Recently, the Ministry of Education has included depression screening in the scope of students' physical examinations. Depression is once again in the spotlight. When it comes to depression, parents' reactions are mostly the following:
When children are unhappy, say that depression will not be!
In adolescence, irritability and disobedience are normal, and it is good to survive this period!
Teenagers don't know the taste of sorrow, now the living conditions are good, everything is satisfied, how can they be depressed?
Well? Is there so much depression?
Depression is not a niche disease. Survey results show that the lifetime prevalence of depression in China is 6.8%. In 2020, the detection rate of adolescent depression in China was 24.6%, of which severe depression was 7.4%.
Too many parents of the same type: children who have refused to go to school, who have been criticized or educated with sticks, have not helped, and have intensified their behavior and harmed themselves. But when asked when the abnormality began, many people replied that "it is not clear", or felt that "it has always been fine", and "suddenly" did not go to school.
In fact, the child's distress signal has long been sent, and it has been gently skipped by the parents! By the time of the outbreak, it had developed to a certain extent.
Today, we're going to talk seriously about adolescent depression.
Is depression a long-term depression?
Depression, also known as depressive disorder, is a type of affective disorder.
It has three core symptoms: low mood, loss of pleasure, and loss of interest. For example, when you eat your favorite food, you don't feel it; you are usually a basketball enthusiast, and you have no interest in playing basketball...
Specific to adolescents, it may manifest as:
1, how can not be happy for a period of time.
2. Lose interest in the things around you. (Lack of activity and socialization, including indifference to social relations, alienation from relatives, friends, classmates, and teachers)
3. Cognitive function is impaired. Loss of learning memory, inattention in class and homework, unresponsiveness, decreased creativity.
4. Insomnia, loss of appetite, weight loss (except for deliberate weight loss) and other physiological abnormalities.
What is rebellion and what is depression, and how to distinguish it?
Let's start with the characteristics of adolescent psychological development. Children aged 12 to 18, faced with the conflict of role confusion between the same pair of roles, are seeking "self-identity" (also known as "self-identity"), which is a psychological concept. That is to say, the child should coordinate and integrate all aspects of his own (ability, personality, etc.) to form a unified and complete self that is different from others.
In the process of this mental development, there may be manifestations of exclusion, defense, and tolerance, and the negative emotions in it require positive guidance from the family, society, and school.
distinguish
Adolescent rebellion
It is more of an external attack, such as disobeying the orders of parents or teachers, and establishing their own ideas and concepts by breaking through a "bondage" and violating a "rule". Therefore, it is mostly manifested as "disobedience" and so on.
depression
It is more of an internal self-attack, mainly manifested in the denial and doubt of self-worth. There is a long period of emotional depression, lack of interest, lack of concentration, etc., and there may also be disobedience, resistance, etc. like rebellion, but in essence, the spearhead is still aimed at oneself.
Some parents have a sense of shame and fear about their child's depression, are unwilling to accept it, and therefore deny the symptoms and understand it as adolescent rebellion.
How do you tell the difference between the two?
There is an easier way to do this: see if the duration of the above symptoms is more than 2 weeks. After 2 weeks, it is recommended to seek medical treatment, seek professional help, make a medical diagnosis, and determine whether it is depression.
These behaviors can be distressing signs for depression!
01
There is a problem with learning behavior
Lack of energy is easy to fatigue, attention and concentration difficulties, resulting in a decline in grades, learning initiative weakened. Here, a large proportion of students with good grades are prone to problems.
02
Decreased interest
Previous hobbies are no longer interested (singing, painting, or other hobbies).
03
Run away from home
Suddenly run away from home, or suddenly leave school. Escape or resist in this extreme way.
04
Become an Internet addicted teenager
Indulge in mobile or computer games. Such children are likely to have not received "immediate satisfaction" in real life, and their pleasure is lacking.
05
Reckless, risky behavior
There are "crazy behaviors" that do not match the age, such as impulsive and reckless driving, learning from adults in TV dramas, alcoholism, and drug abuse.
06
Violent, behavior becomes violent
Some children will become aggressive and violent. It can usually occur in boys who are being bullied.
07
Love self-denial
Think that you are doing everything wrong, useless, or blame yourself for anything wrong.
08
Produce extreme thoughts and behaviors
For example, hurting one's own body (knife cuts, sharp scratches, etc.) or even short-sightedness. Self-harm is a manifestation of psychological pain, but it is not equal to suicide, and if it is not properly channeled, it may develop into suicide or accidental death.
In addition, the psychological pressure is too large, and some physical discomfort may occur, such as head and neck dull pain, chest tightness and shortness of breath, atypical facial pain, chronic low back pain and so on. This should also be taken seriously.
These common words of parents are stingers for their children!
When children fall behind in learning, make mistakes, or like to do things that are not recognized by parents, parents often use these language "violent tricks" to criticize and educate children:
【Blocking】
"Listen to me, I'm all for your own good!" "You're just too squeamish, habitual!"
What the child does is denied by the parents, does not listen to the child's explanation, does not analyze why, and takes a sentence to block.
【Push】
"Idle, what do you want to do all that mess all day?" "If you want to start something, your mind is on learning!"
There's a poignant self-description about depression: Nobody thinks I'm sick, they just think I'm thinking too much.
When the child is wronged, or encounters unhappy things, parents do not pay attention to it, thinking that the child is making a big fuss. You know, some things are "small things" in the eyes of adults, but they are big things for children. In addition, children's ability to self-regulate emotions is far less than that of adults, and they need timely guidance.
【Ratio】
"Look at the others! Others can, why can't you? "How can you be so useless?" Is not hard work! ”
When the child does not do well in the exam (even if he works hard, but does not meet the expectations of his parents), he compares the baby of others, which is easy for the child to have a self-worth negation.
【Complaints】
"If it weren't for you, I would have... (It's a lot better than it is now)"
Anxiety and loss in parents' career transfer or their own growth. Many parents, who have not achieved the imaginary "getting ahead", transfer this resentment to their children.
【Pressure】
"Mom and Dad because of you, both... (Sick/resigned/made such a big sacrifice)"
This will make the child more stressed and more self-blamed, especially in the usual good children who study well, understand things, and are well-behaved.
【Hate】
"I knew you were so disobedient, I shouldn't have been angry with you in the first place!"
This sentence is not ordinary to the child's lethality, the child will think that the parents do not love him, do not want to raise him, think that they are not worthy of being loved, be treated well.
To prevent depression, do more of this!
Adults have many ways to release and dispel negative emotions, and adolescents, because they have not yet established a complete and independent personality, are mentally immature, coupled with school control, parental discipline, huge pressure on schoolwork, adolescent hormone levels and other factors, it is difficult for them to freely and correctly vent their emotions, which requires more understanding and support from the closest people in the family.
Adolescent depression is not only depressed mood, impermanence, it is a disease, will cause harm to children's psychological and physical health, seriously affect learning, life. To keep your child healthy, we recommend that parents do more:
1. Care more and accompany your children.
The care and companionship mentioned here is not just to let the child eat well and drink well, but to take time out every day (even if it is only ten or twenty minutes), communicate with the child, ask the child's learning feelings, and ask the child's needs (such as interests, hobbies, etc.). For example: Did you have a good day? Did you encounter any difficulties? When children encounter difficulties, make it clear: Don't be afraid, Mom and Dad will always be on your side and support you!
2, listen more, do not preach.
In the process of telling, children should not interrupt, rush to start criticizing education, listen patiently, and actively guide on the basis of respecting children.
3. Participate in outdoor activities with your children.
Proper outdoor exercise, or exposure to nature, can help soothe emotions, strengthen parent-child communication, and enhance trust between each other.
4. Create a warm and pleasant family atmosphere.
In adolescent patients, the two major factors that cause depression are in addition to academic pressure and family disharmony. Parents often quarrel, and even anger at their children, which will directly affect the child's emotions.
The 2018 National Survey on the State of Family Education shows the importance of a warm home for eighth graders.
Doctors remind: Once the child has abnormalities and lasts for more than 2 weeks, it is necessary to treat the child as soon as possible!
(Source: Healthy Hubei Editor: Lv Yanli)