Looks can attract a person in the beginning, but it is by no means the key to consistently attracting a person.
Because there is a sensory adaptation in psychology, it refers to the fact that when we enter a new environment, we may feel stimulated or uncomfortable at the beginning.
But over time, we will adapt to the new environment, then we will not feel anything unusual, and the same is true of the appearance.
At first, it will look good, but after watching it for a long time, you will not feel that it will be as amazing as it was in the beginning.
At this time, only the appearance will no longer have attraction, then if there is only the appearance, the attraction will gradually decline, so if you want to make a relationship continue, you need to use some psychological skills.
Psychological research has shown that the key way to consistently attract a person is to learn to use the blanking effect.
What is the "blanking effect" in emotional psychology?
01), at the beginning of the last century, the painting of "Mona Lisa" was stolen, originally thought that the world's famous paintings were lost, the number of tourists will decrease, but this is not the case, there are many people to the museum to see the original hanging "Mona Lisa" of the empty wall, according to incomplete statistics, the number of people who came to see the empty wall is twice as many as the number of people who have seen the painting in the past twelve years.
In fact, this is the white space effect in psychology in the effect, the so-called white space effect, refers to people in the perception of things, because of the association and more impressive psychological phenomenon.
Blank space was originally a kind of expression of Chinese painting, it does not cover a piece of paper with color, on the contrary, it triggers people's infinite reverie through white space.
02), Therefore, although the Mona Lisa is lost, the blank wall left by the painting leaves room for people's imagination, so that tourists who come to watch can enjoy the smile of the "Mona Lisa" according to their own understanding and imagination, which is why the number of tourists has not decreased but increased.
Psychologists point out: "Attraction is a good medicine for you to eliminate the troubles in the process of love, once love loses attraction, it is easy to deteriorate or even die, and attraction needs to rely on freshness to maintain." ”
In love, the key to attraction lies in the distance between each other, with the distance, there will be space, with space, will let the blank effect play a role. Therefore, grasping the scale is the key to managing a good relationship.
In intimate relationships, proper white space can give each other more space and freedom
01) The blanking effect in psychology tells us that if our understanding of a thing is in a "full" state, then there is little space left for our imagination.
Imagine that something unfolds in front of us in great detail, we know it very well, and why spend our imagination to understand it, it is bound to feel bored because it is too familiar.
When we perceive something, if the perceptual object is incomplete, then our brain will naturally use associations and then supplement the incomplete perceptual object in the mind.
02), because we do not understand a thing, so we will also be in the process of association and supplementation, and add a layer of bokeh beauty filter, it will produce a stronger psychological effect, so that due to the lack of satisfaction of curiosity and more want to spend time and energy in this matter to understand the whole.
In "Big Husband", the male protagonist has such a line: "Distance produces beauty, where does beauty come from?" Beauty is through the imagination of one's own brain, beautifying everything about the other party through one's own imagination, creating a beautiful dream. ”
However, imagination and reality exist in the distance, the distance is closer, people do not need to imagine, then the beauty will disappear, so, in the intimate relationship, the appropriate blank space can make each other more space and freedom, but also because of more space and freedom and beauty.
Because you can't get it, the warmth will last forever
We have all played the game of breaking through the level, we constantly complete the task, just to finally pass the level, we don't know what the final level is like, so our hearts are full of expectations, and we will spend time to play every day.
But if we open the hook and pass the level all at once, then the game will lose its meaning to us, because what we want is the process of exploration and curiosity.
Warmth is good, enthusiasm is also very good, initiative is also good, but too warm, active and enthusiastic, is never the best way to achieve a relationship, because it will invisibly accelerate the loss of freshness, but also promote the rapid entry of emotional burnout period between men and women, at this time, men will not care about women, naturally will not be continuously attracted.
As the world-famous writer Maugham said in The Moon and Sixpence: "Women can talk about love all day, while men can only be hot in bursts." ”
Therefore, if you want to continue to attract a man, you need to slow down your own rhythm, not too quickly let the other party get it, but also to improve yourself, make yourself full of mystery and attraction, so that we can make men love themselves to addiction.