Author/Child
Zhang Jiajia once wrote: There are many things I want to say to you, but I have never had the opportunity, I carry them through the four seasons, skimming the elevated highway, spread between the mountains and the sea. A flower blooming is a sentence, and a night is a sentence. Dusk begins to write, and dawn is countless title pages. The whole world put together a poem, I love you as the last line.
The word love has been sung and written by countless people, but very few people really say that they love a person's mentality and emotions.
Probably because different people, in the face of love and love in life, will always have different reactions and feelings.
Sometimes, when two people spend a long time together, love becomes a long-term companionship of chai rice oil and salt, and the daily cycle of food, clothing, shelter and transportation. In monotonous and repetitive days, life without freshness is always easy to ignore the most authentic love.
As everyone knows, true love is often in the inconspicuous place of life, and after all the romance and enthusiasm have been reduced, the edges and corners of love have begun to fully appear at this time.
Loving someone can sometimes not be inferred from common sense. For example, when a woman loves a man from the bottom of her heart, there are often 2 abnormalities.
The first anomaly: reluctance to spend his money
In the inherent concept of many people, especially girls, they always like to subconsciously use the matter of spending money to measure a person's feelings for themselves.
In fact, whether a person is willing to spend money for you and love you, although it is not an absolute causal relationship, to a certain extent, there must still be a certain connection.
Money, at all times, is the touchstone of the human heart. This touchstone shows too much to see. But in fact, just like many people want to prove love with money, when you fall in love with someone yourself, you will also make a fuss about the word money.
The most obvious manifestation is that when a woman falls in love with a boy, she is not willing to spend his money.
This unwillingness to spend his money is, first of all, a kind of empathy that stems from the heart. When you love someone, you must first have empathy. That is to say, when you have the other party in your heart, in many things, you will definitely stand in the other party's position to think about the problem.
First of all, we must understand: when a woman wants a man to spend money for herself, she must be thinking from her own position, and what she cares more about in her heart is her own feelings, seeing him spend money for herself, and the vanity and satisfaction in her heart will continue to rise to a certain extent.
However, when they also love each other deeply in their hearts, seeing each other spend money for themselves, they may subconsciously skip their feelings, and they will care about the fact that he spends money for themselves, what losses will be brought to him? To put it bluntly, most people are still ordinary people in life, and adults also understand the hardships of life and the difficulty of making money, but this emotion, although individuals understand that if they want to empathize with others, it will often become more difficult.
In other words, most people will feel sorry that it is not easy for them to earn money, but they will not be sad for others, unless they really put each other in their hearts, they will have a certain degree of empathy. Otherwise, people's instincts will definitely still think about themselves.
Therefore, when a girl really loves a boy, if the other party spends too much money on herself, they may be reluctant to do so, and they will also feel sorry for him and are not willing to spend too much of his money. However, this kind of love is not so common, and in most cases, people still love themselves more.
The second anomaly: there will be a mentality to protect him
Zhou Guoping once wrote in the book: Love is tolerance without preconditions, and heartache without reason.
Whether it is a boy or a girl, when you love someone from the bottom of your heart, you will inevitably feel sorry for the other party.
This kind of heartache has nothing to do with the ability and strength of the other party, even if this person is particularly strong in the eyes of outsiders, can handle everything, and does not need any protection, but in the eyes of the loved one, it is to be able to see its fragile side, and thus give birth to the desire to protect.
Especially for girls, in general, girls are relative to boys, due to their natural physical weakness, it is destined that girls play more protected roles in gender relations.
But in fact, no matter how weak a girl is, when she meets someone who really loves each other, she will give birth to armor in the softness, hoping that she can also use her personal ability to protect her lover in this intimate relationship.
When there is love, there is concern, and even sometimes, it may seem to be worried for no reason, almost nervous. Even if your lover is tougher than you, you still can't rest assured.
True love often goes beyond the mentality of wanting to seek shelter and harbor, but is more inclined to be able to be a port yourself.
This is the essence of love, a feeling that points to the weak. Of course, this weakness is certainly relative, not the weakness that outsiders really measure by strength.
In life, I have a friend who once faced her ex and had this kind of thought. Logically, her ex's current conditions are not bad, high education, good work, but because she is distressed by his childhood, she thinks that he has not been easy all the way to now, that is, she is particularly distressed about him, no matter what he thinks about, worried that he has not eaten enough, has not dressed warmly, and even loves him more than she loves herself.
Unfortunately, countless examples in life have also taught me that when one loves the other more than oneself, it is often the moment when the love of two people begins to die.
In fact, any love can not only rely on pay, but also need a certain game, pay attention to some strategies, if you just hope to be able to use well, with gentleness to touch each other, then when your pay is perceived by the other party, in addition to being rewarded, there is a great possibility, that is, the other party gradually began to slack in this kind of love, because your behavior is undoubtedly telling the other party: you do not need to do anything, I love you so much.
If this is the case, why should the other party go to great lengths to consolidate the love of two people with actions?
Then, in the end, maybe this love will become a one-man show for you alone, and as the cost increases, you can't get out at all, but the other party is becoming more and more comfortable.
Therefore, whether to love or to be loved, it is not a simple thing. Everyone in life, if you want to truly harvest good love, no matter in which link, you can't easily slack off, but should be taken seriously. Otherwise, it is possible to eventually lose touch with love.
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