The older I get, the more I think that no language can match real experiences.
What touched me was never flowery rhetoric, but the emotional resonance that flowed out between the delicate words, just like one heart awakening another heart, it was the involvement of emotion, it was nature.
"The Kite Chaser" is a very pure book, and the text translated by Li Jihong is like a soft and moving text flowing down from the tip of the heart.
Although it is a text description, the expression is three points, and my brain has long staged an emotional wave with the delicate text.
When he read that Hassan went to help Amir chase the kite, Hasson turned around, put his hands to his mouth, and shouted firmly with his eyes: "For you, a thousand times!" ”
I broke down and cried, not just because I was moved, but because a mixture of shocking, unbelievable emotions struck my heart, making me feel uncontrollable, and when I reacted, I was amazed, this is the first book that makes me so sad and happy.
Tears follow the contents of the book, ticking, pain and joy mixed throughout the reading time.
1
When sin leads to good deeds, that is true salvation
Amir was born into a wealthy family in Kabul's wealthy district, the son of a successful businessman, one of Kabul's most powerful men, and his mother a university teacher.
Hassan was the son of Ali, a servant of Amir's household.
Amir played with Hassan until he was 12 years old, and Hassan was particularly loyal, upright, and brave, and he was only concerned about Young Master Amir.
Amir is sensitive and cowardly, and his father often praises Hassan and behaves intimately with Hassan, which makes Amir very jealous.
Kite fighting is an ancient Afghan winter custom, a game that his father believes men should play, and Amir tries to win the kite fighting competition in exchange for his father's love and praise.
In the end, Amir won the championship with the help of Hassan.
It is a great honor to be able to recover the last kite that fell during the kite race, and people will hang it under the mantelpiece for guests to rejoice.
Hassan promised to chase the kite to prove Amir's record. However, hassan was intercepted by Assef and others on his way back.
Assef asks Hassan to give him the kite, but Hassan refuses, so Assef rapes Hassan at the end of the deserted trail.
All this was seen by Amir, who was hiding behind the wall, and because of cowardice Amir did not come forward.
The deep guilt in his heart made Amir face Hassan again, and after asking his father to fire Ali and Hassan fruitlessly, Amir made a move into the abyss.
Amir framed Hassan on the night of his 13th birthday, saying he stole his birthday present.
Hassan also understood that Amir saw everything, Hassan admitted to the theft, and finally Ali and Hassan left together.
Seeing this, I can't let go for a long time.
There was a kind of sadness, and there was a long silence except for tears. It's like judging your own soul and talking to it.
Kafka said, "A good book must be a sharp axe that can chop the frozen sea in joy."
It also makes me think: if you become more and more indifferent, you think you have grown up, but in fact, you have not, growing up should be gentle, gentle to the whole world, and maturity is a heart that warms, not cool.
Indeed, when you don't resent the people who hurt you, don't envy people who are better than you, don't complain about not getting them, have warmth in your eyes, and pursue in your heart, you can become gentle and not sharp.
I believe that the long road of self-atonement behind Amir is the true maturity.
"Many years have passed, and people say that old things can be buried, but I finally understand that this is wrong, because the past will climb up on its own.
Looking back, I realize that for the past twenty-six years, I have been peering into the deserted path. ”
The saddest thing in the world is to smash beautiful things to show people;
And the most moving thing happens to be that after the breakage, it is combined in another beautiful form and re-consummated.
2
The goodness you choose is the best redemption, and there is a way to be a good person
"We always like to find many reasons for ourselves to explain our cowardice, always deceiving ourselves into believing beautiful lies, always trying to escape the crimes we have committed.
But the truth is always that one day we have to face up to what sins we have to face and redeem our hearts. ”
Terry's Law says: Admitting mistakes is a person's greatest source of strength, because those who face up to mistakes will get the wrong and unexpected things.
Amir did not understand why his father was intimate with Hassan and gave him gifts, because Hassan was also his father's son, his half-brother.
Of course, this was not known to Amir until after Hassan's death.
Dad's actions toward Hassan are the guilt of not being able to fulfill his responsibilities as a father.
Amir was jealous, and Dad reached out and patted Hassan on the back, even putting his arm around his shoulder.
Amir was jealous, and Dad never forgot Hassan's birthday.
Amir is jealous, and his father praises Hassan for his bravery, hating that he is a coward who cannot stand up.
A series of guilt, jealousy, and shame slowly accumulate, like chronic drugs invading the bone, Amir from the last time he stood by and did not dare to stand up for Hassan, to plant a bribe frame, one mistake after another.
The beasts of the abyss are eager to annex Amir, who is struggling. This mentally twisted contest is undoubtedly a torture.
Once a person has made a mistake, will he continue to cover up his previous mistakes with more mistakes, or will he choose to bravely admit his mistakes and gain salvation? That's a problem.
Acknowledging the unseemly past and reaching a peaceful state of mind in the midst of painful tears is not something that many people can do.
Amir receives a call from his father's friend Rahim Khan, who turned out that after the Taliban occupied Kabul, Hassan and his wife were shot dead in the street because of racial discrimination.
Their son Sohrab went to an orphanage, and Rahim Khan wanted Amir to return to Kabul to save Sohrab.
Rahim Khan said: "Amir, there is a way to be a good man again. ”
By then, Sohrab had become a sexually assaulted dance boy, and it was a dance boy exclusive to Assef, and both father and son were raped by the same person. It's really infuriating and infinitely emotional.
When Sohrab is found, Assef tells Amir that he can take Sohrab with him, but that he must deal with some old rotten debts with him first. If Amir could leave alive, he could take Sohrab with him.
Assef put on a stainless steel fist and easily beat Amir, who had no experience in fighting.
The nail pierced into Amir's back, his body slammed into the wall, and the punch hit Amir's chin;
Amir's ribs were broken, and Amir's side face hit a corner of the TV cabinet, and it was another break;
The cracking sound sounded again, this time it was Amir's nose...
"For the first time since the winter of 1975, I felt at ease. I laughed when I was beaten up by Assef because I knew that somewhere hidden in the depths of my brain, I had been expecting something like this.
I had no skin — I didn't know how bad it was, I didn't know it later — but my heart disease was cured. Finally healed, I laughed. ”
Some netizens said: "When Amir was hit hard by Assef, he did not feel pain but felt happy, which is the pleasure of accepting punishment when a person is extremely guilty." I've experienced it firsthand. ”
I believe this is true.
Conscience is the bottom line of man, when we make mistakes and do bad things, there is always a voice in our hearts that is murmuring and shouting, challenging our conscience from time to time.
If we have the idea of correcting our mistakes in our hearts and putting them into action, this is the path to becoming good again.
When we are ashamed of stealing, guilty of being bad, remorseful of willfulness, uneasy because of vanity.
When we begin to reflect on our mistakes, when we make up for them in various ways, we are on the path of becoming good people.
Human nature is weak, and it is inevitable that it will be dominated by some unknowing mentality, and we may not be able to control these things consciously when we are young or adults. But that's human nature!
Perhaps most of us are Amir, wearing a mask of kindness in front of outsiders, but under the mask is cowardice and selfishness.
There is a saying that is very true, small evil and small good are more like most people, we are not willing to be evil people, but also do not want to be good old people.
Everyone has their own secret corners, it is not strange to make mistakes, it is not irreparable to do wrong things, and the most important thing is that if there is a way to become a good person again, can you bravely step on the ladder?
Author: Qin Qingqing, a member of the Intensive Reading Friends Association. I like all the poetry and painting, and I like chai rice oil and salt.