There is a saying:
"A woman's pattern is very important, the pattern is big, life is smooth."
A woman with a small pattern is confined to troubles and trifles all day, and her days will only get worse and worse.
Women with a big pattern choose to use wisdom to manage their lives in order to see the bigger world.
In the final analysis, a woman's blessing is often the result of her own choices.
The bigger the pattern, the deeper the blessing.
A woman with a big pattern, the past is not entangled, and the present does not live up to herself
I have seen a question that asks: "What is the source of life's pain?" ”
There is an answer that is very wise: "Can't forget, can't put down, can't afford to lose." ”
Many women, all their lives, are limited by themselves.
Once the past becomes a prison cell trapped in oneself, all the future is lightless.
In the movie "Angel Amelie", there is a beautiful landlady whose husband died in an air crash.
In the decades that followed, she wept bitterly at the image of her husband, and immersed herself in grief all day.
Outsiders think that she has a deep affection for her husband, so she will be so obsessed.
However, this is not the case, and the husband flew back to divorce her because of the empathy.
Her husband's betrayal was like a barb deep in the atrium of her heart, leaving her tormented for countless nights that followed, unable to get out of the shadows.
The biggest internal friction is to cling to the past.
Blindly entangled with the past is not good for the present.
The larger the pattern of a person, the less entangled he will be with the past.
Just like The Shanghai Beach Magnate Miss Sheng Aiyi, at the age of 17, she fell in love with english teacher Song Ziwen at the age of 17.
However, Because the Song family is not high, Sheng Mu strongly opposes this relationship, and also uses the excuse to transfer away from Song Ziwen and forcibly separate the two.
Before parting, Sheng Aiyi gave Song Ziwen the golden leaf symbolizing the promise of love and instructed him:
"I'll keep waiting for you to come back."
In the best years, she waited alone for seven years, and finally did not expect to love her, but only waited until she failed.
Willing to die, the years are no more, and everyone thinks that she will not be willing.
However, after a serious illness, she decided to let go and never dwell on it.
Later, when Song Ziwen wanted to continue the frontier, she also left indifferently.
In the time that followed, she always maintained an attitude: no review, no contact, no dialogue.
Because of this, she was able to enter the next marriage calmly and founded the "First Music House in the Far East" Paramount, maintaining the style of everyone's bridesmaids until her death.
Not pestering seems to be sparing others, but in fact it is letting go of yourself.
The more entangled, the more time will be wasted, the greater the sunk cost, and the last to be injured is yourself.
Once read a sentence:
"Many times, we have to accept the sudden loss in this world, the spilled milk, the lost wallet, the separated lover, the broken friendship.
If we lose everything, we will stop pestering, although there are regrets, but we always try to embrace the new life. ”
Years are a trip that never goes back, good or bad, it's all scenery.
Life is too short, and those who miss it should stop nostalgic, and let the past go.
Not pestering is a woman's best way to live.
Women with big patterns, big things are not confused, and small things are not calculated
There are two kinds of women in the world who are destined to live a bad life:
One is the person who encounters a big thing, is in a hurry and panics, and has no idea;
The other is a person who is slightly out of line with his own wishes, and is on the line and has no clarity.
"If there is no height in life, all you see is a problem; if there is no pattern in life, all the entanglements are trivial."
Women in the real big picture will never worry about small things, but show wisdom in meaningful big things.
As Sanmao said:
"Think less about some things, worry less about the things in your heart, people naturally become calmer, and it is easier to be happy."
If we spend all our energy on trivial matters, we will not have time to improve ourselves.
Wu Jianxiong is such a wise woman, she is known as the "Marie Curie of the East" and the first female president in the history of the American Physical Society.
In 1956, Yang Zhenning and Li Zhengdao doubted the correctness of the "cosmic conservation law" recognized by the scientific community at that time, and boldly put forward the idea of "cosmic non-conservation law", but lacked sufficient experimental support.
Because experiments are so difficult and challenging, many scientists are reluctant to waste their time. In order to verify the correctness of their predictions, Yang and Li finally turned to physicist Wu Jianxiong.
Wu Jianxiong worked tirelessly to run experiments in laboratories in New York and Washington, D.C., sleeping only three or four hours a day, and his spirit was also in a state of high tension.
Finally, Wu Jianxiong experienced many arduous and complex experiments to confirm Yang and Li's ideas, which caused a huge sensation in the physics community at that time.
For some reason, she failed to win the Nobel Prize in Physics with Yang Zhenning and Li Zhengdao.
Many people say that at least half of this award is the credit of Wu Jianxiong, but she does not care about fame and fortune:
"I've never done research to win an award."
After that, she never mentioned the matter, nor did she consider whether it was a grudge or not, but maintained a good relationship with Yang and Li and continued to devote herself to the next research.
Wu Jianxiong knows how to put the overall situation first, watching Chinese gain a foothold in physics research, which is the pride of the country, and she is happy in her heart.
It is precisely because of this large pattern that she has almost all the prizes in the field of physics except the Nobel Prize.
In 2021, the U.S. Postal Service issued a permanent stamp honoring physicist Wu Jianxiong, and only a few physicists who have won this honor are Einstein and Fermi, which is the pride of Chinese people around the world.
Big things are not confused, and they need a mature mind that discerns right from wrong;
Small things are not calculated, and you need to have a free and cheerful open mind.
A woman who lives well, not because she is never troubled and trifled, but because she:
In the face of big things, we can be calm, we will ignore small things, and we can focus on the overall situation in order to open up the road in every mountain and build bridges in the water.
This is the wise woman of the big picture.
Women with big patterns can enjoy the best and can bear the worst
There is a question on Zhihu: "Why can some women meet everything they meet lovely, and any kind of life can be turned into poetry?" ”
The highest praise replied:
"Because they can enjoy the best and they can bear the worst."
There is a kind of woman, no matter what kind of life she is given, she can live a good life.
Zhang Zuolin's wife Zhang Shouyi is such a woman, she is born of illegitimate children, mixed in the theater when she was a child, but she was deeply loved by Zhang Zuolin and became the first female head of the Marshal's Mansion.
Although Zhang Shouyi had a bumpy life, when he grew up, he knew how to be wise and decisive, and thus became Zhang Zuolin's xiannai assistant and followed him to attend various activities.
This was the most glorious moment of her life, Zhang Zuolin called affectionately to a "little fifth child", and specially built a two-story building for her in the Marshal's Mansion, and also bought two villas for her.
She did not pamper and be proud, but brought everyone in the family to a new house, and the family got along harmoniously.
People's lives are not always beautiful scenery, and there will always be rainstorms and snowstorms.
Women who can enjoy the best are often able to stay in danger in the worst situations.
In the Huanggutun incident, Zhang Zuolin's special train was bombed, and when he died of exhaustion, the female relatives only cried and cried, and Zhang Mansion was in a mess.
When her husband died, Zhang Shouyi was naturally heartbroken, but reason told her that at this time, the Grand Marshal's Mansion needed a main backbone to stabilize the overall situation.
Once the Japanese knew that Zhang Zuolin was dead, their iron hooves would surely quickly send troops to occupy the northeast.
Zhang Shouyi endured the grief, first calmly and calmly stopping the family's crying, and then published the news in the press that her husband had returned safely.
In order not to make people suspicious, she spread the news that the marshal was not seriously injured, and arranged for military doctors to enter and leave the Zhang Mansion every day to let the subordinates deliver meals normally.
Zhang Shouyi, who had lost his husband, hid his tears and smiled, and in the face of the interview of the tricky reporter, he did not show any flaws, and even dressed up beautifully and talked with the Japanese minister's wife, and also opened champagne to congratulate the grand marshal on the murder of Ji.
The lights in the Marshal's Mansion were bright, and there was a faint smell of soup medicine, and even the people in zhang mansion felt as if Zhang Zuolin was still alive.
Such a woman, in the worst situation, calmly coped with the change, and held out until Zhang Xueliang returned to Shenyang, before officially mourning for Zhang Zuolin, and thus avoiding the Japanese army from taking the opportunity to provoke a war.
A woman with a real big pattern, even if she falls from a high place with unlimited scenery to the bottom of the dark valley, will burst out of different energies.
As Bi Shumin said:
"There is a certain proportion of good days and bad days, and women with real big patterns can look at the scenery from the high points of life, and they can also work hard at the lows."
When you are proud, look down, and look away when you are frustrated, and you can be fearless in the future days.
The road of life is always smooth sailing, there are also ups and downs, and the indifference after removing the dark clouds and thorns is the real life.
▽
Serenity was once asked in an interview: "Do you want to go back to 20?" ”
She answered confidently and generously:
"I have walked so many roads to have this heart that is not destroyed now, and I am reluctant to become younger."
Women who have truly seen the world will always have a different temperament, gentle but powerful, indifferent but with connotation.
After reading a thousand sails, they cultivated a mature world view and managed their lives with a larger pattern.
May you be able to cultivate into a woman of the big pattern in the future:
I can cherish my feelings when I come to fate, and I will also be different when I am gone.
Being able to negotiate a big deal about cooking tea will also be rare to put aside trivia.
I can drink lightly in the star-rated restaurant, and I can also eat the spicy and hot on the side of the road.