Original question: What does it mean that the boyfriend "loses contact" from time to time?
Hello general, I have no previous experience in love, after graduation blind date, met a boy who cared about taking care of me, I like such a gentle gentleman boy.
However, in the process of communication, he will lose contact from time to time, call him to send a message and do not answer back, for several hours before responding, only to explain to me, and then slowly cut off contact, he and other girls are good, since then I am very concerned about the loss of boys, I think it is catty.
Dating with the current boyfriend for almost a year, although in the same city, but the distance is quite far, he has also lost contact several times, the two times I am most suspicious are 520 nights he said to go shopping with his family, and once he said that he lived in a hotel, quarreled with his family, came out to eat with friends, and was in a bad mood.
I've been angry with him and communicated with him, but I've distrusted him more and more, and I don't think there should be a missing situation if I really care about someone.
I am relatively simple, my boyfriend has a deep mind, I am afraid of being hurt again, please help me from the general, is this a psychological trauma? Or am I asking too much?
Subsequent
Hello General, in early July 2020, you responded to my question.
After breaking up in late 2020, I never met a relationship I liked again. I am 30 years old this year, my anxiety is increasing day by day, sometimes because of the work to fill in the materials, the age column makes me feel...
Shame on me, I don't even dare face my age, I'm afraid to tell someone I'm 30, yes, just because I'm not married yet. I don't dare to tell people about my anxiety, in fact, I am afraid, I am afraid that one day I will get married because of pressure, or I will not be able to get married (starting a family with someone I love is what I aspire to).
I know that "you have to learn to love yourself first" and "you have to rely on yourself", but I really think that I am very bad, psychological problems, I can't find the right lover, I really want to be liked by people I like.
I was even madly jealous of my loving colleagues at those holidays, I was afraid of the holidays, and I hated their happiness because I couldn't get them. I didn't dare face my own life.
(Check out the original question response, poke here "Boyfriend "lost contact" from time to time, what does it mean?) 》）
The general returns
The post-90s are really more likely to be "age anxious" than our post-80s, and I have several little sisters after the 90s, who will also nag that they are almost 30 years old, almost middle-aged, very panicked.
As for what panic is, in general, it still does not have the configuration that should be in accordance with the "standard template", such as the marriage and children you mentioned.
I don't want to mention whether the "standard template" is the ultimate destination for everyone, but there are definitely many people who have lived such a life, frankly, they are no longer in the stratosphere with you, you should go to find your stratosphere partner.
There are too many single women in 30 years old, how they live their lives is more valuable than your colleagues and friends, and more meaningful communication, do not use the "standard template" of another group to measure the living conditions of the group to which you belong.
I think you need some of the spiritual and emotional support of the stratosphere, and it is also recommended that you open your horizons, make more friends, and when you have more girls of similar age around you, you will see more samples or models.
It is indeed right to love yourself and rely on yourself, but how to love yourself and rely on yourself, there must always be some objects that can be copied.
Girls around 30 years old who are single and living happily are not a minority, and closer to them, you can see more clearly and concretely that happiness is not only achieved through marriage and children.
In the past year, I have met some female friends because of fitness and sports, although they do not communicate frequently, but they will occasionally get together and go out, everyone comes from different industries, has different life experiences, whether single or not, they are very energetic and have their own happiness.
We never define ourselves and each other by whether we are single or not and our age, these two dimensions are too single, we are alive, multi-faceted, or single or not and age geometry, are not an important influencing factor for happiness.
And these realizations, you need to feel it yourself, closed in your own cognitive logic and lifestyle, your age anxiety is difficult to be loosened, you need a new magnetic field, you need to find the stratosphere.
Finally, readers and friends who see this "follow-up" can also talk about their single life, come on, bright work! #Older ##Anxiety ##35了你焦虑吗 #
General Guo, master of psychology from Beijing Normal University, national second-level psychological counselor, popular author of Han Han [ONE], author of the book works "For Yourself You Are Still a Stranger" and "The World Prefers Self-Healing and Self-Pleasure".