Source: Xinjiang my home - sunny days
01
Ahhtam comes from Gale Village, Jiangbazi Township, Jiashi County, Kashgar Region, his father has been a carpenter for more than 20 years, with a pair of industrious and dexterous hands to make the family live a good life, the annual family income is more than 100,000 yuan, the local family economic conditions are very good.
In June last year, after the end of the college entrance examination, Ahtamu's father, Umailjan Saimat, asked Ahhtam to work on his own to earn tuition.
In the words of Umarjan Saimat, "Only when a man is diligent can his life get better and better." Young people, we must learn to endure hardships. ”
Mr. Ahtamu worked in his father's wood processing shop for more than two months, earning $7,000, which he used to pay for his first year of college and buy new clothes and groceries.
Today, Ahutam Umar is a first-year student at Xinjiang Applied Vocational and Technical College.
Ahmetam's sister, Khadir Ya Umar, a junior in the School of Computer Science at Soochow University, remembers her parents being diligent and learning to do what they could from an early age.
Although there is a lot of homework in college, whenever there is time, Cartier will find some part-time jobs on campus.
She completes her studies as much as she can from Monday to Friday, and works part-time on weekends, earning almost 1,300 yuan a month.
Kadirya usually arranges her time to be full, and as for the pocket money she earns, she mainly uses it to buy daily necessities, and occasionally travels to broaden her horizons.
1300 yuan is indeed not much in the eyes of many people, but it is the beginning of her self-sufficiency, and it is also the starting point for self-reliance and self-improvement.
Tutoring is the spiritual core of a family, which infects and nourishes people in the silent place of moisturizing things, and what kind of tutoring will shape what kind of people!
As the old saying goes, "He who is a parent does not suffer from unkindness, but from knowing love but not knowing how to teach." ”
Some time ago, a classmate who had not seen for many years borrowed money in the WeChat group and said that he wanted to do business, and the group that had been talking warmly turned out to be silent.
This classmate is famous for his delicious and lazy cooking. I remember when I was a child, when he was a child, the face wash he got up every day was made by his grandmother, and then his grandmother dressed, and his grandfather fed him, and the school bag that went to school was always carried by his grandfather.
This is especially true after middle school, every time a pile of smelly socks and dirty clothes are stuffed into a bag, and when the holidays are over, they are taken back to wash grandma.
The main thing is that I still love to borrow money, and when I was studying, I borrowed almost all my classmates over and over again.
I didn't expect that now I am more than 30 years old, still the same old way, I heard that I just divorced my wife, and the children of the family were awarded to my wife. There is no serious job, every day is just a fool, do not want to work hard, just want to borrow money to get rich.
The result is one such situation.
Compared with the two, have you ever thought that suffering can make a person strong. Only when one has experienced suffering can one attain practical and useful wisdom through the education of this school.
If you don't let your child suffer, the world will make him miserable!
02
The fastest way to destroy a child: to blindly enrich him materially.
Once dissected a news event with a friend who studied psychology.
A man in Shanghai asked his mother for 20,000 yuan, but his mother did not, so the man asked his mother to borrow it from his relatives, but his mother refused.
Who knows, the man directly threatened to drag his mother around, and beat his mother's head with his clothes.
The mother sat sadly and helplessly on the steps, with a desperate face.
What makes a man punch and kick his mother in broad daylight?
In a friend's words: "It is the mother's bottomless love, the bottomless material satisfaction." ”
Many parents, in the spirit of "no matter how bitter they are, they can't suffer their children", they are accustomed to children, and they will give what they want.
If other people's children have them, my children must also have them.
You can't let your child be looked down upon by others, and it's nothing to be tired of yourself.
Even if the monthly salary of 3,000 is bent and the back is bent, it is necessary to provide for the children to live the life of a rich family.
Parents have to think about buying a 50-yuan T-shirt for themselves, but the child is wearing a brand name, and a pair of shoes is hundreds of thousands.
Parents are reluctant to eat a decent box lunch outside, afraid to go to the hospital when they are sick, and spend money on their children is like splashing water, and a meal costs hundreds.
As a result, the poor family has raised a "rich second generation" who spends a lot of money and does not know the suffering of the world.
Excessive "enrichment" is precisely the greatest sorrow of this era.
When the child grows up, he is no longer a person who can be easily satisfied by dozens of pieces and hundreds of pieces, often tens of thousands of yuan, hundreds of thousands of yuan, at this time the parents have long been unable to support.
Children who are already accustomed to being satisfied, suddenly rejected by their parents, can not bear a huge blow in their hearts, in order to threaten their parents to give in, it is easier to choose an extreme way.
In recent years, there have been more and more such children.
A 15-year-old teenager in Jiangxi, because his father did not buy him a computer, actually jumped off a building and committed suicide, ending his young life.
Wang Jiajing, a 25-year-old Japanese student, demands 7,000 yuan a month from her mother for living expenses. His mother went around in debt to provide him with school, and when he couldn't get the money for a while, he brutally stabbed his mother 9 times.
Wealth has no bottom line, love has no limit, it will become a knife to kill children.
As Rousseau said:
"Do you know what method you can use to make your child an unfortunate person?" That is to be obedient to him. ”
Blindly enriching children materially is not love, it is the greatest harm.
03
You see Ahutam's father, although he has relatively rich living conditions in the remote southern Xinjiang countryside, he thinks of making his children suffer.
And the bottomless doting, but the more you love, the more cold your heart.
Children who are satisfied from an early age are accustomed to the life of opening their mouths with their own meals and their parents blindly accommodating, and they cannot feel the hardships of their parents, and they do not know how to be grateful.
In January 2021, Ms. Feng, a resident of the 44th Regiment of the Third Division of the Xinjiang Production and Construction Corps, and her husband worked hard to save 24,000 yuan.
Son Xiao Yang uses Ms. Feng's mobile phone to do online class homework every day, after taking online classes, he watches online live broadcasts and plays online games through his mobile phone, and later secretly binds his mother's bank card to the anchor to brush gifts and recharge to buy game skins.
At first, when I saw my mother and did not find it, I continued to increase the amount of "tipping" every day, and finally tipped the anchor with 24,000 yuan in the bank card.
Fortunately, after the unremitting efforts of the police and the hierarchical assessment and review of the network platform, Ms. Feng's 24,000 yuan was finally returned.
Coincidentally, not long ago, a 12-year-old girl in Turks County, Xinjiang, rewarded the anchor with more than 50,000 yuan and spent her grandmother's pension in 2 hours, thanks to the police's timely recovery.
It is said that the children of poor families have long been in charge, and 12-year-old children say that they are not big, and they are not small. Decades ago, a 12-year-old child was basically half the top pillar of the family.
ay! Children who do not understand things hurt their parents' hearts the most.
At this time, how deep the love is, how much the heart hurts.
I think of another piece of news.
In 2020, Zhao Guining of Muling, Heilongjiang, was admitted to Tsinghua University with a high score of 691 points.
Zhao Guining's family conditions were not very good, and he knew that after being admitted to Tsinghua, he had not yet enjoyed the joy and ease of a few days, so he rushed to the construction site to work.
Home in the countryside, parents are older, Zhao Guining said: "Parents are not easy, now that the college entrance examination is over, I will rely on my own actions to reduce the burden on my parents." ”
After the person in charge of the construction site knew about his situation, he added another 50 yuan a day.
The work on the construction site is hard and tiring, which is not difficult for a child who has just graduated, but for the Zhao Guining family, who are about to face various expenses for college, a day's salary can solve the urgent need.
Seeing this, my heart is sad, but also a kind of admiration and touch, such a hard work of the child deserves all of our encouragement and admiration.
Some children are insensitive to their parents' efforts and suffering, while others know how to feel sorry for their parents and are willing to share them for their parents.
For parents, having such a responsible and motivated child is the greatest comfort in life.
The greatest joy of parents is not that their children have become instruments, but that children have finally read themselves.
04
The British documentary "Rich Brother And Poor Brother" tells the true story of a pair of brothers with a mother and a mother, but their life encounters are very different.
The rich brother lives in a townhouse and is an entrepreneur worth tens of millions.
The younger brother has no place to live, drives a truck, and lives a life of frugality by doing odd jobs.
From childhood, the environment of two people is not much different, living in the same house, eating the same food, receiving the same education, having the same parents...
The only difference is that until the age of 20, the younger brother has been eating "sugar", but the older brother is always suffering.
While the younger brother was hiding in the arms of his parents, the older brother helped others walk the dog, repair the lawn, deliver newspapers, and work in the supermarket.
When the younger brother was idle and ran into trouble, the older brother had already left home to start a business, and he had earned the first pot of gold in his life through hardships.
The younger brother lives in a sweet honeypot, enjoys the spoiling of his parents, and grows up to become a person who does everything "three days of fishing and two days of drying nets".
Under the tempering of life again and again, my brother learned how to live and how to behave in the world.
American child mental health experts have said: "People who have a very happy childhood often have unfortunate adulthood." ”
Loving children is a matter of human nature. But no matter how much you love your child, you can't walk for him forever, nor can you hold him in the palm of your hand for a lifetime, doting on him to death.
Education expert Makarenko said: "Giving everything to the child, sacrificing everything, even sacrificing one's own happiness, is the most terrible gift that parents give to their children." ”
The pain that should be eaten by the child cannot be saved at all, and here I want to give praise to Ahutam's father.
After all, society is not the parents of children, and children who do not suffer hardships will suffer even more when they become adults.
For their own sake, for the sake of their children, for the sake of society, let the children suffer a little!
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