When I was young, my father had an alcoholic problem and was particularly grumpy.
He often drank too much at night, returned home drunk, dragged my sleeping mother and me out of bed, and talked to us loudly, talking about the blossoming of nuclear missiles from five thousand years in China, not talking until there was no rest.
The meek mother always endured in silence and never quarreled with her father.
When I was a child, I was always indignant about this, thinking that my mother was too cowardly to resist and protect myself. As someone who treats eating and sleeping as the two great pleasures of adult life, I grew up with a grudge against my father, who disturbed people's dreams. Therefore, my dream as a child was to be Ultraman, grow up to help my mother beat my father, and then sleep until dawn. But on the other hand, her mother never seemed to feel that her father was bullying her and hurting her. Even in the face of her drunken father, she always smiled.
A patient man like my mother, I haven't seen the second one. She unconditionally embraced all the shortcomings of my father and me, and for decades she took care of the family's affairs and took care of our family comfortably.
I used to be very incomprehensible, and I asked my mother why, but my mother always smiled and did not answer. It wasn't until I grew older that my mother told me the story of her youth.
Father and mother have always been classmates from elementary school to high school, and if the story of two people falling in love is written, it is a history of adolescent love struggle. When my mother was young, she was beautiful, well-off, had a good personality, could play the piano well, and grew up with no shortage of suitors around her (so I always suspected that I was still single and was raised). In his sophomore year of high school, a transfer student at the high school where his parents studied began a fanatical pursuit of his mother.
The mother said: "The transfer student is said to be from Hong Kong, the family is particularly rich, and often can come up with some novelties that we can't find all over the city." I asked, "So how did he pursue you?"
My mother blushed slightly, tilted her head and recalled: "It is to send me flowers and breakfast every day, to ride me home on a bicycle when I am out of school, to send me snacks and stationery that can only be bought in the big city...".
Transfer students are well versed in the art of war and know that both offense and defense are important to achieve their goals. So, after getting acquainted with the people in the class, he ran with some people to "warn" his father not to beat his mother.'
But my father asked the transfer student, 'Can you promise to marry her when you graduate?"' The transfer student looked at him like a neurotic: "Everyone is just playing, why is it so serious?" Besides, I gave her so many things, and she didn't suffer a loss!" My father shook his head and replied honestly and firmly, "I can't give her the flowers you give her every day, but I'm willing to give her everything I want."
I asked with concern, "What about later?"
My mother laughed and scolded me: "Of course, I married your father later, otherwise you came from somewhere!"
In the face of the sweet attack of the transfer students, the mother did not hesitate, until she learned what her father said from other people, and finally made up her mind.
Later, after the father married his mother, he fulfilled his promise and gave every penny he earned to his mother.
It was only after listening to this story that I gradually discovered my father's love for my mother from various details: he would always help her with housework after work, regardless of her tiredness; He would obediently hand over his income and wait for her to issue pocket money on a monthly basis; He will remember her birthday and every anniversary clearly; He would take good care of her when she was sick and look at the recipes on the Internet to cook for her: he would also quietly prepare red wine, snacks and roses for her on Valentine's day and Children's Day.....
Looking at the relationship between father and mother, I often think: this should be what it looks like to marry love. The so-called true love must not only exist in the birth and death of the male and female protagonists in the TV series, but also in the most ordinary chai rice oil and salt in life.
True love will be reflected in every aspect of life.
The lover's eyes cannot deceive people, just like when the mother mentions her father to others, her eyes are always full of smiles and warmth.
When we are young, we always wonder what "true love" is, in fact, true love is the same as the glyph of "love": two people support a home that shields the wind and rain with their hearts, which is love.
In the eyes of many people, love is like this: one day I was deeply attracted to some of your characteristics, so I "loved" you, I loved your beauty, loved your figure, loved your melancholy temperament when you sat in the shade of the tree and played guitar, loved you when you dunked on the basketball court.... However, people will eventually grow old, and those traits that were once loved by you will eventually be doomed by the glory of time. So, ah, I "love" all your glamorousness, often just for a moment; I "endure" all your shortcomings and am willing to accompany you to live a plain life, often a lifetime.
No delicate rose can keep love fresh, and no precious jewelry can freeze love. It is sincere to pluck out your lungs when you are in love, but only when the enthusiasm fades, it is the time to test true love. The person who gives you diamonds and roses doesn't mean they'll necessarily guard you for the rest of your life, and the people who send you pebbles and popcorn don't necessarily treat love as a child's play.
Therefore, the real "love" is not a romantic vow of the mountain and the sea, nor is it a deep confession under the moon before the flower, but both the elegance of being willing to play chess, painting, painting, poetry, and hops with you, and also willing to accompany you to live a life of chai rice oil salt sauce vinegar tea. Willing to accompany you to share the prosperity of the world when you are young, and willing to accompany you to the vegetable market to buy potatoes and sweet potatoes, is what true love should look like.
When you see an arrogant woman who was originally brilliant in dust, but one day suddenly willingly returned to mortal dust for another person, washing her hands and making soup, you will understand the preciousness of true love. In fact, the so-called love has never been one side blindly accommodating to the other, even sacrificing its own ideals. Instead, two people work together for the future, jointly promote each other to achieve their own life values, and become a better self. Believe me, true perfect love, there will be a win-win result. Because there is "love", there will be tolerance and patience.
If tomorrow your other flat suddenly stops moving forward with your well house and starts counting your seeds faster. Thinking of you. Say that he (can't stand you anymore), you don't have to worry all the time, anxiously reflecting on what you've done wrong. In fact, he just doesn't love you anymore.
Please don't be full of longing for a vigorous love, and don't hurt those who are willing to tolerate you in the name of love.
After all, it is not easy for people to live in the world, and no one needs to blindly accommodate anyone. After all, life is not a drama, - life is so short, instead of spending energy to maintain the hot love of you and me, you are the wind and I am the sand, it is better to fight together, for each other's future, and strive to become a better self.