Lucky people are healed by childhood throughout their lives.
The education of parents is crucial to the growth of their children. Children who grow up in loving families have a strong sense of self-confidence and security that children who lack love cannot learn in a lifetime. Lack of love in youth, adulthood, basically in vain.
Recently, I watched two news about divorce, and it was a bit heartbreaking.
Couples sue for divorce without wanting children
Divorce is never allowed in the first instance of the court!
It is understood that the parties in the case are a post-90s couple in Zhenjiang, Jiangsu Province. The two registered their marriage in 2016 and gave birth to a daughter the same year. In recent years, the couple has been at odds with each other, often quarreling over trivial matters of life and separating since April 2020.
The contradictions between the two sides became more and more growing, and the wife, Ms. Liu, sued the Yangzhong Municipal People's Court in Zhenjiang, Jiangsu Province, for divorce, and the husband, Mr. Zhao, also explicitly agreed to the divorce.
There is not much dispute between the two parties over the joint property and joint debts of the couple, but surprisingly, neither of them is willing to raise their daughters who are in good health.
Ms. Liu said that her income is not high, her mother is not in good health, and she is unable to raise her daughter; Mr. Zhao said that she often travels on business, her parents are older, and the children are girls, and it is more conducive to growing up with her mother.
In this regard, the judges organized several unsuccessful mediations. The Yangzhong court held that the relationship between the husband and wife had broken down, and although they both agreed to divorce, the child was still young, and in view of the fact that the two failed to properly resolve the issue of child care, the court ruled in the first instance not to grant divorce.
So can the court directly award the child to one of the spouses for support?
Wang Shuanglei, assistant judge of the Yangzhong Municipal People's Court who tried the case, told the General Radio reporter that according to state laws, in divorce cases, the criterion for judging whether the relationship between husband and wife should be dissolved is whether the relationship between husband and wife has broken down.
"However, divorce cases do not only involve the feelings of husband and wife, but also generally include how to divide the marital property and how to bear the debts of the husband and wife. Another very important issue is the upbringing and visitation of minor children. Properly handling the issue of children is no less important than whether or not to grant divorce to both spouses. ”
With regard to child support issues, the people's courts shall proceed from the protection of the lawful rights and interests of the children, and properly resolve them in light of the specific circumstances such as the parents' ability to support them and the conditions for their support.
Wang Shuanglei said that the relevant judicial interpretation of the Supreme People's Court on the Civil Code stipulates that in divorce proceedings, if both men and women refuse to raise their children, the court may first rule that one party should temporarily raise them.
Wang Shuanglei pointed out that in this case, from the perspective of economic conditions and time spent with the child, the parenting conditions of both husband and wife are basically the same, and the child has not established a special support relationship with either party, but the attitude of both parties who are unwilling to raise the child is relatively clear. If the court imposes a judgment on the man or woman, the custodian will inevitably regard the child as a burden and will not be conducive to the child's development.
Some netizens are worried that after the court judgment, parents will sprinkle fire on their children, in this regard, Wang Shuanglei said that parents are not willing to raise children after divorce, which does not mean that they do not love children. "Not raising" can be limited for a variety of reasons, and "not loving" are two completely different situations.
Wang Shuanglei said that in this case, both husband and wife do not want children to have "an element of gambling gas". "In fact, both people love children, and when the woman sues, she clearly asks for a judgment to be awarded to the man."
During the mediation process, we learned that the woman was indeed not very financially very good. After the man saw the woman's attitude, he also said that he would not raise the child, and the conditions they mentioned to each other were obviously of a gambling nature. ”
The case has now passed the appeal period and the plaintiff has not filed an appeal.
His parents divorced, and the 13-year-old boy wrote an "application" to the judge: I want to live with my mother.
On May 12, 2021, the Yangdian Court of the People's Court of Lingbao City, Henan Province, successfully mediated a divorce case, but the judge undertook the case without the happiness of resolving the conflict as before, but with mixed feelings. It all started with an "application" written to the judge by the client's 13-year-old son.
His parents divorced, and the 13-year-old boy wrote an "application" to the judge: I want to live with my mother
In the letter, the boy said that he did not want his parents to divorce, "If I must sentence my parents to divorce, I will live with my mother." Because, he is afraid that his 8-year-old brother is not used to his mother, and "I am grown up, and I will not have trouble with my mother (life)."
In 2006, Ning Mou (female) and Liu Mou (male) met, held a wedding in 2008, and had their first child in the same year, that is, the boy who wrote the letter above. In May 2013, the second son was born. After marriage, the two quarreled over trivial matters, lacked communication with each other, and the feelings of the husband and wife became increasingly weak for many years.
In March 2016, Ning and Liu officially separated, and the two sons have been raised by Liu's mother. Over the years, Ning has never given a child a penny or even seen a child.
In April 2018, Ning went to court to sue for divorce from Liu. Considering that the husband and wife still have the possibility of reconciliation, the judge did not allow the two to divorce, but lacked communication, and from the perspective of the child's growth.
In April 2021, Ning sued again. During the mediation process, the defendant Liu mou said: "The plaintiff has repeatedly filed for divorce, and the person cannot keep his heart, agree to the divorce, and hope that the judge can take into account the 'application' written by the eldest son." "
In the end, both parties agreed to dissolve the marriage by consensus, and according to the "application" of the eldest son, he was raised by the mother and the younger son was raised by the father.
Parents are originally the closest people in the world to their children, but because of the discord between husband and wife, divorce, abandon the child, this is absolutely undesirable.
The family is a system as a whole, and as the weakest member of the family, the child can easily become a victim of the power terminal in the system. Parents divorce, the overall system is destroyed, parents in this special period, more attention to the children.
No matter whether the relationship between husband and wife survives or not, since the birth of a child, have the courage to take on the responsibility of being a parent and give the child more love as much as possible! Let children grow up in a loving family, so that they have a strong sense of confidence and security, and resist the impermanence of the world!
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