Friends who like literature and history should know:
Su Shi, a great scholar of the Northern Song Dynasty, was an "all-round talent", but Su Shi's life was also very bumpy. Some netizens have counted the places where Su Shi has walked in his life because he has been degraded, as shown in the following figure:
From this map, it can be seen that Su Shi's life was either degraded or walked on the road of "being degraded".
But Su Shi was different from other degraded literati—wherever Su Shi went, local officials and people would greet him; when he left, many more people sent him by the way.
They are all literati and are also degraded, so why does Su Shi have so many people to support them?
Su Shi once said a sentence:
I can accompany the Jade Emperor on the top, and I can accompany the beggars in the Beitianyuan, and there is no bad person in the world.
Su Shi's meaning is very simple: "Whether it is a person of high power or a poor and lowly person, I can accompany you." In my eyes, everyone is a good person. ”
The first is "Shangke accompanies the Jade Emperor": after Su Shi and his younger brother Su Rui participated in the imperial examination, Song Renzong read the articles of the two, patted his thighs with joy, and said to the people around him: "I have found two good prime ministers for my children and grandchildren!" ”
Su Shi thus gained the "Song Renzong" network, so that later when Su Shi almost lost his life because of the "Wutai Poetry Case", even the empress dowager interceded for Su Shi - this is the chain reaction of interpersonal relations.
Then there is the "Beggars of the Lower Heavenly Courtyard": no matter where Su Shi is relegated, Su Shi can mingle with the local people - leading the peasants to reclaim the loess and teach the children to read and write.
Therefore, even if he was relegated to Danzhou, a barren land in the Northern Song Dynasty, Su Shi was also able to live a tasteful life with the help of the people.
In today's words: Su Shi has a good popularity and wide network, and is undoubtedly a "social cattle man". As a man, you should be like Su Shi, even if you are in a low valley, you must maintain a good relationship. The question is, how do you do it stay?
In modern psychology, there is a term called the "six-dimensional separation theory." Meaning: the interval between any two people will not exceed five people. That is to say, even if you want to know a passerby on the street abroad, as long as you know B through A, then know C through B, and so on, through up to six people, you can know this passerby.
Just like Su Shi, with the "praise" given to him by Song Renzong, there was the empress dowager's intercession at the "Wutai Poetry Case". In addition, Su Shi's life has ups and downs, one moment being degraded, the other promoted, in addition to his own ability, is also a "chain reaction" of interpersonal relations at work.
The same is true in modern society, the wider your circle of friends, the more opportunities you have, and the greater the probability of success.
Some people always say, "Be high-quality social and stay away from ineffective circles." "However, the real high-quality social networking is actually to make some friends regardless of the three teachings and nine streams."
Everyone knows the idiom "chicken singing dog thief". During the Warring States period, Meng Tianjun was able to save his life because he befriended two people who were "good at stealing and good at learning to call chickens".
Modern people should also be like Meng Tianjun and Su Shi: you care whether he is the "Jade Emperor" or "Humble Beggar", try to broaden his network of contacts, and then make friends with these people in a "deep and shallow friendship" way - this is called "high-quality social".
People's lives are full of ups and downs, especially for men - career setbacks, life is not smooth, that is a normal thing.
The key is to know how to pay attention to the chain reaction in interpersonal relationships. Because you never know what kind of great help some seemingly inconspicuous little person will bring you one day.
Do this well, even if you are in the trough, there will naturally be a day of bottoming out.