Qiong Yao wrote in her autobiography "My Story": "I once had an agreement with my teacher (Qiong Yao's first love) that if the two of us could not cultivate the right results, one of us must write our story... I haven't seen him write a book in years. So I wrote it and fulfilled our wish. ”
The crystallization of this wish is Qiong Yao's first novel, "Outside the Window". Before writing "Outside the Window", she actually tried to write a long story, but she only wrote a beginning and then interrupted, because "I always feel that my heart is hot and baked, and I have a wish."
In the winter of the year when Qiong Yao was 25 years old, she finally wrote down the story of her first love that happened at 18 or 9. The first 14 chapters of "Outside the Window" are more faithful to her real life experience, and in Qiong Yao's view, this book records the most intense story in her life.
Many years later, she did not seem to be completely relieved, and wrote a song for her first love: "It is not easy to see, it is not easy to be different, relatively wordless, tearfully ..."
The first time I read Qiong Yao's novel "Outside the Window" was around the beginning of the 21st century.
But at that time, I only saw a few words, and I didn't read any more. Only because, from the words between the lines found that "Outside the Window" is a teacher-student love story, I can't help but substitute my serious, slightly rigid male teachers into the male protagonist "Kangnan", coupled with the influence of secular concepts, the more I look at it, the more uncomfortable I feel, and I simply put it down.
At that time, how could I expect that when I watched Qiong Yao's novel again a few years later, and watched the movie "Outside the Window" starring Lin Qingxia at the same time, I was completely moved by the "teacher-student love" that was once disdainful.
Why? First of all, the character of Connan completely broke my stereotype of a middle school teacher.
In appearance, he was quite temperamental—"Broad forehead, thick and slightly furrowed eyebrows, those eyes as deep and unfathomable as the sea, with wisdom and arrogance, the curved bow of the mouth, with stubborn and conceited firmness." ”
It's a rarity to grow like this! But he also has outstanding talent, poetry and songs are easy to hand, and even the comments on the compositions of students contain poetry.
More importantly, this teacher has flesh and blood. After being moved by the students, he will not "encroach" on the girl's body like the strange Shu in some film and television dramas, but loves deeply and restrained, afraid that he has "harmed" the female students;
Although he is forty years old, he has no lack of naïve state of mind, a pair of "tearful eyes", and he will become "stuck in the eighteen-year-old" when he falls in love - there is no way to change the book, there is no way to do everything, desire and fear, and there is a vulnerability that has never been...
Secondly, I think what moves people about this story is that it is shocking. It tells of a perverse relationship and the involuntary involuntary of the emotional person—"When love begins, we don't pay attention, and when we find out, we already love deeply." ”
In addition, it shows the obstacles on the road of a special love, such as the opposition of parents and the pressure of public opinion... Even Cheng Xinwen, the most deviant in the book (a friend of the heroine Jiang Yanrong), will accuse Kang Nan, who is in love with the student, of being "personalityless and unconscionable".
In the end, Mr. Kang Nan paid a huge price for the love that was not accepted by the public, he lost respect, love, and decent work, and became a "walking dead" person with poverty and loneliness.
The desolation of the end of the story makes people sigh, and people can't help but think and ask: "Is love beyond age guilty?" ”
Knowing that "Outside the Window" comes from reality, I have a gossip heart, and after watching books and movies, I naturally care about the fate of Connant's archetypal characters.
However, after some searching, I found that there was very little information about him on the Internet, and the source was basically not marked, making some of the relevant content seem not real and credible.
But there are also things that I find very credible, such as a female writer Chen Ruoxi's "Classmate "Qiong Yao" (this female writer is Qiong Yao's classmate in junior high school), which has a few notes on the follow-up story of Qiong Yao and the Teacher of Chinese Literature.
The general plot is: after Qiong Yao separated from the teacher, Chen Ruoxi went to the man's house on behalf of Qiong Yao to return a relic, and in a quick glance, Chen had a good impression of him. The following year, Chen Ruoxi's classmates bumped into the teacher again on Tainan Street, and his face was already haggard and old, which was sympathetic.
However, the story about the archetype of Kangnan, which is relatively popular on the Internet, is not this one written by Chen Ruoxi, but another one, please listen to me briefly.
In 1967 or 1968, Qiong Yao was ready to visit the sick Jiang Ren (the legendary Qiong Yao's first love was called this name) with her classmates, but later she was bound by some things and did not go, so she asked her classmates to bring a handwritten letter and 2,000 yuan. In the letter, she promised to send money to her teacher every month.
After that, Qiong Yao really sent money to Jiang Ren every month, and Jiang Ren did not spend the money, but saved it, and then made himself a birthday coat, and said to his friend: "I will wear this life jacket that condenses feelings and die." ”
Around 1979, Jiang Ren died at the age of 66, and when he drove to the west of the crane, he put on his own custom-made birthday clothes as he wished.
It is undeniable that this legend is really moving, the original text is also written on the board and eyes, specific and detailed, but the authenticity is unknown.
However, even if it is a fabrication, it can reflect the influence of "Outside the Window" from the side. Just like the story of the Tang monk and the king of the daughter country, it will trigger the magazine to make up the past of actors Xu Shaohua and Zhu Lin.
"Outside the Window" is by no means Qiong Yao's self-congratulation. Do you know how hot it was? It is said that from 1963 to 1988, its influence spread throughout the Chinese world and triggered social topics.
Moreover, in Qiong Yao's autobiography, it can also be seen that the novel "Outside the Window" sold very well in that era (as shown below).
I think that any literary and artistic work can fire, it can not be just because it caters to people's curiosity, often, fire works have a commonality - strongly stir people's hearts. Such is the case with "Out of the Window".
When we look at it, we may be substituted by Qiong Yao into her world, empathizing with her characters Kang Nan and Jiang Yanrong, understanding and identifying with them. And will not be like the people around her in the real world, to reject and despise that breaks the norm of love.
So I was reminded of What Haruki Murakami said: Dig a well deep inside yourself, and as long as the well is deep enough, deep enough, to connect us to others.
Qiong Yao is a well digger, she can use words to connect the reader, the audience's heart, and herself. In this way, some of what was originally surprising to people has become more understandable.
Stories are really the antidote to this world.
Author: Xiao Dayu
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