Friends are friendly, I am Miao Baoping, a psychological counselor, and the name of the network is like dust.
Today we continue to read Dr. Yue Xiaodong's book", "The Feeling of Ascending to Heaven: I Did Psychological Counseling at Harvard University", "Chapter 6 I Hate My Indifference".
Text: Please sweep away the "garbage" buried in your heart 5
Jiasha finally liberated herself.
She no longer felt as gray as she had before, and she no longer felt so guilty about her roommate's death.
Looking at the oil painting of the sea in my room, she commented: "I feel like I have just swum from the churning sea to the shore, and although I am exhausted, my mood is extremely relaxed."
Indeed, the death of Jiasha's roommate has turned her life upside down like a tidal wave. Just a few days ago, her mood was like the rough sea in the painting, but now, her mood is like the calm shore of the painting. The knot that Jiasha had buried in her heart for many years was untied, and life returned to peace. From this, she understood a lot and matured a lot.
Jiasha is more confident in life.
Next, we discussed specific things, such as whether to move back to the original dormitory, how to adjust your mood by participating in different activities, and how to cope with the current pressure of study.
Through these discussions, Jiasha decided to negotiate with the landlord to move to the accommodation as soon as possible. At the same time, she also plans to attend more friends' gatherings in the past two weeks. To help Her adjust her mood, I wrote letters to her two classroom teachers asking them to delay Her homework to make sure she was concentrating on relaxing her emotions. In addition, I called some of my friends and asked them to help Jiasha find a new place to stay.
At the last meeting, Jiasha told me, "I was worried that you, the big man, wouldn't be able to understand my little girl's mind very well, and now I don't worry about it anymore."
I replied, "I consulted for you, and I've always been worried that you won't be able to get rid of your mental troubles completely, and now I don't worry anymore." ”
Jiasha smiled heartily.
In the midst of this light-hearted laughter, I ended my consultation for Gaza.
Case studies
1. How Jiasha's "unfinished complex" is unraveled— atrial cleaning
The difficulty of psychological counseling is often that it reveals the mystery behind the appearance.
In the process, counselors often have to play the role of psychoanalysts, like Freud, to send out a series of thought-provoking questions that make people have an epiphany, thus untying one knot after another. So, Freud said, it makes sense that the goal of psychoanalysis is to make people find the conscious reasons behind unconscious behavior.
When I first consulted with Gaza, I always thought that her guilt about her roommate's death was entirely out of mourning, so I was naturally sad. As a result, I tried to use "Reality Therapy" to help her alleviate her guilt. But no matter how much I tried to persuade Jiasha not to blame herself too much for her roommate's death, she still couldn't jump out of the circle of self-blame and guilt.
Later, I switched to psychoanalysis and began to discuss with Her about the underlying factors of her guilt, only to find that it was essentially because she was compensating for her remorse for her cousin's death. It is this lack of catharsis of remorse that constitutes the "unfinished complex" in her subconscious, making her willing to endure the current torment of guilt.
At first, Jiasha was not clear about the subconscious role of this "unfinished complex", until I helped her understand the connection between the death of her roommate and the death of her cousin, and she completely vented the pain buried in the depths of her soul, thus unraveling the "unfinished complex" in her heart, and finally getting rid of the guilt of self-torment.
This reminds me of an American translation of "Dr. Edward" that I had seen in China in my early years, in which Dr. Edward's "unfinished complex" made him feel nervous as soon as he saw something in the shape of a horizontal strip. This knot of the heart cannot be shaken off by persuasion, and only by parsing it clearly can he finally attain liberation.
Similarly, in my counseling with Kasha, I did not "prescribe the right medicine" without clarifying her underlying motives for her roommate's death.
More importantly, through step-by-step questions and prompts, I helped Jiasha adjust to the extremes and deviations in her understanding. As a result, she finally gained peace of mind, got rid of her psychological baggage, and moved forward easily.
That's how I helped Jiasha unravel her "unfinished complex."
2. Why Does Jiasha's guilt have a lasting effect on her–the pain of not being able to speak
In most emotions, we usually focus on those that are easily recognizable and more explicit, such as anger, crying, self-harm, etc. More hidden emotions, such as guilt, self-blame, shame, etc., are easily ignored. Because these emotions are often deeply pressed into the depths of people's hearts, they travel like ghosts, and it is difficult to tell others in words and gain the understanding of others.
Over time, the impact on physical and mental health is enormous. Just like The case of Jiasha, because of the death of her cousin, it has been lurking in her subconscious. When a roommate has a similar event, it reactivates the emotional memory of the trauma in their brain, so that they cannot help themselves.
For the sad treatment of such an "unfinished complex", in addition to the dynamic interpretation of psychoanalysis, the empty chair technique of German Gestalt therapy (Gestalt therapy) can be used. Through role play and self-dialogue, we create a safe situational atmosphere, connect the deceased person and the current state of mind, let the chaotic thoughts integrate consciousness, and let the bad emotions be released.
unscramble:
Readers are invited to note the author's tips for this section:
The difficulty of psychological counseling is often that it reveals the mystery behind the appearance. How Is Jiasha's "Unfinished Complex" Unraveled – Atrial Cleanup! Why did Kasha's guilt have a lasting effect on her–the pain of not being able to speak!
If we analyze these few sentences together, you can see where the difficulty of solving psychological problems lies?
The reason is that the client cannot be aware of the activity of her subconscious, she cannot perceive, and outsiders, even her relatives, cannot eliminate the crux of the client's heart by the comfort of understanding from ordinary, ordinary life experience, because we cannot see what the content of the subconscious is.
Let's take the author's "atrial cleaning" to explain. Our beloved Chairman Mao once said, "If you do not fight anything reactionary, he will not fall." It's like dust on the ground. If the broom is not available, the dust will not run away on its own. (See the article "The Situation After the Victory of the War of Resistance Against Japan and Our Policy") Reactionaries are external things that we can see, but if you do not take action, you will not be able to achieve the goal of solving the problem. Another example is the medical clinical gastric lavage, which is aimed at those patients who are poisoned by taking drugs, which is also a condition that doctors can observe from the outside, and it can calmly take appropriate treatment methods. The great master of Freud's great psychoanalysis lies in the fact that he discovered that the subconscious mind of our human existence influences our thinking, emotions, and behavior, and if you do not visit it in depth and meticulously, you will not be able to find it, and you will not be able to solve the patient's illness. This is the difference between human mental illness and physical illness, just like when we play the game of "hide and seek" when we are young, the children who will hide are not easy to find. Catching him would take a lot of brains.
Therefore, the visible disease is relatively easy to solve, just like Hua Tuo's "scraping bone and healing poison" treatment for Cao Cao. For patients with psychological problems like Jiasha, do not carry out a more thorough "sweep" of the subconscious mind (please note that I use the "more thorough" statement, the content of the subconscious is difficult to completely clear), you can not return to the normal state of consciousness, this is the mystery of psychology, this is the superiority of psychological counselors, this is the uniqueness of psychological counseling technology!
The pain of not being able to speak, use the secret of not being able to speak - listening, observing, repeating, through the appearance of going deep into the inner layer! Complete the last mile of the "Unfinished Complex"!