The TV series "Lady Hu Zhu" is currently on the air, and "Lang Huan" played by Dong Xuan is a mermaid.
Her smile reminds people of the "Snowflake Goddess Dragon" who once became popular in the streets and alleys. After experiencing the baptism of years and the destruction of reality, 42-year-old Dong Xuan's body temperament is still undiminished.
It can be seen that she also has a full and powerful core outside the play.
This core nourishes her, and on the screen, Dong Xuan is heroic and sassy, and is the "goddess of ancient wind";
In reality, Dong Xuanyi thin cloud sky, throwing 14 million to save the husband.
In the darkest moments of life, it is a rare and valuable quality to still fight for others.
What is even more valuable is that after years and years, she still retains this strength.
Not defeated by suffering, the state is getting better and better. It is as if life has infinite tension.
How did this power emerge?
Tohoku "Iron Lady"
Don't believe in tears
"When life makes me cry, I choose to laugh."
Dong Xuan participated in the "Starry Sky Speech" and hit this sentence on the background board. Since childhood, this has been her "creed".
She is a northeastern girl who inherits the indomitable spirit of the older generation of "breaking into the Kanto", although the family is well-off, she is very able to bear hardships. There is always a strong sense of not accepting defeat in his heart, and his words and deeds are more "tough" than his peers.
When learning to dance, the teacher uses a small stick to spur the students to see who is lazy, which is a stick. The girls in the same dormitory held their heads and cried because of this, but Dong Xuan never cried.
She especially likes the saying: "When the enemy makes us miserable, we laugh!" ”
With this spirit, Dong Xuan became the only actor admitted to the General Political Song and Dance Troupe in 10 years. Graduated and debuted, starred in the TV series "Snowflake Goddess Dragon" female No. 1, that heroic and refreshing spirit, let people unforgettable.
The fledgling Dong Xuan, like a vibrant little beast, bravely moving forward and full of energy, has created countless female heroine images that "dominate the screen".
If it were not for the encounter with Gao Yunxiang, her career would have been more brilliant. But this girl, who had never bowed her head and cried, bent her waist for love.
She put away the light, one second she was still happy in the jianghu, and the next second she washed her hands to make soup, and married Gao Yunxiang, who was far less famous than herself.
After marriage, her career plummeted, but she thought very clearly: "If you should get married, you should have a child."
Dong Xuan believes that a person who is truly powerful should be able to retract his strength freely, both strong and soft.
The jianghu woman "returns to life" and enjoys the sweetness. Not long after, this sweetness was shattered by a scandal that shocked China and Australia: Gao Yunxiang was accused of sexual assault in Australia.
The accusations of public opinion, the pressure of the husband to go to prison, the heavy responsibility of taking care of the family, the impact on the career... These, Dong Xuan could not have resisted.
She can divorce and draw a line, regardless of whether the scumbag is dead or alive, after all, the responsibility is not on her.
However, Dong Xuan carried it.
No one expected that she had such a huge amount of energy hidden in her body, and in a critical moment, she not only saved her husband, but also carried the whole family.
In order to make up for the sky-high bail fee of more than 14 million yuan, Dong Xuan did his best to sell clothes and daily necessities on second-hand websites, leaving no way back.
As a result, she suffered heavy losses: the company's assets were frozen, the film contract was terminated, and the assets were almost cleared.
Some people laughed at her for "forgiving the Sect Leader", but Dong Xuan said: I don't care, I just know that I am still the girl who is working hard and training alone in the practice room.
She is not giving a cheating husband to clean up the mess, but in the face of a trial in life, even if it is not her husband who is in trouble, but other people who value her, she will do the same.
For his own life, Dong Xuan is very sober: once he decides to use all his strength to do one thing, he will not think about anything else.
Life is tense, not always relaxed. When it comes to tension, try your best to be worthy of the long precipitation.
Heartbroken, desperately trying to survive the most painful blow in life, even if it costs a heavy price.
The reconstruction of life
It is the rebirth of the ruins
Louise Hay writes in The Reconstruction of Life:
We will really become what we think we are.
If we think we are good, we will be better; if we think we are bad, we will be worse. All the pain and pleasure in our lives is entirely self-inflicted.
Everything Dong Xuan did was actually to make himself better.
After Gao Yunxiang was successfully released on bail, Dong Xuan chose to divorce. The news detonated the hot search, many fans do not understand: you spent 14 million to save him, and now you don't want him, what do you want?
Figure what? Figure a rainy day over a sunny day.
The pouring rain of suffering soaked her life, and she chose to open the floodgates of life, allowing the power to flow out, and "holding an umbrella" for herself and others.
If you don't do this, you will be "bitten by a snake and afraid of the well rope for ten years", and your mind will be deeply afraid of this bad news, and your strength will be condensed.
If you want to get out of fear, you have to face the difficulties. As she said, "I'm the only person in the family who can carry things, and as for what will happen in the future, that's a matter for later." ”
In the book "The Sober Life", it is written:
Whether we are willing to come out of the accidents of the past is actually a choice.
When bad news occurs, people have two choices: one is to face the difficulties head-on, and the other is to escape the difficulties.
Many people will choose the latter, it is easier to escape, but the daily self-paralysis will wear down the vitality and make the strength stagnate.
If bad news happens again, we will be deeply numb to ourselves, we will be more powerless and painful, it is better to face the difficulties at the beginning, take the difficulties as one of the sources of vitality of life, to absorb and solve.
After facing the bad news, Dong Xuan's view of the future changed.
Compared to the previous "dead brace", she has a little more softness.
The airport took a photo with the fan, and the other person shook her hand and said, "You are the best, you have to hold on, everything will pass." ”
Dong Xuan, who never cried, cried for this kindness. She found:
There is not only love in life, but any kindness can warm people's hearts. People's hearts are like icebergs, and they melt when they meet spring.
"Only the beauty of the world is worth your tears." Dong Xuan sighed so much. She did her best to save her husband, not just for her husband, but for her life to be better and more beautiful.
Today, she has. Whether or not to continue the marriage in the future is no longer important.
"Smiling in the face of suffering, crying in the face of kindness" are actually two sides of the same life force.
The life force can be very hard or very soft. Like a person who always clenches his fists, learns to relax, maintain the fluidity of strength, and flexibly control the "soft and hard" changes, life will be expanded to a wider dimension.
Louise Hay, author of "The Reconstruction of Life", suffered from childhood sexual abuse, stepfather abuse, and husband cheating. He raised his children with hard work and was diagnosed with cancer.
The heavy blows of life were enough to make her surrender, but she chose to soften down, regain her vitality, not obsessed with fighting against the outside world, but to heal herself.
Whenever suffering occurs, people subconsciously think: Why did I encounter this unfortunate event? What went wrong? How can I fix this?
It is as if suffering is a disease that can be resolved by finding the cause. But Louise Hay discovered that suffering is cause and effect, a cycle, the crystallization of your past thoughts and thoughts.
To deny suffering is to deny oneself. Therefore, suffering is inevitable.
But if we change our view of suffering and adjust our focus, we will create a completely different future by changing the present.
So, Louise Hay says:
"In order to become a person who does not cry no matter what the blow, we must first learn to cry, learn to laugh, learn to feel the power of life, and then use this power flexibly to love ourselves." 」
Be yourself and others
The "umbrella" of life
Everyone who interacts with me, I hope that I am a plus in their lives, and that their lives can be enriched and colorful because of me. Your presence benefits the other person and you will be happy yourself, which is a very meaningful thing.
But on the other hand, if you wholeheartedly add points to the lives of others, but add a burden to yourself, everywhere you go, you have to think about others, put your own interests at the end, it is too tired.
Therefore, this scale should be just right.
Teacher Defen's words revealed the truth of "vitality":
There are collections and releases, there are Zhang Youchi, no matter how bad it is now, they can make life push in a good direction.
Holding an umbrella for others, the vitality will not be reduced, but will be increased; because as long as the strength is relaxed, we also hold the umbrella for ourselves.
Just like guarding a door full of light, we know when to open it and emit light; when to close the door, sedimentation accumulates.
You can give people roses, have a lingering fragrance in your hands, have an orderly inner world, and always add excitement and harvest to life.
So, how do you do it? Louise Hay proposes three exercises:
1. Recognize the exercise
For a month, say to yourself every day, "I recognize myself," "I have a lot of strengths," and "everything I have is valuable."
Every time I finish speaking, I concretize in my mind:
What have I done that deserves my approval? Even if it's just the little thing of not being late for work; what are my advantages? Be kind and sincere; where is my value? I did a favor to my colleagues...
Recognition practice allows us to see details that have been overlooked, love everything that is happening in front of us, and become more and more energetic in our hearts, just like storing water in a pool.
2. Fill in the sentence exercises
Write "I love myself, therefore..." on paper and fill in different contents. Like what:
I love myself, so I want to absorb nutrients well;
I love myself, so I can't have casual relationships;
I love myself, so I take responsibility for my future.
When you're done writing, paste this piece of paper in an easy-to-see place. As the paper becomes more and more pasted, we will become more and more loving to ourselves.
This is to inject vitality into the inner pool water, let the strength flow, when we want to play it, in order to have a harvest, a release, not blocked to the side.
3. Reassurance exercises
Close your eyes and imagine:
There is a 6-year-old child next to me, and that is the inner self. He's waiting for you to say something to him.
Go over and tell him that you will always be with her, that you will love him, that you will be with him no matter what happens. Then hug the little child and imagine you becoming one with him.
This exercise helps us think about:
What kind of way, the inner child prefers; how to face the suffering, the inner child is more comfortable; how to get through this pass, in order to make the inner child better and better.
Our answer is the tension of life.
Everyone has vitality, and some vitality will be lost over time;
Some life force will slowly settle down in self-awareness, and through deliberate practice, it will grow more full and flexible.
This power of fullness and flexibility is the source of happiness.
If you can afford it, you can put it down, and no matter how great happiness and unhappiness you can catch, people will live incomparably transparently.
If you are experiencing pain, keep this sentence in mind:
Life is not always hard, nor is it always soft. When it's hard, go all out; when it's soft, relax freely.
Full of tension, there is a collection and release, with the best appearance of vitality, we can embrace the happiness we most desire.
*This article is co-authored by the author and Zhang Defen Space's main writer group, if you need to reprint, please contact the authorization.
Planning | Li Yi
Edit | Ajay