01
A mouth, good to say and evil is reasonable.
In life, everyone can't be silent all the time, and if you don't speak for a long time, others will treat you as dumb.
Wise people know how to think twice, say a few kind words to others, have good connections, and the road is easy to go; stupid people will only open their mouths, hurt each other, and walk alone.
02
In the middle of the mountain where Zhuangzi walked, he saw a large tree with lush foliage. The lumberjack looked at the tree, but did not cut it down. He wondered, why?
The lumberjack said it was a useless tree.
Zhuangzi suddenly realized that useless trees can not only grow freely, but also wither naturally and live a carefree life.
In the woods, the trees are divided into three, six, nine and so on. Like paulownia trees, crooked neck old trees, few people care. Because of "uselessness", trees live a good life.
Being a person is the same, there is no wisdom, there is no money, when interacting with people, a serious word can not be said, others encounter difficulties, there is no way to help. Such a person will be left out in the cold, but he will live at ease.
One day, Zhuangzi went to a friend's house as a guest.
The friend prepared goose meat and greeted such a distinguished guest as Zhuangzi.
Zhuangzi asked, there are two geese in the family, which goose is eaten?
The friend replied that he would not call the one.
Hey, the taciturn goose is more likely to become a plate of food.
In society, not all silent people are intelligent people. Some people, who can't do anything, have to use silence to cover themselves up and pretend to be deep.
After two small incidents, Zhuangzi decided to be a person between "material" and "unskilled", so as to avoid disasters.
Lu Xun said: "If you do not erupt in silence, you will perish in silence." ”
Smart people don't stay silent. Silence is a charge, and if it does not sound, it is already a blockbuster.
03
Fools polyphemous.
Three-year-old Kong Rong, able to make pears, admirable.
When kong Rong grew up, he turned to Cao Cao and became an official.
Kong Rong was a man of integrity, and when he saw that Cao Cao often used some irregular routines, he was very angry, and from time to time he gave Cao Cao a look and actively spoke.
After Cao Cao defeated Yuan Shao, he fell in love with his daughter-in-law Zhen Ji. However, Cao Cao's son was one step ahead of others, and the first move was strong.
Clear-eyed people, see through and do not say thoroughly, but Kong Rong said in a word- the King of Wu cut down the silk and gave the Duke of Zhou with his own.
He used the story of the Zhou Dynasty to warn Cao Cao that the starting point was good, but Cao Cao did not appreciate it and hated it.
Previously, when Cao Cao sent troops to attack Yuan Shao, Kong Rong strongly opposed it and loudly proclaimed that this time there was no doubt that he would lose, interfering with the hearts and minds of the army.
Counting the new hatred and the old hatred together, Kong Rong naturally did not have good fruit to eat, and he also tired his family.
The mouth is a sharp weapon to hurt people, and if you do not know how to restrain it, you will say the wrong thing as soon as you open your mouth, just like glass is broken.
Those who open their mouths are not meant to hurt others, but the speaker has no intention, the listener intends, and the misunderstanding between people will become deeper and deeper.
Talking indiscriminately, daring to speak, and speaking positively are all courageous and unscrupulous practices, and cleverness is mistaken by cleverness.
04
Wise men speak well.
Speaking is an art.
Smart people generally use the following ways of speaking.
First, pretend to be confused and will not casually speak through. For example, in the workplace, leaders make mistakes and need to be reminded in good faith, not to speak through. Leaders are smart people who understand when they hear them. Not to say it thoroughly, it is to save face, and the leader is grateful.
If you can't say something, then make a few words, make everyone ambiguous, and naturally you won't ask deeply.
Second, before opening your mouth, observe the color of your words and do not say inappropriate words. As the saying goes, "Go to what mountain, sing what song." "Don't let your words be harsh.
If you don't fit in, you can get a lot of attention and trigger a siege from others. Guns shoot the head bird, which is something that everyone needs to avoid. Drown yourself in the crowd, surrounded by people, so that it will not target you.
When you have objections, you should pay attention to "individual communication", or reserve opinions, and cannot be ignored.
Third, until the point is reached, at any time, it will not be like a river. A lot of words need to be abruptly stopped. If you talk alone, the words behind you will deviate from your original intention.
Fourth, do not add oil and vinegar, be fair and just, and pay attention to moral rules. We cannot be partial to listening, nor can we make subjective assumptions. Speak, have rules, and keep moral and legal bottom lines.
For example, if you encounter a couple who are divorced, they have to ask you to be the "referee". You should figure out the situation, and then criticize the person who made the mistake, preach to the person who did not make the mistake, and make him more tolerant. The rules of persuasion and non-persuasion, you have to obey.
In daily interactions, I often hear such a sentence - a few kind words, and you will be fine.
The source of contradictions between people is mostly small things that are "trivial". Understand the big things into small things, everything is fine. The appropriate kind words will convince others and make them very comfortable.
05
Conclusion.
Master Hui said, "When you are going to speak, what you say must be more valuable than your silence." ”
Speak, less nonsense, more meaningful words.
In society, actively spread positive energy, consciously resist negative energy; at home, say more words of encouragement, listen more to what your family says, and do not say a word of blame; in the unit, care more about work, less interference in other people's private affairs, do not interfere with the work of your boss; in the group of relatives and friends, be a listener, do not say nonsense.
Huang Zhizhong, a celebrity in Taiwanese debate, once said: "Nine times out of ten, the troubles of life are due to interpersonal relationships." ”
Whether relationships are good or not depends in large part on "talking".
Good communication, let people feel happy, so that strangers can feel the care and warmth; slander, slander, complaining, accusations, sarcasm, beard and glare and other ways of speaking, as soon as they open their mouths, they will offend people and drive the people around them out.
Remember, words are valuable, and people are more valuable.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.