Parents love each other, can let children harvest a life experience worth remembering for a lifetime; parents love each other, can let children in the happiness of parents, give birth to courage, confidence and spirit, add bricks to their own lives; see parents love each other, children can have a happy, rich and bright life.
Author: Lin Linqi XII (Parents Intensive Reading)
A few days ago, I went to my sister's house as a guest.
While chatting with her, the little nephew ran over and asked very seriously, "Mom, do you love me a little more or do you love daddy a little more?" ”
Of course, my sister said she loved him.
The child was very happy, and I found my brother-in-law a little embarrassed.
Thinking to myself, my brother-in-law was really careful.
My sister then said, "But I love my dad a little more." ”
The child said disappointedly, "Why? ”
My sister smiled and said, "Because Dad is my husband, Mom loves Dad, Dad loves Mom, and we will love you together." ”
The little nephew looked at my sister and nodded as if he understood.
At this time, the brother-in-law came over and laughed: "Little bunny cub, this is my wife, of course, I love me a lot." ”
The sister gave him a blank look and said, "He's a little bunny cub, what are you?" ”
The brother-in-law froze.
My sister and little nephew immediately laughed.
But I thought in my heart, this is what a happy family should look like.
A psychologist once said:
Parents love each other, is the way of a healthy family. The relationship between husband and wife is the needle in the family, and it is the first law of a healthy family.
In fact, it is his nature that a child wants to get more love from his parents.
Parents should tell themselves that they love him at the same time, but also tell their children who they love the most.
01
Let the child know that the parents love him
When watching "Where Daddy Goes", I like Chen Xiaochun and Jasper the father and son the most.
At the beginning, Chen Xiaochun was a father who lacked patience with his children and had a hot temper.
He simply does not express his love for his children.
Gradually, he woke up and changed himself little by little:
When his son held the horn and told him to "please stop getting angry", he began to apologize to his son;
When the son felt that the house they had chosen was shabby, he would tell stories of his childhood to comfort him;
When his son felt sorry for him and said" "Don't let Daddy get old", he shed tears, hugged his son and said "I love you".
Children always love their parents, but for too many parents, it is extremely difficult to say "I love you" to their children.
Psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein said: "Only love is not enough, do not express it, the child will not feel your love." 」 ”
Jasper is lucky, he used his innocence and patience to awaken Chen Xiaochun's love.
Wait until the father says the words "I love you."
But other children are not so lucky.
Remember that there is such a scene in "The Boy Says":
A girl on the platform, shouting loudly: Mom, I want to talk to you about the heart, can I?
She is a sports student who went to the city last month to play athletics and soccer matches. She did her best to take third place.
She very much hoped to get her mother's approval, however, her mother did not recognize her, and even harshly accused her of not getting the first place, which also affected her studies.
The mother told her daughter: Strict, so that you can become strong.
But for her daughter, she did not feel her mother's love at all, only the pressure and anger of her mother.
Her mother's harsh rebuke made her look at nothing, her inferiority complex made her look at herself without a place, and all she felt was the coldness of home and the viciousness of her mother.
In fact, parents want to make their children happy, but only let them see and feel love. They will experience the taste of being loved.
Children who do not receive the love of their parents spend their whole lives humbly seeking the love of others.
And those children who are valued, cared for and loved by their parents will no longer be lonely and helpless in the days to come, and their hearts will have expectations, their bodies will depend on them, and the years will refer to happiness.
02
Let the child know that the parents are in love
I know there is a popular Q&A: What is it like to have a pair of very loving parents?
The answers at the bottom are varied:
@joannaz：
At home, if my dad's name is: Baby. Don't even think about it, he must be calling my mother. Because if my dad called me... Wait, I don't even know what my dad would call me, I'm too little noticed by my father...
@Ye Luyou:
Usually at night, my mother would lean against the bedside and watch TV in the bedroom, next to the bedside table.
"Husband." The father quickly ran from the living room to the bedroom: "What's wrong?" ”
"I'm thirsty."
Without saying a word, the father took the cup and poured the water inside, took the hot water, and then some cold water, and then tried the temperature: drink it.
@Dong XVIII:
One day my father was fiddling with my family's flowers and plants, and said to my mother: They all say that the men who like to raise flowers have beautiful wives, and I need to raise more. My mom teased my dad: Raise more and marry a more beautiful one in the next life. My father's serious face: I don't want anyone, and I will marry you in the next life. I looked at my mom and smiled sheepishly. Have they ever thought about how I feel sitting on the couch!
@ A small orange:
Mom had surgery for a while, and Dad didn't sleep all night. When I came to the ward, I kept holding my mother's hand to tell her jokes and cook soup for my mother. When my mother first pushed out of the operating room, there was phlegm in her mouth, and my father didn't even think about it before he put his hand over and said: Spit in my hand.
Although the tone of each comment is envy and jealousy, there is a full sense of happiness and strong love between the lines.
Educator Dewey once said: In the growth of everyone's life, there is no more important teacher than parents. The best tutor is husband and wife love.
The family is the first school to cultivate the child's character, and letting the child see that the parents love each other is the first lesson of the child's character development.
The degree of parental affection is the temperature of the home. They will make the home look like the scenery of the four seasons.
Sometimes it is the gentleness of spring, the enthusiasm of summer, sometimes the freshness of autumn, the calmness of winter.
And children who grow up in such a family atmosphere see the love of their parents, and their hearts are naturally full of sunshine and love.
03
The more parents love each other, the happier the child will be in the future
The best home in the eyes of children is actually my father loving my mother, my mother loving me, and I grew up happily.
The cousin and the cousin are particularly affectionate, and the old husband and wife still hold hands when they go out.
The cousin eats the leftover meal, and the cousin will directly eliminate it. Because her cousin was confined, for more than thirty years, her cousin did not let her touch the cold water.
And my sister grew up in such an environment since she was a child, with good grades, a good personality, an orderly manner, and a generous treatment of people and things.
Many people have asked her: "How did your parents educate you so well?" ”
She smiled and replied, "Because my dad loves my mom a little more than he loves me." ”
Now that she is married, she has completely brought that happiness with her.
The brother-in-law will teach herself to make her favorite sauerkraut fish for the sake of her sister.
The sister will also carefully choose each tie for the brother-in-law.
They show affection at all times and sprinkle dog food at any time. Even the little nephews would say they were "not shy."
In her parents' eyes, there was only each other. And she, too.
It is precisely because her parents love each other that she will grow up happily and with peace of mind and continue to be happy.
Wu Zhihong said in "Why The Family Hurts People":
"Father, mother and child are emotional triangles, parents love each other, family harmony, then this child will inherit a very healthy pattern of love, and when he grows up, he will project this pattern of love into his love and family." 」
Parents should be able to share their love with their children, and let their children feel the magic of parental love in the moments of life.
Let children grow up in a loving environment and learn the ability to love in their parents, which is the luck of children and the responsibility of parents.
In this way, children can learn and grow with confidence, and have the strength to face life positively.
When you grow up, copy the love pattern between your parents into your own outlook on life and love, and re-replicate new happiness in the same way.
04
Mr. Yang Dai said in "Our Qian Zhen":
She and her husband Qian Zhongshu took their daughter Qian Zhen to a restaurant for dinner. The daughter saw a pair of parents arguing at the next table and said to her parents with great emotion:
"I've always felt fortunate that a child loved by her parents is lucky because she's seen what good feelings are like, so she has a keen sense of healthy love and then knows how to run in the right direction."
So I am especially grateful to Mom and Dad, because you are in love with each other, Qinser and Ming, so I feel that I am a lucky child. ”
What children want most is not to have fun toys and good clothes. Instead, his parents were with him, plain and plain, and they loved each other.
A family, if the parents love each other, then the daily chicken and garlic skin, oil, salt and vinegar, is also a romantic companionship.
Parents love each other, so that children can harvest a life experience worth remembering for a lifetime.
Parents love each other, so that children in the happiness of parents, give birth to courage, confidence and spirit, for their own life to contribute to the bricks and tiles.
Seeing parents love each other, children can have a happy, abundant and bright life.
Therefore, may the parents of the world love your other half a little more.
Because the best way for children to know how to love is to love the one who loves you.
Author's profile: Lin Linqi TWELVE, columnist of Fushu, a post-80s middle-aged bao dad who hopes to run on the text, his heart is like a tiger, sniffing the roses. This article was first published by Parents Intensive Reading, Parents Intensive Reading Department Headline Number Signed Author, Article Source: Parents Evolution (id: bmjhlc) This article is copyrighted by Fushu, unauthorized, may not be reproduced, infringement must be investigated, Fushu 2018 launched a new book "Good Life"