The author of "My Friends Are a Little Noisy" is Nicholas John Fries, who loves to travel and draws the customs and customs of the places he travels to. Therefore, looking at his works, you can not only read interesting stories, but also often appreciate the exotic style.
This picture book "brought" us into the rainforest of Peru, where we could see many of the local animals and plants.
For animal-loving children, animals such as the less common and cute villied monkey, jaguar, tree frog, and flat-faced fruit bat may be no less attractive than the story itself.
When I read this picture book with my daughter, my daughter was often attracted to these animals.
Even after turning to the last page, she turned back page after page with great interest, "searching" for those cute animals like a treasure hunt.
The story in the picture book takes place between two cute animals, the Andean bear and the Peruvian hummingbird.
Big Bear became more and more annoyed with his chattering hummingbird friends, and after a great anger, he resolutely left; but this did not make Big Bear happier, he felt lonely, began to miss his friends, missed friendships; and finally, the bears and hummingbirds who learned to understand each other resumed their friendship.
The story is simple, beautiful, and educational, and seems to convey to young readers the "positive energy" of cherishing friendship and understanding friends.
At least that's what I thought when I first read the picture book with my daughter.
Based on this idea, after reading the picture book, I wasted no time in pouring a few bowls of "chicken soup for the soul" into my daughter.
Effect, very good.
My daughter seemed to be convinced, and not only did she not refute me, but she also said yes.
On the one hand, this shows that the picture book story has been "moisturized and silently" educated to my daughter; on the other hand, it also shows that my "chicken soup" method is good, not hurried, so that "drinkers" are very enjoyable.
My daughter's good feedback made me a little smug, proud, and naturally wanted to expand the "battle results".
So I asked my daughter, "Aren't the two of us a bit like a bear and a hummingbird?" ”
"Like!" The daughter nodded firmly.
I am not at all surprised by this answer. I have a great relationship with my daughter and often act like a friend.
"Who is more like a hummingbird?" I asked again.
"You!" The daughter replied emphatically.
My daughter's answer caught me off guard and we started "arguing".
"How can that be?!"
I listed the fact that she was more like a hummingbird:
Like chasing me to ask this and ask that;
When sharing the sofa, I often protest that I have more space;
……
Not to be outdone, my daughter said why I was more like a hummingbird:
Every morning she was called out to get up;
Always remind her to do homework and brush her teeth;
The "quarrel" is not fierce, and even has a sweet taste, but it is also mixed with obvious intransigence.
In this "quarrel", I suddenly realized a problem: my daughter and I don't like to listen to other people's nagging!
After realizing this problem, I thought about the people I knew and contacted. I also found that almost no one likes to be nagged in front of them, although some people miss the nagging of some relatives.
But those nostalgia are also after being away from the nagging relatives, and at the time of nagging, almost everyone is bored. At least, none of the people I know well like to listen to nagging.
Thinking about it, I seem to understand why the author "let" the bears and not the hummingbirds go away.
Because, the nagging hummingbird is even more annoying!
China has the ancient adage of "think twice before acting" and "the words of the Ji people are widowed", and there is a saying that "silence is golden" in foreign countries, all of which have the meaning of persuading people to talk less nonsense and not to nag.
Modern psychological research can also confirm that even if the listener is convinced of the goodwill of the nagging, they will still be disgusted by the repeated nagging in their ears.
Therefore, in the story, the bear is determined to cut off the relationship with the hummingbird, not only because the bear does not understand the friend, does not cherish the friendship, the hummingbird nagging is also an important reason.
In the real world outside the story, the breakdown between friends is sometimes similar. It's just that reality often doesn't have a happy ending like a story.
Once the friendship between the "big bear" and the "hummingbird" in the real world is broken, it is often difficult to repair.
The "hummingbird" in reality often does not realize his own problems after the friends leave, but only feels that the friends are too ruthless, so he holds a grudge, and it is almost impossible for him to quietly follow his former friends like the hummingbirds in the story.
In reality, the "big bear", he may miss the friendship or feelings he once had at some special times. But it's usually just nostalgia, and almost no one who has escaped nagging is willing to go back in time.
Less nagging and being a less annoying person.
I think that's what the author is trying to convey to the readers.
In the picture book story, hummingbirds realize that they have a problem with their mouths. He assured Big Bear that he would try to be quiet, and he was really trying to change.
Although the hummingbird in the story does not actually become quiet, his friend Big Bear sees his efforts to manage friendships, and Big Bear, as a friend, is willing to work on it.
The big bears and hummingbirds in the story are not perfect, the big bears are a bit stingy and mean, and the hummingbirds are a bit willful and mouthy.
However, they can all be considerate of each other and are also trying to manage friendship, so the friendship between them can still continue.
In the real world, the various intimate relationships between people, such as friends, marriages, etc., are similar in their business principles.
Harmonious intimacy does not require perfection in each other, but it requires mutual understanding and joint efforts.
Of course, real-world relationships are far more complex than picture book stories, because real people are more difficult to realize their shortcomings.
For example, nagging people are almost never aware of, much less willing to admit, that they are nagging.
For example, my daughter and I both feel that the other party is the "hummingbird" that nags and talks a lot.
Because thinking consumed part of my brain power, the speed of my "quarrel" with my daughter became much slower and the tone of my voice was much lower. My daughter gradually gained the upper hand, and I gradually lost the interest of continuing to argue.
My daughter, who felt that she had won a great victory in the "quarrel" with her father, seemed to be in a good mood, and she was very "generous" to appease me, the loser:
"Although you are a bit wordy like a hummingbird, I still love you very much."
At this time, I remembered the original intention of the topic I had just provoked. I was going to tell my daughter that sometimes you nag like that hummingbird, sometimes it bothers me, but if I don't see you for a few days, I will miss you like a big bear missing a hummingbird.
I didn't want to spoil my daughter's joy after the victory, but I was "careful" to tell my daughter my intentions.
My daughter did not contradict me this time, and the joy after the victory did not seem to diminish in the slightest.
I suddenly wanted to tell my daughter the truth that I had just thought of, "don't be too nagging", but after thinking about it, I decided to forget it for the time being.
I really don't have the confidence to be able to explain this truth in a way that is not nagging, so I will try to become "nagging" myself.
Of course, I will remember these lessons I learned from the book "My Friends Are A Little Noisy", especially the "Don't be too nagging" section.
I think I'll also try to figure out how I can make this clear in a non-nagging way, and when I think about it, maybe I'll tell my daughter too.
Do you have a good way to "reason without nagging"?
My Golden Wheat Field Welcome to your frequent visits and thank you for your interest.