Bennett Kaspar-Williams, 37, with an inch-length head, a beard, and almost no bulge in his chest, is a man to anyone.
But the pregnant belly, and indeed grew on him,
The appearance of being pregnant in September is no different from other mothers who are waiting to give birth.
Is technology finally advancing to the point where men can have babies?
Of course not, Bennett was originally a daughter, 10 years ago, she slowly realized that she should be a man,
So in the summer of 2014, Bennett began to receive hormone therapy.
A year later, he had his breasts removed.
Originally, Bennett had made an appointment with a specialist to remove the uterus in 2018.
But a few months before the operation, he met her current husband, Malik,
After the two met through dating software, they fell in love at first sight and quickly warmed up, and soon reached the point of talking about marriage.
When Bennett mentioned that he was going to have his uterus removed,
Although Malik did not block, his face was full of disappointment,
He said, "Well, I thought we were going to have kids. ”
Bennett took this sentence to heart and did not go to the operation.
After his wedding in May 2019, he stopped hormonal treatment and began to seriously prepare for pregnancy.
However, due to years of hormonal therapy,
It takes 5 to 6 months for Bennett's menstrual cycle to return to normal.
Coupled with the fact that the 37-year-old is already an advanced maternal age,
The husband and wife have been mentally prepared, and their road to seeking a son may encounter many difficulties....
Unexpectedly, just two months after starting to try, Bennett was pregnant with the baby,
Watching the color of the test strips getting darker and darker, the two people couldn't stop the excitement and couldn't wait to meet the little life in their stomachs.
But it was March 2020, on the eve of the global outbreak of the new crown virus.
Bennett began to worry,
He must not only ensure his own safety, but also protect the baby in his belly from coming to life smoothly.
So he and his husband went to live in a house in the valley for a year.
While waiting for the fetus to grow up in this place far from the world, while avoiding the invasion of the virus,
Because of this, not many people see this "flat-headed strong man" with a big belly and wearing maternity clothes.
To some extent, he avoided a lot of criticism and avoided some potential violent incidents.
However, due to the epidemic prevention rules, almost all the tests during pregnancy were done by him alone, and the hospital did not allow Malik to accompany him.
Later, Bennett went to the hospital to await delivery.
In October, through a caesarean section, he gave birth to a healthy baby boy named Hudson.
Although the promotion of the father made him feel very happy,
But Bennett treated him with disgust during the delivery, when the nurses in the hospital always treated him like a mother:
"Even though I have a beard all over my face, my chest is flat, and all my identification documents say 'male',
But people still assume that I am a 'mother', 'mother', or 'lady'.
Gender confusion makes me feel very irritable.
Throughout my pregnancy, I didn't feel any 'feminine'.
Self-isolating while carrying a child and going to the hospital alone to handle all the appointments and check-ups was definitely the hardest and bravest thing I've ever done.
I dare say that nothing is more powerful than being able to say, 'I am a father who has successfully created his own children.' ”
Bennett argues that there is no need to associate pregnancy with women,
It is important to remove this deep-rooted impression:
"In the United States, all pregnancy-related business revolves around the concept of 'mother', and pregnancy is deeply intertwined with gender, and it is difficult not to be misunderstood."
"I always understood that I might be pregnant, but I didn't want to do it until I learned how to separate the concepts of body function and gender.
Once I learned to see the body only as a tool, rather than as a collection of gender stereotypes, I understood that I could both be who I wanted to be and bring children into the world.
No one knows if they can conceive a child until they actually try it – having a womb at birth doesn't mean getting pregnant.
That's why it's so important to no longer define 'woman' with 'motherhood', because the statement 'all women can be mothers, all mothers can have children, or all those who have children are mothers' is wrong, and none of them holds true. ”
For ordinary people, women pregnant and have babies, it is no more natural,
However, as someone who has struggled with gender issues for a long time, Bennett believes that things should not be summarized in such a simple way.
As a teenager, Bennett was very uncomfortable with wearing a bra, and did not like girls' clothes.
Always wear flannel shirts and loose jeans,
She is strong in appearance and looks very manly, and since the age of 18, she has only interacted with girls.
But in her 20s, as she learned more about sexual minorities, she also had a new understanding of herself and began dating some transgender people.
Bennett felt like he had discovered a new world and became more comfortable.
So a month after getting her lawyer's license, at the age of 30, she embarked on the road to transgenderism step by step.
A few weeks after starting ingesting hormones, Bennett noticed changes in his body.
Not only does the body temperature rise, it is often easy to be hungry, but the energy also becomes much more energetic:
"It feels like Peter Parker gaining superpowers after being bitten by a spider."
No one was surprised when he announced his transsexuality to his friends and family, because he had always been a very masculine lesbian.
However, when he introduced his boyfriend at the time, Malik, to his family, everyone was still a little surprised.
In Bennett's words, he came out three times,
Once lesbian, once transgender, and now, gay again.
Fortunately, his family has always supported him,
His wedding to Malik was also completed in the presence of 40 relatives and friends.
Bennett has always had very mixed emotions about his body.
After 15 years of mastectomy, he felt relieved:
"It's really liberating and I feel like that's what I'm supposed to do. But I've never had a sense of hatred for my breasts like other transgender people.
But I also never thought that getting rid of them would be so painful, like the burden on my shoulders was gone.
Maybe I'll stop here and stop thinking about surgery on the lower body, because its presence doesn't scare me.
But after having a second child, I may be able to resume hormone therapy. ”
Today, Hudson is more than a year old, and this family of three is very happy and warm,
And as a father, the greatest joy is of course to witness the growth of the child,
Every time his son made a new discovery and ran over to shout "Daddy" happily, it was Bennett's happiest moment.
The way children look like they are not influenced by the world, they are very beautiful:
"Children don't see the world with prejudice and stereotypes like adults,
For my son, there is nothing more natural and normal than having a dad and a dad.
When he grows up, he will know that it was the father who held him and took care of him that brought him into this world.
In their eyes, there is love, patience, and commitment,
My son will surely accept the fact that I gave birth to him with open arms, just as he accepted all the love and beauty around him. ”
Although Bennett said it with a convincing and well-founded look,
But his argument that separating "pregnant" from "female" is acceptable to few people:
"Uh... If you have a uterus and are pregnant with a child, whether it is a caesarean section or a vaginal birth, you cannot be a man. ”
"Save us and that poor child, God."
"Nurse, nurse, this person needs to rescue again!!!"
"Only a woman can have children. Only women, only women, no one else, only women, women can have children, men can't, it has to be women. How can such a simple truth be repeated so many times? ”
"When it comes to having children, every woman is 100 percent sure she is a woman, and that includes transgender people who change women to men.
So the saying 'men can have children too' doesn't show respect for anyone, not only for women, but also for the pain they suffer when they have children. ”
"Because of anxiety, it is necessary to have sex reassignment surgery, but it is not so anxious, and the female reproductive system should be used.... These people simply don't understand what they want. ”
"While saying that I can't stand my breasts, which make me very irritable, I also say that I am pregnant, there is no problem!"
"Doesn't this just prove that gender can't be changed?"
If you don't want to be called a mom, don't do what only a mom can do. ”
"The bearded woman gave birth to a child, next."
"'He' should go to a nurse who won't be so busy that he forgot to follow the place he said he was going to have a baby."
Originally, during pregnancy, there were still many people who expressed their blessings to Bennett.
But as soon as the remarks that separated women from motherhood came out, netizens immediately expressed disgust, and almost no one continued to support him....
Indeed, women pregnant in October need to bear all kinds of physical discomfort, and the subsequent life trajectory will be completely rewritten.
And these are by no means something that can be summarized in three or two sentences and replaced....