Love requires compromise, but it definitely doesn't make you give up everything! Love can help you find your truest self, rather than forcing you to put on a mask and crawl in the dust.
Because of this, it's important to choose the person you love.
A selective mistake on this issue can lead to pain and sorrow for the rest of your life.
In addition, stop loss is also a survival instinct that adults must learn.
You may look at the wrong person, but after seeing through and recognizing the other party, you must know how to give up and leave, which is an attitude and practice that can at least protect your own smooth life!
What does it end up like for people who have made major misdirections on these two issues?
The personal experience of the 45-year-old woman below should say it all.
Now she confessed: "I have never regretted cheating for seven years, but then my son's words made me miserable." ”
Let's listen to her experience and voice, it should bring you a lot of thoughts!
01
My surname is Chi and I am 45 years old.
When I cheated seven years ago, I thought like this: "People's lives are very short, they have no eyesight, and it has cost me a full 15 years to find a scumbag, which is also the length of time of a small half of a lifetime, don't put the second half of your life into it." ”
He never took loyalty seriously, humiliated me for so many years, and when he first found out, he was not willing to be treated like this for the sake of his children, so I did not choose to divorce, but chose to be patient.
But I completely broke down after putting up with it! I am also a human being, in the face of such a man, in such a suffocating and desperate marriage for so long, who can stand it?
Because he never turned back, the hatred in my heart was completely aroused in despair and anger, and it can be said that my original intention of cheating was pure revenge!
I also want him to taste the green. What he treats me, I will treat him as I will! Only in this way can I solve the hatred in my heart!
02
Like this kind of thing, from the perspective and position of others, we all know that we should not.
After all, cheating on such a thing is not correct in itself, and whoever does it is wrong!
But whose suffering, who knows but himself?
Sometimes people just fall into the magic obstacle because of certain things, and the reason is understood, but when it is really their turn to fall into such a situation, it seems that there is no other way to find some balance in their hearts except to do so.
In the seven years since my first infidelity, I have not stopped indulging myself in search of pleasure and treating this as a punishment for scumbags.
Gradually, more and more people around me knew, but people's discussion made me feel no embarrassment or guilt at all. Because I think that even if there is a mistake, it is his mistake first, and the mistake is even more outrageous.
This is a grudge between us, except that we can decide what to do and give each other an explanation and explanation, others have no right to morally kidnap me!
With such a mentality, I have always gone my own way. Because my husband has not come home for many years, he is also a lazy attitude towards my affairs.
Therefore, we gradually formed a kind of getting along with each other, playing our own game, and not caring about each other.
It can be said that marriage has become really dead and quite weird.
03
Although I always thought that I was not sorry for my scumbag husband, and he could acquiesce and accept my betrayal.
Then that's what happens between us, and there's nothing wrong with being able to get along with each other like this.
But then my son's words made me really fall into shame and pain.
Just some time ago, he was ready to live in a rented apartment. I would like to advise him not to move because the home is spacious.
But he said to me: "Mom, you and my father have seen too many dark sides of marriage in the process of growing up, and because of the behavior of the two of you, I have endured too much ridicule and blank eyes from others along the way."
I can't take care of adult affairs, but I just want to get out of here, go to a place where no one knows me, be quiet, and live a normal life like others. ”
His words plunged me into endless sentimentality and pain.
Only then did I understand that cheating on a man who didn't love him at all was a rather ridiculous and meaningless thing to do.
He didn't care, and I, myself was one step wrong, and in the second half of my life, I was also caught up in gossip, destined to live only humblely, even if it was, and ruined the child, bringing him a serious psychological shadow, and there was no respect and dependence on the family and parents.
I am afraid that it also caused a considerable impact on his concept of marriage and love, and after thinking about it, I regretted it endlessly, and then I really realized that I was wrong, and the mistake was quite outrageous!
epilogue:
Some people are destined to live in sorrow for the rest of their lives!
Just like this woman, she belongs to this type completely.
Why? Because first of all, she did not know how to recognize people, and when interacting with men, she did not know what kind of character the other party was, so she blindly married.
Only later did I find that the other party was full of emotions, and there was no sense of responsibility and loyalty. Second, she doesn't know how to stop loss and give up. I saw the other party's incurability, but I kept forcing myself to endure for various reasons that I thought were very specific.
Therefore, the pain caused by the continued infidelity of the other party after that is a kind of secondary harm she herself has inflicted.
There is a more important point: she followed in the footsteps of the other party in order to get revenge, and also embarked on the road of derailment.
Mistakes are not prioritized, but are summarized only by facts and deeds. The wrong 100 steps and the wrong 50 steps are only a matter of distance, and the nature of the error itself is the same.
As a result, she managed to lose sympathy, public support, the respect of her children, and even the revenge itself became meaningless, because her husband didn't care at all.
Things have come to this point, can she be called a winner, can she be called a scumbag with facts?
I'm afraid that this answer does not need to be said by others, and she herself is quite clear.
So finally I would like to add a sentence: to terminate an unhappy marriage, just leave, do not need to do more unnecessary struggles, do not need to lose their reputation and the rest of their lives, this is the most correct choice, adults must understand!
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