Reality tells us that domestic violence is only zero or countless times.
Many women for the so-called home, for the sake of fame, or for the sake of children, endure and endure, always give themselves an indefinite expectation, a reverie that only they will give themselves, that is: "Stay up and stay up will pass." ”
However, when he waited for himself to exhaust himself, he suddenly realized that he was too naïve to expect a "beast" to be gentle with him.
Women's tolerance of domestic violence has become the capital of some men, and when they find that they can no longer control each other as before, they will either become more violent or will commit acts of dehumanization to maintain their narrow selfishness and spiritual "dominance".
On the night of September 14, 2020, a girl affectionately called "Ram" by netizens, as usual, was interacting with fans live, at this moment, a black shadow suddenly came out, came to her side, indisputably poured a barrel of gasoline straight down from her head, and then lit it with fire, and suddenly Ram's whole body was wrapped in fire, tearing his heart and lungs, accompanied by screams, echoing throughout the house.
The arsonist is called Tang Lu, is Ram's ex-husband, his extreme behavior, so many people can not help but sigh, should be in each other, the couple in the same boat, what kind of hatred, let this man actually do such a cruel act?
When we peek along the emotional line between Ram and Tang Lu, we will find that this dangerous hidden danger was buried at the beginning, and from Ram's unfortunate encounter, what kind of vigilance can we give us?
01
Unhappy marriage
"Ram", whose real name is Amuchu, is a native of Maiska Village, Guanyinqiao Town, Jinchuan County, Aba Prefecture, and has an older sister who, by chance, fell in love with another man named Tanglu from Ergali Village, Ergali Township, and registered their marriage with the two in September 2009.
After marriage, they had two children, the eldest son was born on November 14, 2009, the younger son was born on November 16, 2017, Ram thought he was lucky to find a Prince Charming, but the married husband, judged two, completely exposed his inner inferiority.
Tang Lu was extremely selfish, only caring about his own food, drink and fun all day long, completely disregarding the family, in fact, at the time when the eldest son was born, as long as there was a slight disobedience, he would immediately punch and kick Ram. It wasn't until Ram later became pregnant with the second brother that his temper eased up a little, but when the second was born, his original ugly face was revealed again.
After more than ten years of marriage, Ram was not only full of wounds, but also filled with wounds that could not be healed. As a last resort, on March 9, 2020, he and her husband Tang Lu went to the local civil affairs bureau to go through divorce procedures.
Ram originally thought that divorced, her life will be quiet from then on, but as you think, Tang Lu will come to the door every day to "make trouble", from time to time with a deceitful tone to tell Ram that he will change, no longer beat her like before, will be good to her, under Tang Lu's repeated sugar-coated shells, looking at the two children's Ram, her heart softened, in order to give the child a complete home, she compromised, innocently believed Tang Lu's sweet words. A few days later, on March 24, the two parties went through the formalities of remarriage.
But the good times did not last long, Tang Lu's selfish and cruel nature was revealed again, and Ram's kindness and tolerance made Tang Lu's domestic violence more and more severe, even to the point of rampant. I don't know how many times she was alone in the room crying, and she really couldn't stand a man like Tang Lu.
Until May 18, 2020, Ram filed a divorce lawsuit with the Jinchuan County People's Court, accusing Tang Lu of repeated domestic violence and not being responsible for the children, and on June 24, after court mediation, the two parties voluntarily agreed to divorce.
After the second divorce, Tang Lu also thought that as long as he did not let go of the entanglement of his dead face, the Ram who, in his opinion, how to beat and how to bully, would still remarry himself. So he repeated the same trick, constantly pestering her, and soft and hard, and released extreme harsh words to her: "If you don't remarry, one day I will kill you and the child!" ”
This time, Ram no longer gave Tang Lu any chance, she told him with her actions that nothing was possible, she no longer tolerated domestic violence, endured the obscenity of this cold-blooded man.
Ram is just a typical example of a woman who has suffered domestic violence, abused in the family for a long time, for the sake of children, endure the husband's misdeeds again and again, and give the husband a reverie that can cover the sky with one hand, in the heart of this kind of domestic violence man, as long as the outside is not smooth, the white eyes of others, and the slight unhappiness in the heart can be vented on the wife without any care.
This phenomenon, especially in remote areas, not only men, but even women have been influenced by the family and the surrounding culture since childhood, and they feel humble as a woman from the heart, and for men's domestic violence, there is a psychology that can be tolerated, which further promotes the behavior of the other party.
On the other hand, the reason why some women tolerate it again and again is that they want to give their children a complete home, and they know that outsiders always have a different vision of children from single-parent families. I don't know, bad domestic violence is far more influential than these on a child's life.
Therefore, in the face of domestic violence, do not hold any luck and illusions, domestic violence as long as there is the first time, there will be countless times, and what we have to do is to stop the loss in time, do not waste their youth on unnecessary people.
Although single-parent families are the last resort to choose the road, reality also tells us that many celebrities are also born in single-parent families, so children have a good living environment, which is the main thing.
02
Lively, cheerful, tenacious woman
Ram is a post-90s girl, cheerful, able to sing and dance, is a model of many inspirational girls, originally she could choose to go out to work like most girls, to explore the vast world, but in order to take care of her elderly parents and two children, she resolutely stayed in the mountains.
On weekdays, she has been following her father up the mountain to dig up medicine for some income to supplement the family, and then came into contact with Douyin, and from 2018 onwards, she tried to release her own short videos, she recorded the weekday farm work, laundry and cooking, chopping wood and carrying water with the camera, and every time she screened, she would wear a local unique national costume.
Life's boring and distressing, did not suppress the yearning for life in her heart, in the video, under the busy figure, she will also from time to time for netizens to come to an impromptu dance, perhaps growing up in the mountains, her simple kindness, that innocence touches every netizen.
Many netizens said that seeing Ram, the pressure of life will disappear in a day, her optimism about life affects each of us, from her mouth, it is all positive energy, the vision of life, there is no complaint and sorrow.
Gradually, this filial girl, the great mother, infected every fan, and her fans on Douyin became more and more, accumulating nearly 2.9 million likes and becoming an Internet celebrity full of positive energy. Fans affectionately call her "Black Girl Ram".
However, just when Ram was getting more and more attention, at about 8:30 p.m. on September 14, 2020, ex-husband Tang Lu, because He had been repeatedly refused to remarry by Ram, came to Ram's father's house, poured gasoline on Ram who was broadcasting live on the kitchen network, lit a fire, and then fled the scene of the crime.
A fire destroyed the optimistic, positive girl, severely burned Ram, the whole body burn area reached more than ninety percent, life hanging on the line, at this moment, netizens have donated money for this kind girl, in one day, the payment reached more than one million yuan, which is a tug-of-war with the god of death.
For the love donation of netizens across the country, Ram's father publicly expressed his gratitude:
"I'm really sorry to appear in everyone's circle of friends in this way, and I would like to thank everyone for reading my help letter and giving me assistance in my busy schedule."
Lying on the hospital bed, Ram was covered in bandages, with tubes everywhere, her hands curled up, and from the media photos, her figure could be seen in the bed, but it was dark, and the hospital diagnosis showed that Ram belonged to severe burns, hypovolemic shock, severe dehydration and multi-organ dysfunction syndrome. In the end, she was unable to take her life back from the hands of the god of death.
Ram's father cried and told the media:
"My beloved daughter is a kind and filial girl, I failed to protect her, even on the night of the crime, my daughter was in a state of burning, screaming in pain to let me run." 」
In front of a girl with positive energy like Ram, on the other hand, there is a demon in human skin, according to Ram's family, her ex-husband Tang Lu is an extremely selfish person, full of thoughts about how to make himself happy for himself, completely disregarding the family. He not only abused Ram, but even injured her sister Dolma, and meeting such a man is a nightmare for all girls.
It can be imagined that Ram is suffering every day and every year in front of such a man, where there is any hope, what awaits her can only be despair, divorce is also her helpless move. I didn't expect that in the end, Tang Lu could do such an inferior deed.
03
The judgment of sin
On October 14, 2021, the "Ram case" was heard in the first instance at the Wenchuan County People's Court in Aba Prefecture, Sichuan Province, and the Intermediate People's Court of Aba Prefecture tried it in public and pronounced the verdict in court.
After trial, the court held that the defendant Tang Lu's act of causing the death of Amuchu (the screen name "Ram") had constituted the crime of intentional homicide, and that the criminal means were extremely cruel, the social impact was extremely bad, and the crime was extremely serious, and should be severely punished according to law, sentenced to death, and deprived of political rights for life; Compensation for material damage caused by the criminal act to the plaintiff in the attached civil action.
After the first-instance judgment was pronounced, defendant Tang Lu appealed, and on December 28, 2021, the second-instance trial of the case of "Ram" being burned to death by her ex-husband was held in Aba Tibetan and Qiang Autonomous Prefecture in Sichuan Province, but the verdict was not pronounced in court.
04
The current situation of the "Ram" family after leaving
Before the incident, after Ram filed a divorce lawsuit with the court, the local court conducted mediation, and after the divorce, he complied with the wishes of the children, that is, he was raised by the Tang Lu family, and Ram did not need to pay maintenance expenses, but had the right to visit.
After the incident, the two children continue to be jointly raised by Tang Lu's parents, the eldest son is currently in middle school, and the younger son is in kindergarten, so far, The Ram family has not appealed to the court to change the custody.
Ram's Douyin number is now managed by his sister, and since the burned-out house can no longer be occupied, the local civil affairs bureau has temporarily provided two rooms in the Guanyin Bridge Elderly Home to Ram's father, Sanlang Jia. The eldest son is now covered by the unsupported child protection, and has a monthly living allowance of 900 yuan.
Although Ram has passed away, but this case, but also to the majority of women and many families to ponder and wake up, for domestic violence, no matter which party, there should be a zero-tolerance attitude, as an individual to vigorously oppose, the courage to stand up, as the whole society should also popularize the sense of mutual respect of the family.
Only when the whole society is full of positive energy, those remaining "demons" do not dare to act arbitrarily with great fanfare, and those who trample on other people's lives at will will also be judged by the law.
What do you think about the "Ram case"?