Yesterday a reader chatted with me, talking about the Shenyang Yansan girls jumping off the building, today took the time to watch quite a few versions, the whole event is also a very complete understanding. Here I will briefly repeat the beginning and end of the matter.
The 26-year-old yansan girl and her boyfriend Gao Mou have been in love for 8 years, and Gao mou also bought a house in his hometown to prepare for marriage. Then, Gao split his legs, and Xiao Sanyu was the front desk of a foot bath city. The third girl took the initiative to add Yu, and then jumped to her death under the stimulation of many words, photos, and videos. The male protagonist Gao Mou has a cold attitude towards this. The younger brother of the third daughter of Yan sent a message to question Gao, and Gao said: "Did I force her to die?" Do I want to do that? Can't break up after a relationship? ”
Well, the three daughters of Ken were martyred in exchange for only the grief of their loved ones.
Is Little Three wrong? Not really. People are selfish, especially in terms of feelings and interests, the love enemy is extremely red-eyed, and what she does is normal, just like on the battlefield, there is no one party for the sake of the other, and there is no one party who is soft-hearted.
Is the third daughter wrong? If the deceased is the eldest, he will not comment. What I want to say is that people are easy to lose control in deep affection, and the deeper and more serious the love, the easier it is to lose their minds. No matter how rational and excellent she is, she may go mad with love, and love is a woman's death hole. Just like she kept hitting her boyfriend's voice, and her boyfriend didn't pick up, she had a series of " Malegobi, grass mud horse ..." There is no one who has lost control, not enough to talk about life.
Who's at fault? It's men.
Damn it's also men.
After being a bitch, I also want to set up a memorial arch. Changed his heart, cheated, and did not dare to admit it, coaxing at both ends and cheating at both ends. Unscrewed men are good at this trick, less than a last resort, in who has to play a deep affection, even if you want to break up, you have to direct yourself to play a "forced to do." "I wish every woman had a crush on him.
There are many women who are martyred for love, so there is not a single man who has a bad life.
If the third daughter of the research wants to open, let him go, go with the front desk of the foot bath city for a long time, and can she argue with a woman who is so low? What does a man with a changed heart have to ask for? I'm about to graduate, the conditions are good, are you afraid that you can't find a better one? Thank him for his "unwanted grace"! How about 8 years? People in 18 years, 28 years and break up, time can only represent the past, can not represent can go back to the past. Everything is forward. Sadly, many people have lost to their own demons. Defeated by that bit of unwillingness, anger. Can't put it down, what is it? It's an illusory obsession.
We always preach that women should love themselves, what is self-love? My personal understanding of self-love is: the heart is very clear about what kind of person I am, will not lose myself because of the evaluation of others, know that I am worthy of love, cherished, and treated well, and can accept everything I do, including accepting my own imperfections, and the group can firmly refuse to hurt their own words and deeds. Have their own set of evaluation system, cognitive system, the world system, have their own standards, principles and bottom line, not to be manipulated by others, not to follow the preferences of others to seek perfection. Have the ability to self-give, self-gratify, self-motivate, self-repair, self-healing, and self-happiness, regardless of others.
No matter how smart and beautiful the excellent women are for love and humble, have fallen in love, there is nothing, whether they can heal themselves is the key.
A person who does not love you, even if he pays all, can not touch him in the slightest, even if he is moved, it will only be moved for a while. What does it mean to be in love that is touched? Obviously, you can be held in the palm of your hand, but you have to be trampled on the ground and rubbed, why bother? Qiong Yao does not lack a bitter heroine.
A person who has changed his heart will not be able to keep it no matter how much he keeps it. In fact, everyone's opportunities are equal, why be the one who is picked? Is it not a KTV princess, starting from 700, let others pick? Throw a whole number on the coffee table, be a gold lord, enjoy picking and choosing, okay? There are many things about incense, there are many happy things, can you miss spring and autumn for a person who has changed his heart?
I know a lot of truth, but I still can't live this life well. Why? Because reason always loses to emotion.
How can many people who commit murder in the name of love not experience a few heartbreaking feelings walk the rivers and lakes?
Learn to live as a comedic character and use laughter to hide your heart like a knife.
Over time, you can gradually control the joy and sorrow, and no longer be set by others to be happy.
Life, in fact, is hard enough, warmth is already less, no one's life still needs to hurt, indifference, denial, betrayal, injustice.... Taking on life itself already requires the power of the flood, let alone the attachment of love. The strong survive, and the fragile ones go to destruction. It hurts to think about.
The Buddha said, "All beings suffer, but they have to cross themselves." "The process of self-crossing is painful and painful, which is the only way to grow. Wisdom, transparency, indifference, is not innate, but the understanding of pain, the crystallization of suffering. The pain has been through the heart, the heart is transparent, the night has cried bitterly, only to laugh without shock, wading through the thorns, calmly and calmly, ups and downs, only sad and happy. Cost and gain complement each other, depending on how the individual perceives it. But no matter what, we must learn to keep the cost under control.
Life can get out of hand once in a while, but it can't always get out of hand.
A completely out-of-control life has no future.
Ten years ago, I witnessed my friend pouring himself into a pool of mud in a bar because of love, tears and snot on his face, how to call his boyfriend, and he didn't answer there. Taking my phone, the other party picked up, and under my roar and threat, the other party came over, like a dog, and sent his friend half-carrying and half-dragged to the door, saying: "Please take care of it." "Just go. Her friend was half lying and half sitting in the doorway crying for half a day, and several roommates worked together to put her on the bed. The next day, she locked herself in her room, did not eat or drink, committed suicide, and her boyfriend did not come. A few of our roommates used bank cards and ID cards to take turns to grab food for more than half an hour before opening the door. The friend has a loveless look, and it is useless to say anything. The man's ruthlessness, and her indisputable anger, made me rush to the heart. Without a word, he ran to the kitchen and took a basin of water and rushed to the room and splashed it on her, pouring it through, it was summer. She stared at me with red, swollen eyes, and I was like an angry cow, asking her loudly, "Have you enough of losing people?" Do you want to have another pot? The roommates were stunned, and we were facing each other, and the air seemed to freeze. Halfway down she slid to the edge of the bed and sat silently. The roommates said a few words of comfort, and hurriedly took a towel to dry her hair and dry her body. Then he hugged her and retreated to their respective rooms. I climbed into the bed behind her and lay down to read a book. When night fell, the whole room went dark, and the lights outside lit up for the first time. She said weakly, "I'm hungry." ”
"What do you want to eat?"
"I don't know....."
"Crayfish go!" Go to the south gate! ”
"Good!"
I grunted and bounced off the bed, opened the closet, and threw a skirt at her.
"Put it on, go outside and wash your face, and go."
Many years later, I asked her, "How do you feel when you look back at you now?" ”
"Feel like a fool!"
"Now what about the man?"
"Uh..... Please, don't say it. How could I have come to see such a man in the first place! ”
"Hahaha..."
She loved the man for six years, had three children for him, never divorced the man, and his wife had a second child. She once thought that she would die without this man, and he had to be in this life. And then what? And then what?
Time changes everything. Ten years later, it doesn't take ten years, and some bad lovers, as short as a few months, as long as a year, are enough to make you doubt your own intelligence and vision. Those who can't get by are just thinking about themselves. There is nothing in this world that cannot be passed, only oneself that one does not want to let go. Letting go of others, letting go of yourself, life really needs to be a little easier, a little warmer.
It's not an easy thing to get out of a deep relationship, but when you're really willing to do it, it's not that hard. Affection and oblivion are in the middle of a thought.
When a person doesn't love you anymore, turn around and leave, and don't look back, is the best way.
What is not obtained is always in turmoil, and the favored are fearless.
You have to be the one who doesn't get it, who is favored, not to be a dog.
In the case of people who don't love you and have changed their hearts, you are not even as good as a dog.
There is no one who deserves us not to love ourselves, those who make us miserable and cry should be cleaned up, and those who warm us deserve to be invited into life. When you are clinging to a person who brings you pain, think about those who love you, when you are on the verge of collapse, please look at those who have not made it out of 2020 alive, they have no choice, how unwilling they are? You can still choose, how happy?
Leave those who don't love us, cold and heartless, and get close to people who love us, warm and beautiful.
Life is not easy, silence and self-security.
The years are late and there is no need to look back.
After all, in a lifetime, there is rarely a consummation.
About the author: Shen Xiaobei, emotional writer, starting point contract writer, emotional counselor, senior psychological counselor, author of thousands of emotional essays, reprinted by many millions of large numbers, author of the novel "Love Through the Siege", "Su Xiaomo, you don't want to escape! 》。 Not pretentious, not sensational, rational, objective, lyrical life with words, triggering people's thinking and resonance. I am original, and may not be reproduced without permission!