Is it not a boy who is not good for girls, he is doomed to not be cherished? Of course not! A boy who is not cherished by girls has little to do with whether he is a scumbag or not, and whether he is good or not for girls. It is only related to his mode of getting along with girls, to put it bluntly, it is a matter of emotional intelligence and experience. Chestnuts summed up 4 kinds, the most cherished type of boy by girls, the boy who was recruited, must have a sense of crisis.
Sticky guy
There are some boys, girls ignore him, they act very anxious, every few minutes to send crazy messages to girls, they think this is a sign of concern, but in fact, the girls think in their hearts: how can he be so annoying. That's what girls really think when you're too clingy.
We often say not to expose our emotional needs, just to avoid being in a passive state in the relationship. And your stickiness and seconds back, from the beginning to put yourself in the inferior position of this relationship, in such a state, girls can not feel your carefulness and thoughtfulness, will only feel that you have nothing to do for a day.
After all, the girl's favorite concern is to remind her to bring an umbrella when she is busy, rather than paying attention to her diet and living all the time. You have to have your own life, old irons, don't like a person to put the focus of life on her. Speaking of which, isn't it that many old irons feel that they have been hit by an arrow in the knee, get up, and continue to look down!
Lemon essence boys
Believe me, no girl would like a possessive, jealous boy. She does not reply to your message for ten minutes, you are in a hurry, give her a phone message bombardment, eager to grasp her dynamics at any time 24 hours a day, who does not suffocate? Not only that, but you are also suspicious day by day, thinking that the boys around her are plotting against her, interfering with her normal interpersonal communication, and pointing fingers at her dressing.
You feel that this is a sign that you care about her, care about her, and be good to her, but in her opinion you are disrespectful to her, possessive and controlling too much. No matter how intimate the relationship needs to give each other space, no matter how much you like it, you have to leave room, you have to go or stay is your freedom, I am not moving.
Before being together, don't be too proactive, don't interfere too much in her life; after being together, also have confidence in yourself and this feeling, she has chosen you, you have to believe her, get along in a relaxed way for both parties, and leave breathing space.
Licking dog type boys
I once met such a boy who was unconditionally giving to girls, on call, and simply licking the ceiling of the dog world.
"She and I are the normal friends of the mode of getting along, she needs me to be on call, I like her, naturally I want to be good to her, listen to her." 」 Don't get me wrong, the last time I knelt down, it wasn't what she asked for, it was I who made her angry, I really don't know what to do to get her forgiveness, but fortunately, in the end she forgave me. ”
There's nothing wrong with liking someone who wants to be nice to her, but have your own principles and bottom lines. Otherwise the end will only be that she turns away and gives you a good guy card. Remember a saying: love yourself first, then love others. Only when you know how to love yourself can you have the ability to truly love others and then gain the love of others.
Selfless dedication type boy
Is there a lot of old iron in the early days of acquaintance began to buy and buy for girls. Buy her a bag today, buy her a necklace tomorrow, and respond to her needs. I thought to myself, I was so good to her, sooner or later she would be touched by me. Then you just think too much, and over time you become her mobile ATM. Still counting on her to be impressed by an ATM? Stop dreaming! You're just moving yourself. Just like when playing a game, you cherish the equipment you get for free? Or the equipment obtained by defeating the boss by your own operation? The answer is obvious.
For a girl, the effort you do not ask for in return is the equipment she gets for free, do you say that she will cherish it? Two people get along, the payment must come and go, it is possible to become friends, become lovers, otherwise you are just a person stupid and more money tool people.
Only when the girl has also paid for you emotionally or financially, she will have emotional fluctuations for you, will think about whether she likes you, and the relationship will have a chance to upgrade. So pay unilaterally, don't! Learn how to guide girls to pay for you when you give.
Write in the last words
Don't feel that "good men" are doomed to not be cherished, and many times it's just that you use the wrong way. And don't think that liking someone to the point of losing yourself is a great thing, that's just a kind of self-touching. The interaction between people must be based on mutual respect, losing yourself, giving up self-esteem, and finally becoming a person who even hates yourself, where will a girl cherish you?
Old irons, we have to stand up and love people in the right way to become our own shining boy, the girl's treasure boyfriend.
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Author | Yellow chestnut Ye
Consultant of the First Psychological Writing Group | Senior Emotional Mentor | Best-selling columnist on the internet