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01
Recently, Wei Qing received a request from a visitor, and the following was privately handled and published publicly with the consent of the visitor himself: My husband and I are both 32 years old this year, my daughter is in kindergarten, and my son has just turned one year old.
Before, my husband and I were harmonious, happy, and understanding each other. After giving birth to my son, I learned that my husband cheated on me during my pregnancy and would go out every week to open a room with a third party.
After checking my husband's chat history and consumption records, I didn't know how much money he spent on a third party. After the fact that his cheating was exposed, I filed for divorce. He apologized profusely, did not admit it, would say that his cheating was just a moment of amusement, and then said that he loved her very much, and hoped that the three of us could be together well.
I found a third person, and the third person cried that she did not know that my husband had a family and would be separated from my husband. Indeed, they stopped for a while, and as a result, the third party took the initiative to contact my husband, saying that she could not live without my husband and could not stand the pain of breaking up.
Since then, they have been together, and I think about divorce with a cruel heart, but I am definitely more sad than I am now when I divorce, my parents divorced me and I was reluctant to let my two children go my way again. My husband is now forcing me to admit that he and the third party will live a threesome in the future, what should I do?
02
Analysis by The Counselor of The Marriage Counselor:
The reason why your husband is so unscrupulous is to see your ideas, know that you are not willing to divorce, know that you dare not divorce, know that you can make any compromises for the sake of two children. In your current predicament, it is actually because of your lack of voice and control in the family.
It can be seen that your husband does not want to divorce, or he prefers a threesome, then your status as the original wife, as the mother of his two children, will not be low in his heart. So how can the original wife gradually regain the right to speak and control from such an environment? The Victorian Marriage Counselor advises:
First, ask your husband to hand in your pay card and Alipay password
He is required to hand in his pay card and Alipay to control his monthly expenditure.
Second, ask him to come home on time after work
Whether it's for the family or for the kids, you need to get home on time and not snub the kids for the women out there. Let him take the child out to play and participate in various activities with the child.
When a man's finances are not so free, and he is tied to the home without much free time, and he spends a lot of energy on his children, no money, no time, no energy, the third party must not be able to bear it.
Third, seek the help of professionals in a timely manner
When you find that you are having a hard time in marriage, there are many ideas that cannot be realized, you must seek the help of professionals in time, dissuade a third party, save your cheating husband, rebuild trust, and repair your marriage.
03
Message from the Marriage Counseling Room:
Most of the women who encounter cheating but can't find a solution are often cowardly, and the means to rectify men's cheating behavior cannot be implemented quickly, and the consciousness of leaving enough size and backhand for themselves cannot be said to have.
Marriage is not an occasion for the weak to eat the strong, but if a man takes the initiative to turn marriage into an occasion for the weak to eat, the cowardly person will only have to give in.
In order not to lose too much, the original wife must stop the loss in time, strengthen herself, and let the marriage return to a state of happiness and balance.