Author | Song Song Gloria
A section of the educational concept of Dou Guimei, principal of Tsinghua Affiliated Primary School, has recently caught fire!
Principal Dou said:
"A child needs sugar, calcium, and salt at the same time.
None of these three things can be left behind in education. ”
What are these three things?
Sugar is caring, encouraging, and building safety.
Calcium is self-reliance, self-reliance, and cultivates growth thinking.
That salt, on the other hand, confronts setbacks and sufferings.
With "love and freedom" sugar
Accepting the "Bear Behavior" of Children
Many parents feel that "there are bear babies at home",
Tell him to go east, he has to go west.
These interactions,
It can always arouse new anger points for parents.
In fact, it is the carelessness of our parents.
Many times,
the child's "abnormal performance",
In fact, it was the "sensitive period" in his growth process.
And these sensitive periods,
It is precisely the need for "love and freedom" to accept.
0-2 years old is a sensitive period for children to explore the world.
The book Catching Sensitive Periods in Children states:
At this stage,
They mainly feel the world through organs such as vision, mouth, and hands.
For example, babies especially like to eat hands,
Eat everything you can get,
Parents think it's unhygienic,
But in fact, the child is in the "oral sensitivity period".
At this stage,
The child uses his mouth to awaken other parts of the body,
and use it to understand the outer world,
If the parents inadvertently interrupt,
Children are prone to problems such as smoking addiction after they become adults.
2-3 years old is a sensitive period for children to connect with the world.
The child slowly realizes the existence of "I",
Begin to distinguish between you and me,
Self-awareness arises,
They love to say:
"No, no, no".
Often combined with the sensitive period of "property rights awareness",
Also love to say:
"It's mine, mine, mine."
The child has entered the sensitive period of "stubbornness" and "order",
This is a "terrible two-year-old" who cries when he doesn't agree.
This is also the most painful stage for parents,
Because
The child suddenly became "bear" angry to death.
But for children,
It's also a very hard learning phase.
He realized for the first time,
It turns out that "I" is "me".
Through these sensitive periods,
Only then can the child feel the presence of "I".
Have the basic ability to start and link to the outside world.
3-6 years old,
The child's self-perception is basically formed,
There will be a sensitive period of marriage.
The thought "I'm going to marry my mother" came up.
The child will constantly "confirm the identity",
Worship an "idol",
Accumulate personality traits from future adulthood.
Children also experience periods of aesthetic sensitivity.
I care a lot about what I wear.
Constantly confirm "who I am".
At the same time, at this stage,
It is also a good stage to discover and cultivate children's talents.
If parents can find out in time the needs of their children at this stage,
Targeted training, the learning effect can be multiplied with half the effort.
9-12 years old,
The child's sense of morality begins to form,
Begin to consciously pick out external relationships.
At this stage the child begins to be independent,
Like to diplomatic friends,
It also began to "alienate" parents.
If the parents who have not handled the parent-child relationship well in the early stage,
At this stage, it is easy to meet the child's "troublesome adolescence".
After the age of 12,
The child's ego is stronger,
There will be an intrinsic motivation to leave parents and family,
Parental support and protection is particularly important.
Children's expert Sun Ruixue made it clear:
"Only when a child is in an environment of love and freedom can there be a sensitive period."
If parents can use "sugar" to guide their children through each sensitive period,
The child's body and mind can take a big step forward,
Thus growing into a child with a sense of security.
With calcium that "gives strength"
Cultivate children's growth thinking
Parents in addition to giving their children sugar,
It is also necessary to give the child calcium supplement in time,
Cultivate children's strong character of "lifelong growth".
Writer Zhang Meng is a person who has been very disciplined since childhood to fight for his dreams.
Talking about why, she said:
"After dinner at our house,
There is half an hour of group reading time.
Each person is then annotated with a different color pen.
Ten minutes or so of reflection,
Combine with your own work or study.
And then I explained, and at first I didn't read it well.
Mom and Dad never laughed at me. ”
Until now,
Zhang Meng also maintains a good habit of reading at any time.
This subtle fixed reading habit,
It has cultivated Zhang Meng's self-discipline and active input ability.
And the knowledge input of "reading thousands of books, walking thousands of miles",
It also cultivates her "growth mindset" very well.
In fact
It is also the quality that we should cultivate the formation of children,
That's "growth mindset."
Lifelong Growth argues that:
"People with fixed mindsets,
Will blame fate for all successes and failures.
Abandon personal efforts and wait to obey the arrangement.
But growth mindset people,
will think that my fate is up to me,
As long as you work hard and just study, you can get new gains. ”
Obviously,
Rather than cultivating English and other hobbies outside of languages,
Let children have a growth mindset,
It is the best gift for children to cope with the storms of a lifetime.
Parents take their children to read together,
Absorb new knowledge, justify new knowledge,
The child is also in the environment of reading and insight,
Build your own "growth-oriented" life of continuous learning and falling in love with the initiative.
Use the salt of "facing setbacks head-on"
Guide your child to move forward for their dreams
Many parents have misunderstandings.
After having children,
Let the child realize the unfinished dream of the parents.
The best way for children to grow up,
It's the way he wants it to be.
And the best way for parents to educate,
It's whenever and wherever it is.
All strive to pursue their dreams,
Lead by example and tell your child:
Striving to pursue your dream life is the happiest.
This is also after parents give their children sugar and calcium,
The salt that should be added to children is the dream-chasing heart that dares to face setbacks.
A meaningful life,
It's that we do our best for our dreams.
In "Galaxy Tuition Class",
The little boy's "goals" are:
"Peking University, my mother said."
What will life be like after Peking University?
Children are confused.
After all, who is passionate when they pursue someone else's dream?
Until the father played by Deng Chao leads the child to find his dream:
"Tsinghua Peking University is just a process, not an end."
"Life is like archery,
Dreams are like arrow targets,
If you can't even find the arrow target,
What's the point of you pulling a bow every day? ”
There are many paths to success,
There are many kinds of good life,
But find your most desired dream,
and continue to work hard for it,
This is the most important quality that parents should teach their children.
Parents hand in hand, sugar calcium salt is indispensable
Some dads don't care about their children.
I often hear things like this:
"Dad is responsible for earning money to support the family, and mom is responsible for nurturing children to become talented."
But the growth of the child,
It would have required Mom and Dad to work together.
Raising Boys argues that:
Mothers are more caring and can build a warm accumulation of love for boys.
Dad is more involved and can guide boys to see the world like men.
Raising Girls argues that:
Mom is the most influential character in a girl's life.
The father, on the other hand, gives the girl a sense of security.
Simply put, the growth of a child requires the joint parenting of parents.
Without mom's love,
It's like a seed lacking warm soil.
Without Daddy's love,
It's like a sapling that lacks the sunshine.
Life is long, the sky is high and the sea is wide,
May we all be able to use our children when they need it,
Accumulate for him the ability to fly;
More when he chases his dreams,
Send him the most rambling free sky.
—— End ——
Author: Song Song Gloria, Master of Rhetoric, former executive of state-owned enterprises, is now a full-time mother. The truth of marriage and love in 818, talk about the feelings of parenting and self-rearing. Some of the pictures are from the Internet, and the copyright belongs to the original author.