Whenever war and love are the two major themes of human beings, as a person who has come over, it has become a responsibility related to self-interest to talk about the understanding and perception of love. I have always believed in the truth that true knowledge is folk; it is not written on the blackboard or in books.
Ask a simple question: When is it right to start a relationship? You won't find the answer in the books. When you were in junior high school, your teacher told you that early love is not right. In high school, your teacher told you that our university is a garden, and the other half of life has to find where to find. When you were in college, your teacher told you: start a career first, and then start a family. Only a solid material foundation can guarantee the fragrance of love. Now that you've graduated, you're busy making a living, and you don't have a suitable candidate around you. If you're mm, it's not hard to marry out casually. If you are GG, then I tell you: you have become a glorious quasi-single stick, and all of our male compatriots thank you for the sacrifice you have made for everyone.
Are you willing to sit down and listen to my nonsense? Attitude is important. You can catch me by saying something wrong and typing a wrong word to quote the scriptures to refute me and conclude that I am. Tell you what, I am Forrest Gump with an IQ of only 85, the idiot in "Dust Settled". It doesn't matter, what matters is that you can understand something in my words, understand some truth. Only then can you prove that you are not an SB. The most studious people in the world understand that they are ignorant, and the most stupid people in the world think that others are dumber than themselves. If you understand this, let's get started.
What is love and how is it different from liking? Whether appreciation and affection are prerequisites for love.
Appreciation, affection, like, love. These four are usually distinguished only in degree, and they are considered to be chain structures. I would say that such a mindset is wrong. For each thing and emotion, we should analyze and distinguish it as a part independently, and finally find out whether it is related to others. Simply looking at the above four is a step in degree, which is easy to blur the concept. After breaking the traditional flat thinking, we focus on love, so let's take it out as the main body. What is love? I think it's divided into two parts: feelings and feelings.
Let's say I burn you with a cigarette butt now, and you know it's called "pain." Pain is a feeling, and the role of sensation is to give the bearer a drive. If you add a spoonful of salt to the fish tank, it's easy to see the power of this drive. The feeling is innate. As far as love is concerned, it is also affected by the environment of personal growth: some people can stimulate you, and some people cannot stimulate you.
What is affection? Another analogy: you pick up an injured kitten on the side of the street. You carry it home to heal it, so it depends on you. After a few months like this, it was killed by the little P-child next door to your house; you were heartbroken. We say you developed feelings for this kitten.
Under strict regulations. Love must be produced first by feelings. A beautiful woman (handsome guy) appears in your life. Her (his) smile, every word and deed stimulates you, so you have an urgent hope: "FOREVER WITH YOU." ”
There is not necessarily a causal relationship between feelings and feelings, or even a relationship. Ordinary people often regard love as a single feeling, which is wrong. Complete love must have both. Feelings are hard to produce, but feelings can be cultivated.
Take "Dream of the Red Chamber" to open the knife. Baoyu GG's first words when he saw Lin MM were: "I've seen this sister!" "This is the feeling, the feeling that hundreds of people up and down the Jia Mansion who made white jade as a bed and gold as a horse could not reverse it." The author of this feeling is directly attributed to fate, and it is customary to analyze it. The premise of its production is: the similarity of the growth environment, the same outlook on life and the world view, the attainment of poetry and song... Wait, wait, such two people meet, too coincidental. Too coincidental that is fate, all are the old spirits on the Three Stones. As for our attitude of not seeking much understanding, I will talk about it later.
After this, Baoyu developed feelings for Dai Yu and Bao Chao at the same time, but he finally chose who did not ask. Assuming that there is no appearance of Lin MM, can Baoyu have a complete love? The world thinks the answer is yes, and I'm skeptical. We know that under the shackles of traditional Chinese etiquette, love and marriage are the words of parents. Feelings are certain, but feelings are not necessarily.
Love thus produces two mutilated patterns: only feelings and only feelings. You have a crush on someone, and that's only the mutilation of feelings. You came together respectfully, and that was only the mutilation of feelings.
What happens when a love with only feelings meets a love with feelings? You can search for posts like "N years of feelings lost to M months". In fact, from the second they meet, the loss is already doomed, and the rest of the time is superfluous. This means that nature or reason drives everyone to choose feelings and then cultivate them. Of course, why there is no feeling between you, it may be that it has never been, it may be lost. I won't discuss this yet.
I'll leave that for now on about love. What's next is to like. To understand what liking is, you have to come up with a philosophical theory of ethics. I say like is a naturalistic cognition, a relationship of mutual use. Simply put, it is "benefit". This is what you derive from past experience and theory. It's like a bun for a hungry ghost, a box of RMB for me. If you see my ID and know it's the name of a game, you also like to play games, so you like me. Love, on the other hand, is non-epistemological cognition. It's that you think good is good, and you don't need any reason. As you see my ID is inexplicably annoying. The feeling of liking is more likely to stem from desire, while the feeling of love comes directly from the attraction of the opposite sex.
It should be noted that love often contains likes, and likes can be said to be part of love, but by no means all. The two can be fused or separated. You can simply like one thing, a person, and not love them. Let's say a guy is desperately pursuing you, and you don't have feelings for him or her. Because you get all the benefits from him or her, you have a special feeling that comes more from desire and indebtedness. I say you just like him or her and don't love him or her because you will waver in the face of the greater good, and the reason is that you simply don't have the consciousness of sacrificing for him or her. You can search for articles like "Should I give up on him or her", "Which one should I choose?".
If love and liking are two different things stored under the C drive D disk. Appreciation and goodwill are optional in the guide area. Neither is a sufficient condition of love nor an inevitable condition of love. Even if you don't appreciate and feel good, you will have feelings of love for someone, and even if you have it, you may not fall in love with someone. So a person says to you, "I appreciate you. Or, "I have a crush on you." "You must not think otherwise.
From above you should know: there is no so-called realm of love, let alone the highest realm. It's just a feeling in the first place. For example, it was cold today. Cold is also a feeling. A Guangzhou man came out and was blown by the wind and shouted, "It's so cold." "You shouldn't laugh at him, and you shouldn't think that the kind of ice frozen in the north is called cold." If you think so, the Eskimos will laugh. If the Eskimos laughed, the Martians laughed even more... Absolute cold can only be approached infinitely and cannot actually be attained. There is no one whose cold is more real than anyone's. In the same way, the feeling of having love is love, and there is no one whose love is higher than whose realm. Only a comparison of degrees can be made reluctantly, but given the different experiences of individuals, such a comparison is of little value.
On the attitude of not seeking much understanding. This is unique to Chinese. In the West, people are accustomed to having philosophy before science. Any of their theories can be systematically proved. We can't, because we think that human beings already have science while having logical thinking, even before that. An old farmer, even if he had not studied chemistry, knew what fertilizer was missing at a glance at the land; an old sailor, even if he had not studied astronomy, looked at the sky to see if it would rain. It is because of the intrusion of Western culture that a lot of our "knowledge" has been lost. I personally believe that philosophy should not limit science, and theory should not restrict experience. Like my article, it doesn't need to be as standardized as the paper, and it can make everyone understand what I mean. Chinese gods don't have wings, so why can they fly? That's not the point.