The impact of doubt on relationships

What is the basis for interpersonal interaction? Let's talk about the process of interpersonal communication first.

At the beginning of the relationship, what is shown to the other party is beautiful, and I am not willing to show the bad side to the other party, and I also want to see the good side of the other party. As this cautious anticipation of a beautiful relationship begins, the relationship begins to deepen.

In the process, they become attracted to each other because of a good beginning. Looking forward to seeing each other, you can communicate with each other more. If the same frequency, then the relationship will become closer, sweeter; if the frequency is not, then the question arises: start to blame the other party for why they are so cold to themselves? He wasn't like that before. As this feeling begins, the language begins to have some dissatisfaction to a greater or lesser extent. And the other party will also feel, why are you so unreasonable? So, slowly, the cracks began.

As the rift deepened, suspicion began to arise between them. I treat you as a true friend, and you do this to me, which is so disappointing to me. As this voice continued to increase, the communication between the two began to be less close. At this time, people with high emotional intelligence may not put it on their faces, and people with straight characters will immediately appear.

Later, when he heard bad things about the other party from the people around him, he increased his suspicion even more. So I scolded, count me blind!

Such a beautiful friendship stopped, and a dead knot was tied in each other's hearts.

As such things happen more and more often, it will make everyone's heart not dare to believe the thoughts of others. My little mind has been hurt, and I want to wrap it up now and protect myself!

Yes, life will meet a lot of people, and there will be countless interactions like this. So, how do we get along with people and manage friendships?

On Douyin, as well as on the Internet, on the topic of interpersonal communication, the benevolent see the benevolent, and the wise see the wise. There are teaching tolerances, there are teaching prevention, there are teaching skills, all kinds of things, all feel right. Just as some people say that human nature is inherently good, and some people say that human nature is inherently evil. Here are some examples of what I've seen and experienced.

Relationship One: This is how I met a former friend. Before I came into contact with her, I listened to people around me talk about her in many ways that she was not good. Because there is no intersection, there has been no contact. Later, because I had contact with her lover, but I always had a grudge against her. Between repeated contact, I found that the other party was not like the people around me said before. So there was a deeper engagement. Just like the above-mentioned communication process, we became friends who talked about everything, and even the phone number became a family number, and there were endless words all day long. I never thought that later, each other would develop into "enemies". The subsequent development was mainly because of the cooperation, and I understood that I had an interest relationship. Ultimately, my summary of the relationship: don't trust others, go through it yourself, and then know what's going on. There should be no financial interests between friends, and to put it more bluntly, it can be said that there is a stake. As long as these are there, the friendship relationship will bottom out.

Relationship two: Introduced by a friend, I met a friend of the opposite sex. From the beginning he chases after you, so that you slowly feel that he is all good. Later, just like the above process, there were slow expectations for each other, and then there was a rift between them. As the rift deepens, the relationship breaks down. I summarize this relationship as follows: each other only remembers the beauty of each other's meeting, and forgets that people are flawed, or that everyone has his personality. One side feels that the relationship is based on the premise of comfort; the other side thinks that since we are so good, we need to be "hot" all the time. So there was a contradiction, a relationship that was too hot to breathe, and then quickly cooled down. Just experiencing differences in each other's perceptions ends quickly.

Relationship three: friends who are of equal social level to each other, often eating together, playing cards, and playing. Because of the investment relationship, it has become the two subjects of contract transfer. As a result, suspicions arose between the two parties because of the cooperation of the third party. One party thinks that the other party has selfish intentions, I give you face, let you make money, in fact, there are uncomfortable points in your heart. While the other side feels itself lying around and not participating in anything of interest. Your other party is unprofessional, does not understand, and is suspicious. Seeing such a relationship will also be on the verge of rupture. But maybe they are all high emotional intelligence people and will not put on the face, but the interaction will certainly not be as dense as before.

Various cases show that the maintenance of a relationship must avoid many pitfalls. Friends can not have interests, can not listen to others, can not be too hot... Too much blandness is true! Probably the first thing you should learn is to get along with yourself, make friends with yourself, and then teach others. The number of friends is not in the large, do not indiscriminately fill the number, rather than indiscriminate. The maintenance of interpersonal relationships never creates doubts, and dispels doubts.