01
If there is no debt, how can we meet, and the acquaintance between people may not have results, but it must all be meaningful. The part that can find meaning, hide it in the heart, and miss it forever, in fact, the result is not important. The pain of the result is the pain of attachment.
Accept the imperfections of the world, complete your independent thinking and growth, then your life has just begun.
I like the sentence of Ding Yuanying in "Heavenly Dao":
"It's not just fear of death, but also fear of life, old age, illness and death--life, old age, illness and death, who hides because they are afraid?"
Like this sentence, like is also the attitude of accepting the facts, can not change the things, struggle is just in vain, let yourself fall into endless internal friction and emotions, but in the end, what should happen will happen, should accept or accept, so calm, calm, calm is a realm.
You must have the temperament to be worthy of this life, but also worthy of your own richness, which can not only help you get out of obsession, but also affect the direction of your feelings.
In the world of feelings, your feelings, each other's feelings, these are two completely different and independent emotions, never in a binding posture, such as I love you, then you must also love me, have the same emotions.
It is precisely because the emotions are different and independent, love is beautiful and great, but love is a kind of luck, even if you know each other's feelings very well, but this emotion occurs in the red dust world, it means that it will inevitably be affected by the environment, so love, there is also the perfection of the environment, in turn, love and can not, is also the norm.
So don't have the obsession of "I love you so much, why don't you love me; we obviously love each other, but why can't we come together"
To be able to come together, of course, is good, but if you can't go together, you can only accept regrets. The beauty and meaning of love is in love, not in the result.
Chernyshevsky said:
"What does it mean to love someone? It means being happy for his happiness, doing everything that needs to be done to make him happier, and getting joy out of it. ”
The result is not necessarily what you expect, but as long as you can laugh in retrospect, it is happy. Maybe this love has no results, but at least we have loved, paid, been happy, and been happy, and that is enough, we have been so happy, and we have been loved so hard.
Love is happiness, is blessing, is fulfillment, if this relationship needs you to put down, but you can't put it down, say what I love you don't have to care about, wishful thinking, broken head, blood, liver and brain, this is not love, is wild, is wanton, is disturbing. Hopefully you are true love and not narcissistic love.
02
What if I can't put it down? Read a passage that says:
"If you can't put it down, don't let it go, just accept your own state of attachment, and in time, the mind will naturally dissolve." To cling to a 'let go' is nothing more than suffering. ”
If you are already attached, and with another attachment, wouldn't it be more painful and torturous?
So, if you still can't put down a person, first accept that you can't put it down.
True letting go doesn't require effort, with some accidents, with some unconsciousness, and then suddenly thinking and thinking at a certain non-specific moment. Time, may not help you solve any problems, but will definitely be the original problem of not being able to think of anything, the obsession that can not come out, become no longer important, you have to give time a little time, give the process a little process, people are inertia, because inertia and can not be separated from a person, because inertia to re-get used to a person.
The more persistent, the more profound the memories become, bit by bit, infinitely magnified in the mind, more stimulating emotions, and losing their minds, becoming crazy and paranoid.
At the same time, you can't accept your own decadence, and you often question yourself in your heart why you don't even have this point, which may cause you to become more irritable.
Letting go is not forgetting, it's something that really happens in life, unless you lose your memory, so don't force yourself to do things that are impossible. True letting go is letting go, accepting the facts, and then finding yourself in the obsession, and then treating the emotion, the memory, and finally putting it in a suitable position.
03
Accept your own attachment, not let yourself go crazy, you need to find a reasonable way to vent, tell your friends, write it down, even if it is to find a place where no one is crying. But don't hurt yourself, don't let yourself get mental illness, big things are not worth it.
The more emotionally unstable you are, the more you have to take care of your body, and there is something wrong with your body, which cannot be remedied later.
Don't bother, if the other party doesn't like you, your interruption will only make the other party hate you more, why should you leave your little dignity to the other party to trample on at will.
If many years have passed and you all have your own lives, then don't break into each other's lives again, otherwise you will set off a storm of waves, which will not be good for each other, or even a destruction. You indulge your emotions, but the final result, obviously contrary to the original intention of the emotion, are you willing to see?
Some love needs to be restrained, restrain the "desire" part, and try not to mix your love with "desire". Allowing oneself to flood with emotions may not be true love either.
Obviously, it is impossible, the beginning is the end, but it is better to hide love in the heart, more eternal.
When you really can't put it down, really have to calm down and think about it, whether you can't let go of the other party, can't let go of the past, or can't let go of yourself in the years, or let you miss, just the years of yourself. There are three prerequisites for real letting go, saying goodbye to past feelings, saying goodbye to past lives, and saying goodbye to past selves.
In fact, the things you have experienced are very beautiful, as long as you can let the past pass, you may not understand it at the time, and you will cling to the result, but you will understand it in the future.
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