Where do you think a person's strength is mainly manifested? Your answer may be that when you encounter difficulties, you may not turn to others, you may be good at self-regulation when you are in pain, you may not bring bad emotions to others, or you may have the ability to protect others.
Of course, these are the outward manifestations of a person's strength, but I think that a person's real strength is to always maintain his true disposition, not to hide his emotions at any time, to disguise himself to protect himself. But it is easier said than done, because in complex social relationships, if you want to be a person of true temperament, you are more likely to be hurt.
In the second verse of the I Ching, the sixth two words, there is such a saying: "Straight and large, no habit is unfavorable." Literally, it means integrity, squareness, grandeur, and it is not necessarily unprofitable not to learn. The explanation in Kong Yingda's "Zhou Yi Zhengyi" is: "Living things are not evil and are straight, the quiet of the earth is its square, and nothing is its greatness."
The emphasis of this phrase is on the second half of the sentence: "There is no disadvantage in not getting used to it." The unaccustomed here is not to not learn, but because of nature, there is no need to persistently pursue deeds, and to maintain one's true disposition, so that one can be at ease everywhere, so that there is no disadvantage, and one can become truly powerful. This is the same meaning I wrote earlier in "Honesty is the Best Strategy".
The Ming Dynasty thinker Li Yan wrote a couplet of words: "Zhuge is only cautious in his life, and Lü Duan is not confused about major matters." This Lü Duan, who is comparable to Zhuge Liang, was a famous prime minister in the Northern Song Dynasty, and he was an upright person, and he could even be said to be a man of temperament. Although Lü Duan was often confused in small matters, he was never confused in major matters, and he had never encountered hardships in his forty years as an official, which was really rare.
Why is it that a man who dares to speak out and maintains his true disposition has no one to embarrass him in the ancient official arena? Because he acts with integrity and generosity, he never hides his views, but speaks them truthfully, not afraid of being framed, in his words, "I walk straight, I am not ashamed, and the words of the storm are not enough to worry about."
Lü Duan's true disposition was also manifested in his selection of Kou Zhun as prime minister. We all know that these two men were prestigious courtiers at that time, and Lü Duan, who was then the prime minister, was much older than Kou Zhun, who was 26 years younger than him, regardless of seniority or official title. However, Lü Duan never suppressed Kou Zhun, but trusted and cared for him very much, and also elected him to succeed him as prime minister.
Lü Duan's reason was that Kou Zhun often spoke bluntly and advised him, and even if most people in the DPRK and China had opinions about him, they were not afraid of provoking anger and took the initiative to resist the Liao, and everywhere for the sake of the interests of the country, such a person was fully qualified for the post of prime minister. Therefore, when Song Taizong chose a new prime minister, everyone thought that Lü Duan was the best candidate.
But Lü Duan said that Kou Zhun was the most suitable person. It can be seen that Lü Duan does not have the heart to fight for power and profit, his words and deeds are consistent, his actions are bright and upright, he will not disguise himself for the sake of interests, say some self-interested words, and do not have to prove that he is stronger and take over as prime minister, but recommend people who are more suitable than himself. Because he knows that a person's strength is not to see how big the official is, but to dare to put it down, to do what is right, to do everything according to nature, and there are not many people who can do this.
Lü Duan's unaccustomed and unfavorable is that he usually dares to speak out, speaks and acts according to his true disposition in front of Ming Jun, and once he finds a talented person, he cherishes it from the bottom of his heart, even if he lets him replace himself. This kind of open-mindedness and temperament, bright heart, do this for a lifetime there is nothing to fear, such a person is really powerful.
According to the Zizhi Tongjian, Yan Zhongzi of Puyang, in order to kill the younger brother of Han Jinghou, who had a vendetta against him, spent a lot of money to hire a nie zheng to avenge himself. Nie Zheng did not accept it, because his mother was still unwilling to take risks, afraid that after his death, there would be no one to take care of his mother. It was not until after his mother's death that Nie Zheng was willing to assassinate Xia Ti for Yan Zhongzi.
When Nie Zheng killed Xia Tired, he knew that he could not escape, so he used a knife to cut his face beyond recognition, and then wentuged out his eyes, and after disfiguring himself, he committed suicide by caesarean section, which was said to be very bloody at that time. However, the Koreans refused to stop there, so they put Nie Zheng's body on the street and offered a reward to those who could identify him.
But none of Nie Zheng, who had been disfigured, recognized him. Later, after Nie Zheng's sister Nie Zheng knew about it, she ran to Nie Zheng's corpse and cried bitterly regardless of her own safety. She said, "How did I not know that you were Nie Zheng?" Because I am still alive, you are afraid of upsetting me so that I will not be recognized, in order to protect me. How can I be afraid of burying your name?"
As soon as she finished speaking, Nie Yan committed suicide. The suicide of the sister seems to have failed Nie Zheng's good intentions, but the sister survived and buried her brother's name, and she did not live at ease. At this time, human rationality is already at a disadvantage, and the revelation of true disposition is touching.
The behavior of the elder sister Nie Zhen itself represents bravery, she dared to give up her chance to live and achieve the heroic name of her brother Nie Zheng is only one of the reasons, the biggest reason is that she has always maintained her true disposition in the face of life and death, such a talent is really powerful, whether life or death, she is respected.
Nie Yan's unaccustomed and unfavorable, that is, knowing that that person was his brother, he would not turn a blind eye for self-preservation, but revealed his true disposition and risked death to recognize each other. Although the result seemed to be bad, after all, she was killed by suicide, but this result was still favorable--it was beneficial to Nie Zheng's name, which was many times more beneficial than her own life. Willing to give their lives to maintain another person's reputation, a truly powerful person can do it.
The commoner emperor Liu Bang was also a man of temperament. Of course, relying on his true disposition alone cannot be the emperor, but it is said that he is in the ninth and fifth honor and does not lose his true disposition, whether he speaks or acts like when he was in his hometown. Not to mention that Liu Bang became powerful by saying that he was the emperor, it was better to say that his ordinary heart, his natural cause, made him a really powerful person.
Once Liu Bang was ill, and Lü Hou invited a doctor to see him. Liu Bang not only did not let the doctor treat the disease, but scolded him, rewarded him with 50 pounds of gold, and sent the doctor away. Why did Liu Bang refuse to heal the disease when he knew he could cure it? Doesn't he value his own life?
He himself explained the reason: "I take the world with three feet of cloth, is this not destiny?" Fate is in heaven, though it is good for the magpie!" It means that I was a cloth cloth cloth and seized the world with a three-foot sword, is this not the destiny of heaven? My life was decided by God, and Bian Que was useless in his lifetime. You can disapprove of this kind of resigned thinking, he calmly faced death, unlike Qin Shi Huang who went around seeking elixirs, which showed the strength of his heart.
Another time at a banquet, Liu Bang said to his father at the palace: "In the past, when I was in Pei County, you always said that I was lazy, and that I was like a rogue who had nothing to do all day, saying that I was not as diligent as my second brother. You see now, my property is bigger than my second brother, who is bigger?" After saying this, he laughed loudly, and the group of courtiers shouted long live, the palace continued to laugh and laugh, and Liu Bang and his father got along happily.
As a dignified emperor, Liu Bang actually revealed his own shortcomings in front of the courtiers, and as a joke, he would never hide it, which was the outward manifestation of a person's true disposition. Coupled with the refusal to cure the disease and face death without fear, it is a kind of natural, brave and free outlook on life.
Liu Bang's unaccustomed is not disadvantageous, that is, he is undisguised in the face of the shortness of the year, and if he wants to say it, others will not look down on him because of this, and he will not care, on the contrary, everyone admires him even more, which is no disadvantage. Liu Bang is also facing the disease, life and death have a fate and wealth in the sky, how to do it, it is even more spontaneous and free, without the slightest sense of fear, this is his unaccustomed; no matter whether the condition gets better or worse, Liu Bang's approach makes people have more understanding of life and death, it is not harmful.
From these three stories, it can be seen that when we face all the uncertainties of life, if we always deliberately hide our true thoughts, spend empty thoughts to package and hide ourselves, and try to take shortcuts to solve them, it is counterproductive, and it is also a manifestation of a person's weakness and dare not face the problem. Such a person may be exchanged for a moment of peace, but he cannot exchange it for the peace of a lifetime.
I remember a lyric: "Peace of mind, that is forever." If we can maintain our true disposition, not clinging to things, and not doing things that violate our conscience, we can always be at peace of mind. And a person's strength does not need to pretend to be whitewashed by external objects, deliberately pretending to be invincible, just maintaining the true temperament.