Read | Let's go back to the juvenile era - the self-prologue of "Marlen Blossom Twenty-One"

Text/Gao Weisheng

In a person's life, there are always a few heavy words pressed in the heart, it makes people admire and precious, and the adolescent era is one of them. John Burroughs said: "The natural environment in which a man lives will eventually form part of his ego, and he has sown himself on the earth, and his emotional thoughts are all interconnected with it." "Everyone is in the long life, there are always times when they are tired, he stops and looks back. It's not about waiting, it's about searching for lost memories. The place of his birth is called home, and it is also his hometown. The joy left there, the faint sadness, becomes something beautiful. Every time you taste it, it tastes a different meaning. As John Burroughs said, "He has sown Himself on the earth" it is forever rooted there, does not drift away with time, and disappears.

People go to old age, rearranging the words of the past, each word is full of passion, they record the footsteps of their youth. It was as if I had traveled back in time, singing the songs of my childhood, catching fish by the Highland River, cutting vegetables in the wilderness, and cooking rice dumpling porridge on a small mud stove in the yard. The pictures of these memories are not painted by color, but by the lines of emotion, drawn with a stroke.

"In the backyard of June, there are dragonflies and butterflies flying around, and grasshoppers jumping around in the vegetable field. My mother made me a condom with a gauze net, specifically to catch dragonflies. I don't have classes in the afternoon, and I often spend time in the back garden, chasing dragonflies. The caught dragonflies, dressed in furry dog grass stems, are thrown into the pen to feed the chicks. Sometimes watch the vegetable bugs squirm on the leaves. I took two branches and threw them into the chicken pen with the vegetable worm, and the worm did not land, and a group of chickens rushed wildly. This passage writes about the joy of youth, carefree, holding up the dragonfly condom made by his mother, chasing dragonflies on the earth, without the weight of life, without knowing the painful time. Today's memory is a precious, many changes have taken place in the world, the family has also changed with the passage of time, the mother left us due to illness, looking at the pictures of these words, it seems to hear the mother's words, see her happy look.

Wang Mingke said: "The historical memory preserved by the literature is often only a historical memory of an orthodox and exemplary view. In a society, usually only a part of the population has the right to record and interpret history; this kind of history ignores the historical memory of many individuals and marginalized people. "Anthropologists say that individual memory, and social memory merge to form a large historical memory. I was born in the sixties, living in poverty, and my personal experience is inseparable from the background of the times.

I remember that it was autumn, leaving my hometown for many years, living on the bank of the Yellow River, seeing the scene of the autumn harvest on the ground, and recalling the bean leaves when I was a teenager, preparing for the winter firewood. In the drizzle, the nameless sadness spreads out, and the scene of the teenager is written. "I followed their example, gathered up a bunch of bean leaves, and soon the smoke billowed and filled the hole in it. The big fat rat, wretched from the mouth of the hole, fled through the smoke into the distance, I did not chase it, only interested in the soybeans in the hole. This is the first bucket of soybeans in the arm, and the bag containing the lunch box is brought and filled at once. "Every time I think about these days, I have sweet memories. Bitter, tired, now look back, but it is simple and unforgettable.

Memory can be deformed and even lost over time. The task of writing is to find each person's lost pieces, piece them together, and restore them to their original appearance. Emotion has temperature, there is color, and it never fades. With the pen of life, dipped in the "autobiographical memories" of his youth, he stored personal experiences, and many years later, recalled these experiences. Psychologists have spoken of the concept of "autobiographical memory," which refers to the mixed memory of complex life events of an individual, closely related to the self of memory. In 1924, psychologist Zhang Yaoxiang proposed: "Food, games, learning, danger, punishment, illness, sadness seven things, the most memorable", most of these seven kinds of memory content are closely related to self-experience, these seven contents, almost generalized juvenile age.

As people get older, they come to the conclusion that they still haven't gotten far enough, and that's where they grow. When going back in time to the past, there are many things that exist in the memory, and there is no time in time that has become an immigrant. Memories of adolescence are not blind little joys, small happiness. It is a recast of life, a search for the soul, a search for a quiet place of the soul. These words are not touching, it is real, without any pale fiction. Emotions are not fake, do not make a show.

Carl Jaspers "In an age when the machines of life ruthlessly wipe out man one by one, the human body is demanding its rights. "Philosophers point out that in the contemporary era, I became for us when human nature was lost, there was no individuality in the era when people were group-effected, completely severing ties with the past. Our memories of our youth are not only the memories of old age, but also the long loneliness.

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