump like thunder.
If you need to criticize, only criticize the behavior, do not criticize the child's personality, such as: you are too bad, you are too unserious, you are too ignorant, you are a grinder, and so on...
Chen Meiling, a doctor of education, said: Educating children is not to win, but to pay attention to happy education.
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You don't have to force any conclusions or answers when communicating with your child, because the process of communication is far more valuable than the results of communication.
< h1 class="pgc-h-center-line" > ★ summary ★</h1>
Children are a treasure, and knowing how to stimulate their interest in the unknown, and then letting them find the answers on their own and discover the potential of children, is a fulfilling thing.
Believe me, when you pluck up the courage to go out of your own island and meet another island, you will find that the scenery you see must be more beautiful and vast than you think.
<h1 class = "pgc-h-center-line" > appreciation parting</h1>
In the process of educating children to grow, it is inevitable to encounter bumps and bumps, which is a tortuous and very interesting road, parents also have to grow synchronously, we are not to win the results of each task, but before the results come, we are happy to perform the task, the process is more important than the result.
Every change in the child is a physiological change in growth, a psychological change, every performance of the child is a memory of their growth trajectory, whether good or bad, they will eventually grow up, the parent's task is not to determine the child's results, but to accompany the child's growth on the road to use knowledge and wisdom to affect the child's future life.