Being able to make a man addicted shows that this woman must have a different charm, and they must be different from ordinary people when dealing with feelings.
Beauty can delight the eyes, but never maintain the same effect for a long time, not to mention that love is an emotion from the depths of the heart, it is a return to the source, so those things that stay on the surface naturally cannot achieve such profound results.
So, what is the charm of women who can make men love themselves to the point of addiction, so that the opposite sex can be so haunted?
Psychological research has shown that women who make men fall in love with addiction have one thing in common, that is, they all know how to swap roles.
First, the role swap effect is conducive to empathetic thinking
01) Marx once said something worth pondering: "The essence of man is not an abstraction inherent in a single person, but in its reality, it is the sum of all social relations." ”
In this strange world, each of us plays a different social role, and sometimes we will combine different social roles, but in specific interactions, we usually only present a specific role, and over time, because of the adaptation, we will be bored with our own unchanging role.
Therefore, when we engage in social interaction, we are not only accustomed to starting from our own specific roles and looking at our own attitudes and behaviors towards others, but also accustomed to self-centered thinking, bound by habitual thinking and subjective prejudices, thus triggering the tragedy of role conflicts one after another.
02), for example, when we eat spicy ourselves, we feel that everyone should be spicy and unhappy; for example, if we don't like to eat coriander ourselves, we feel that all the people in this world who like to eat coriander are very evil.
Therefore, if we can swap roles, we can think about it from each other's roles, so that we can compare our hearts to our hearts, push ourselves and others.
Then, many conflicts and contradictions caused by subjective biases can be solved, and this is the positive effect of the role replacement effect.
When we deal with the relationship between the sexes, if we always blindly deal with it according to our own ideas and do not consider each other's feelings, then it will breed some unnecessary contradictions.
On the contrary, if we can consider the problem from the perspective of a man, then some contradictions will not arise, and some problems will be solved.
Role swapping has a de-self effect
Many times, a large part of the reason why there is a contradiction between men and women when they get along is because one of them is too self-sufficient, no matter what he does, he only considers his own feelings and ignores the existence of the other person, so such feelings cannot bring others the experience of doing it, and the result is naturally to want to stay away.
And role swapping can make women consider from the perspective of men now, give men the warmth they want, role swapping can weaken the contradiction between the self and him, and then let the self continue to shrink, gradually tending to "guest me".
In this way, when we get along with men, we can take into account each other's feelings-
For example, when quarreling, you are no longer on top of each other, just waiting for the other party to apologize to yourself;
For example, no longer only know how to take, but in the process of enjoyment, can take into account the payment;
For example, re-energizing will not be cold and violent because the other party likes him, but will put the problem on the surface.
In this way, men will have positive emotional value in this relationship, and thus become more dependent on women spiritually.
Role swaps have a moving effect
Do you have such doubts when dealing with feelings?
Men feel that women are unreasonable and too much, and women feel that men do not love themselves and do not care about themselves.
The reason for this problem is that there is a role conflict between men and women when they get along.
Because the difference between men and women is not only reflected in the physiological structure, but also more reflected in the way of thinking, role conflicts, in fact, most of them are from the norms of the role to rational thinking and action, because the way of thinking is different, so the consideration of the problem and the results are naturally different.
And when we move in through role exchanges, we empathize, can share the emotions of others, and understand what the other person will consider when they experience the same thing.
In the process of role swapping, we will produce heart-to-heart emotional activities, it will cultivate our empathy, it will allow us to enter the other person's inner world, and then further open the heart.
In fact, all feelings can eventually show a good result, and they are inseparable from comparing hearts to hearts, pushing oneself and others, and feeling empathy.
Men are far more vulnerable than we think, so they need comfort, warmth and encouragement more.
When we really understand the charm of role swapping, when we really have the ability to empathize, then our love will go further in this warm mode.