"Infidelity and amorousness are instinctive?" This is just an excuse for the parties.
The instinct we often talk about is not actually acquired, but an organism's intrinsic tendency to a particular behavior, such as escape, courtship, etc. Is infidelity and sentimentality really motivated by instinct?
Psychologist Freud believed that the pursuit of pleasure was a human instinct. So is infidelity and amorous because of the pursuit of pleasure? After the infidelity, after the end, are you really happy? Be merciful everywhere, weedy, are you really happy? Don't you feel the emptiness behind it?
In this era of love fast food, learn to keep your loneliness and control yourself.
We can't always like the same song, the same scrambled egg with tomatoes, the same person, just like playing games can't always play the same hero, it's always boring.
Some people say that in love, the love of women will gradually rise, and men will gradually weaken their love for each other. And where has the man's love gone, maybe it has disappeared, maybe it is in other new objects. This statement that men become obsessed with new sexual partners can be explained by the Coolidge effect.
The Coolidge effect refers to the phenomenon of male animals having sex with a new spouse immediately after sexual intercourse, that is, if a new partner who may be conceived appears, the refractory period after sex will be shortened and will continue to be in high-pitched sexual desire.
A scientist once conducted an experiment with a white mouse, and the results of the experiment showed that both males and females would also produce the Coolidge effect, but the degree of females was not as obvious as that of males.
The above shows that the vast majority of mammals in "sexual interaction" will crave freshness, stimulation, so that dopamine can be constantly secreted; if only facing the same object, this hormone will decline rapidly.
It's like we set our favorite songs as ringtones on our phones, keep repeating them, and soon we won't want to listen to them again;
When you fight the glory of the king, you always win, and you will soon feel bored.
The factor that triggers the Coolidge effect is novelty itself, or the decline in dopamine. If you give you a new stimulus when you feel bored, maybe you will fall out of control with that stimulus.
It can be explained by the fact that the higher the dopamine threshold, the harder it is to feel happy. In layman's terms, after playing for a long time, you will be tired, invincible and lonely, at this time, you will stimulate your threshold by playing bigger and bigger, that is, from changing the degree of stimulation, stimuli, scenes and other aspects to stimulate your threshold.
When faced with the same partner or sexual partner many times, the secretion of dopamine will decrease, so you will feel bored and bored, and then you will enter a "sage mode", that is, enter the state of no desire and no desire; if you want to achieve the same level of pleasure, then you need higher stimulation, that is, the emergence of new objects, which is the reason for infidelity and amorous.
Did you find out? In fact, infidelity and sentimentality are only because you can't control your dopamine threshold, you can't stand the dullness and boredom of passion fading, you can't stand the invincibility and loneliness after the peak experience, you can't stand the "three points and one line" and "unchanged".
Everyone knows the "seven-year itch", but some researchers have found that a relationship begins to fade after six months, which is the first watershed faced by every relationship, if a boy does not like you enough at first, but because the freshness is with you, then after 6 months, the freshness disappears, he is likely to choose to leave you.
The pursuit of freshness is driven by the dopamine threshold, but maintaining freshness is what we should do seriously and responsibly for a relationship; in love, you can be touched by other people, but loyalty to love is the gesture we should have, and maybe your partner is also rejecting his admirer.
I don't know if you have found that what really brings us more happiness is not the final reward, but the time when the reward is coming. It's not so much that dopamine makes you happy, but that dopamine gives you motivation.
For example, long-distance couples, on the train to meet the object, when waiting for the object to find themselves, the level of excitement generated is far greater than the excitement of meeting, which makes both parties more eager to meet each other quickly, the so-called "love across the mountains and seas, mountains and seas can be worn."
If you've lost the freshness to your partner and can't get pleasure from having sex with your partner anymore, try injecting anticipation into your sex.
Finally, what we have to do is to learn to accept dopamine and not be manipulated by the dopamine threshold, and to learn not to be dominated by reproductively driven sexual desire.
Ah Yue and her good friend Man Man went for a walk. Under the moonlight, Ah Yue asked, "You have been together for five years, why are you still so tired and crooked, and won't you get tired of it?" ”。
Manman shook his head, looked down and smiled, and said, "Actually, sometimes I think about giving up, especially when I look at his sloppy appearance, but whenever I listen to every trivial thing he shares with me about him, and open the small gift he gave and take him to the long-awaited small restaurant, I still feel novel, expectant, and moved." ”
Love is actually a process of love and hate in the process of constantly falling in love with the same person, and the experience of freshness can actually be applied to the same person.
There are many forms of love, don't feel helpless because she is just her, but feel at ease because she is her.
We also thought about being seduced by the world, but he/she was also your "world".