Text 丨 Jiang Yige
Article first launch 丨 push mo push
Everyone's life will have too much unwillingness and helplessness.
Those who have taken detours, those who have missed, and the wrong choices are all preserved in our memories, often remembered, but frustrated.
But regret has long become a thing of the past, instead of tangling with the past, it is better to learn to be relieved and embrace the present.
Life may give you new surprises.
In the United States, there was a program group that set up a sign on the street that read, "Please write down the things you feel most sorry about."
Unexpectedly, in less than a day, there was a dense and different handwriting filling the entire blackboard:
"Too much time was wasted."
"I didn't study hard."
"Missed the person I love the most."
The handwriting on the blackboard is full of different lives. But this just means that everyone has made mistakes in the past, because the mistakes of the past have caused today's regrets.
This reminds me of my first job experience.
When I first joined the company, because my colleague Li Yue was very friendly to me and had a kind personality, I soon regarded her as a friend and said everything to each other. For example, the opinions of superiors and colleagues, as well as dissatisfaction with the unit system, are all shared with her in great detail.
But not long after, my boss suddenly called me to the office alone, asked me to resign, and gently told me that he knew everything I had said.
I only told Li Yue about work, it must be her behind the scenes. Afterwards, I was angry at the same time, but also blamed myself for not being able to cover my mouth and not knowing people clearly, and only then did I end up in such a situation.
Later, every time I think about it, I regret it very much, why I made such a low-level mistake and lost my valuable job opportunity.
Until one time, I was chatting with friends in the local WeChat group, and when I happened to talk about work, everyone was talking about the mistakes they had made in the workplace, and they comforted each other after saying it.
I only then understood that everyone's past has had more or less problems, because a momentary mistake has brought a different impact on their lives.
Even if you regret it afterwards, you can't make up for it, and you can only feel guilty in your heart. There's a saying on the Internet that goes something like this:
"There is no perfect life, imperfection is life."
In the vast sea of people, everyone will have unspeakable mistakes and the past, and there will be different flaws;
The only thing we can do is accept everything we have been and admit to our imperfect selves.
Because I didn't love to study when I was a child, my college entrance examination results were extremely poor, and I didn't even have enough scores in the three main lines, and I ended up studying in a college.
When I saw that my classmates around me had been admitted to the university of my choice, I was very envious.
Because I did not have a good academic qualification, I was discriminated against when I was interning in the unit, and the teacher was kind to the undergraduates, but deliberately ignored me.
When I was looking for a job after graduation, I ran into walls everywhere, and I always didn't respond to my past resumes, and I was notified to go to the interview, but I was ridiculed by the personnel.
Since then, the matter of academic qualifications has become a piece of my heart disease. Because the diploma was inferior to others, I felt worthless and became less confident.
It is difficult to find a job, because I am too inferior to prove myself in front of my superiors, and I try to reduce my sense of existence.
Because I live too depressed, I am not willing to laugh, let alone talk, and the whole person looks gloomy. Once when I came home, my mother saw my appearance and asked me directly: "You are outside, and you are very bitter." ”
In just one short sentence, all my grievances surged into my heart and I said all the words in my heart. After my mother listened, she said to me:
"Things are already like this, why do you have to cling to mistakes?"
I woke up instantly. Yes, even if I am sad and grumpy about the past, I can't start over and make up for my previous mistakes. If I had the chance to live again, I would have repeated the same mistakes and followed the same path.
I once saw a sentence: "Don't fight the past, we are not opponents." ”
Since the mistakes of the past have been made, no regret will change anything, instead of continuing to suffer, it is better to choose to let go, focus on the present, and say goodbye to the past, and the future will encounter new surprises.
In the book "A Man's Pilgrimage", there is such a fragment.
Harold and his wife Maureen once had a child named David. David was very good and was admitted to Cambridge University, but at the age of eighteen, he committed suicide.
After understanding, the couple understood that because Harold cared too little about David, David suffered from depression, so he chose to commit suicide.
Harold was very remorseful, and he thought, "If he had given David more care, he would have known he had depression." ”
"If you had given him a hug the day he learned of his drug addiction, it might not be the result now."
And his wife Maureen also because of the pain of losing her son, always quarreled with Harold, repeatedly blamed the other party for being an incompetent father, and after a long quarrel, their relationship began to drift apart.
Since then, Harold has begun to fall into deep self-blame and pain, and he has drunk drunk every day and even done many bad things.
Maureen also moved into David's room and talked to herself all day about her son's black-and-white photos. The relationship between the couple has also become more and more rigid, and even on the verge of divorce.
Therefore, Harold decided to hike in order to escape, and on this journey, Harold and Maureen not only came out of the shadow of sadness, but also reconciled the two people, and life also returned to its original warmth and tranquility.
Although the process of letting go of mistakes is difficult, if you stay in the mistakes of the past, it will consume more time and energy, and even hurt the people you love the most.
So, don't be bound by the mistakes of the past, try to let go and focus on the life you have now.
When you completely let go of your past mistakes and troubles and live with the best posture, negative emotions will naturally disappear and life can eventually become better.
Everyone's past will have unknown shortcomings and deficiencies, but everyone never mentions it to people, but just puts it in their hearts.
And some people will be reluctant to let go because of remorse. But in doing so, not only will it not be able to make up for the past, but it will even lead a bad life in the present.
Only by letting go of regrets, looking forward, and trying to live a good life in the present, you will find that as long as you live your current life well, life will continue to bloom.
The rest of your life is very long, from now on, work hard, reduce future regrets, and encourage together.
About the author: Jiang Yige, a curious post-90s generation. Heal life with words, heal life with mentality.