Author:Ai Wen (Emotional Self-Media Person)
Many years ago, a friend once said this:
"I especially admire those who choose to divorce because it takes a lot of courage."
We probably avoid talking about the topic of divorce, we are actually very afraid of divorce, if a person does not care about divorce, there is no fear in the heart, then, such a person, is not abusive, or ruthless.
Divorces that are arbitrary, or divorced because of betrayal, are certainly not advisable. However, if the marriage is already full of pain and a pool of stagnant water, then it is actually irresponsible to never accept the facts and let yourself spend the rest of your life in this hopeless marriage.
When marriage falls into endless pain, it becomes the heaviest shackle that imprisons life. For people in marriage, divorce is a problem that needs to be thought about and faced. In fact, for such a marriage, divorce usually has two important meanings, one is to relieve pain, and the other is to regain a new life. At this time, divorce does not mean that they do not value feelings, often, the more emotional people, but the more difficult it is to compromise on unhappy marriages.
You will see in real life, many very emotional, very emotional people, the final result is still divorce, to believe, what they experience, must be difficult for ordinary people to imagine and understand, this is exclusive to their practice, this road, and finally to divorce, the pain, suffering, torture, entanglement, must not be easy.
Liberation from pain and rebirth, in fact, there is a sequence, relief of pain is the first, and then to regain a new life, and many people think about divorce, the order is reversed, they always hope to see the "new life" after divorce, before they dare to relieve pain.
In fact, divorce is an attempt in life.
I believe that everyone who is in pain in marriage has done his best in marriage, trying to see if he can make a way to make himself live well without divorce, but if you try, it still has no effect, or you can't be happy, then you must accept the conclusion that the marriage is dead.
Now that marriage is dead, divorce is an attempt, an attempt that has the potential to regain happiness in life – without divorce, the rest of your life is destined to be painful; divorced, at least half of your life is likely to be happy.
At the end of life, the biggest regret is not what you did, but what you didn't do – the same applies. Many people have the ability to choose divorce, do not have the courage to make this decision, and when they are really powerless, they want to understand that life cannot suffer in vain, at this time everything has been missed in vain.
Regarding these truths about divorce, in fact, everyone understands, but why are there still too many people who can't take this step?
This goes back to what the friend just said: Divorce requires great courage.
Choosing divorce, there are really too many problems to face, both practical problems, such as economic and psychological problems, such as loneliness. None of these problems can be solved so easily. When you start thinking about divorce, these questions will come out of your head, and in a few minutes, you may hit back the divorce thoughts that have just emerged.
Many people are afraid of divorce, they are worried about their children, they are worried about the physical and mental health of their children, and they do not divorce for their children - this is of course the natural righteousness of parents. However, if you make such a choice, you must be positive and optimistic, full of positive energy, because parents are the best examples for their children, if they are sad all day long, and they live without a little anger, then the so-called excuse for their children is actually an excuse to escape from themselves.
The deeper psychology is the fear of taking responsibility, the fear of taking responsibility for the impact of children because of divorce, and the responsibility of not having a worse life after divorce.
Therefore, when a person faces divorce, he must not only have courage, but also have enough confidence in himself to be able to take responsibility for all possible outcomes after divorce.
When you think about divorce, almost everyone is pessimistic and thinks about life after divorce is terrible – in fact, if you don't really divorce, you will never know what your life will be like after divorce.
For the future, of course, it is all kinds of uncertainty, unpredictability will make people feel afraid, just like we play "touch the box" excellent, even if you put a cute corgi in it, when you put your hand in, you are still afraid.
What people are most worried about is actually the fear of a lonely old man after divorce. For many years, the life of someone has long been accustomed, and when I think of being alone after divorce, in case I am sick, in case I can't walk... You don't dare to think about it anymore, and of course you don't dare to divorce easily.
So, in the end, you will find that the courage to decide whether you have the courage to divorce, the most fundamental thing is whether you have the confidence and ability to live alone.
Speaking of this, you probably understand that the most important thing you should do now is to enhance your confidence, cultivate and enhance your ability.
Ability is a relatively broad concept, but there are at least three meanings: one is a certain economic ability, at least to ensure that they have no worries about food and clothing; the second is the ability to be alone, even if they are alone, they can live happily; the third is health, if they are healthy and healthy, they can take care of themselves until they are old.
Many people say, Teacher Ai, how do you always talk about divorce... Again, I'm not trying to persuade people to divorce, I'm just trying to give courage to those who are suffering in painful marriages.