People in the workplace often say: effort is not important, choice is the most important, in fact, the same is true for marriage.
If a woman marries an unqualified man, she will not be happy no matter how hard she tries, such as Ma Xuewu and Li Baoli in "Ten Thousand Arrows Through the Heart".
Regarding the marriage tragedy of Ma Xuewu and Li Baoli, both the son in the play and the audience outside the game blame the strong Li Baoli.
But in fact, Ma Xuewu, the head of the family, is the main culprit of the tragedy, because his three deadly sins ruined the happy life of a family of four.
One sin: stupidity
Ma Xuewu and Li Baoli did not marry because they fell in love, but two people took what they needed.
Ma Xuewu is a high-achieving student from the countryside, and Li Baoli is the daughter of a market vegetable seller. Li Baoli took a fancy to Ma Xuewu's academic qualifications, because she had no culture, so she especially liked intellectuals.
For him who grew up in the countryside, marrying a city girl is the best shortcut for him to gain a foothold in a big city, and it is also a "reward" for his hard work.
After marrying Li Baoli, Ma Xuewu was not happy, because Li Baoli had been in the market since she was a child, and she had developed a spicy and harsh personality, and for such a wife, Ma Xuewu could not love it at all.
Ma Xuewu, the director of the workshop, was assigned a new house in the factory, and when she moved, Li Baoli scolded the temporarily priced movers. After moving home, Ma Xuewu gave smoke to the workers to buy soda, and Li Baoli sprinkled the anger on Ma Xuewu and scolded him in front of outsiders as "really cheap".
Ma Xuewu, who had already been promoted to a rich man, no longer wanted to endure this humiliation, and on the night of the move, he filed for divorce from Li Baoli.
After being rejected by Li Baoli, Ma Xuewu began to have a cold war with Li Baoli and developed a lover relationship with his gentle and considerate colleague Zhou Fen.
At this point in the plot, Ma Xuewu's weakness has been exposed, and his greatest stupidity is that he never considers the consequences of doing things.
When he married Li Baoli, he only saw Li Baoli's urban hukou, and did not consider whether Li Baoli's personality and experience were in tune with his own.
When he is with his lover Zhou Fen, he only pays attention to the happiness of the moment, and does not consider the consequences of infidelity.
Zhou Fen, an ordinary worker with a wife, gave the workshop director a "little third", and what kind of blow it would cause to Zhou Fen's life was not at all within Ma Xuewu's consideration.
Ma Xuewu is such a man, who only looks at the current interests and emotions, and does not consider the long-term impact of this decision.
Of course, this is not the most terrible, because when people are young, they will inevitably make wrong decisions, and it is his second sin that really destroys everything.
Two Deadly Sins: Cowardice
Ma Xuewu's cowardice is reflected from the beginning of the film, and when he heard Li Baoli arguing with the workers, he only looked at it once and quickly hid back.
A normal man, hearing his wife arguing with others, shouldn't his first reaction be to stand out and protect his wife behind him? If it is the wife's fault, then apologize for the wife, and it is not shameful, right?
But Ma Xuewu is this kind of cowardly man, he grew up without a father, his mother protected him tightly, and when he became an adult, he married a strong wife Li Baoli, no matter when there was someone in front of him, so it became Ma Xuewu's instinct to escape in case of trouble.
In his marriage to Li Baoli, he hated Li Baoli's "small citizen" attitude, but he never wanted to teach and change Li Baoli in the past.
Obviously, there was a crisis in the marriage, and he did not solve the problem between him and Li Baoli, but instead thought of quickly cutting the mess and divorcing it.
After Li Baoli refused to divorce him, he ignored and did not communicate, and chose to use cold violence to passively resist.
As the saying goes, character determines fate, so no matter which woman Ma Xuewu marries, there will be no good end, because any two people getting along will produce contradictions, and Ma Xuewu, a man who will only shelve the problem and not solve the problem, will only make things worse and worse, and finally reach the point of no return.
Three Deadly Sins: Selfishness
After Ma Xuewu and his lover Zhou Fen were together, they were blocked in the hotel by their wife Li Baoli, for the sake of their children and family, Li Baoli did not rush in and make a big fuss, but instead called the police station and reported Ma Xuewu and Zhou Fen.
Because of this stain, Ma Xuewu lost his official position and was sent back to the workshop, becoming the first wave of laid-off workers.
After getting the news of the layoff, Ma Xuewu went to find his lover Zhou Fen, and learned that he was reported by Li Baoli, and in despair, Ma Xuewu chose to jump into the river to commit suicide.
In fact, Ma Xuewu's pain is not difficult to understand, he was smooth in his studies and career, but suddenly lost the "iron rice bowl" and became a laid-off worker, and this result was indirectly caused by his wife, which was indeed a big blow to ma Xuewu, who was proud and arrogant.
But his mistake was to use death to escape this frustration, or in the end he was too selfish, full of his own pain and despair, and did not think about what his elderly mother should do after his death. What about his young son?
From this point of view, Ma Xuewu is not as good as his wife Li Baoli, and even Li Baoli, who is a weak woman, can be a "lifu" to earn money to support his family, but Ma Xuewu is selfish enough to only care about his mood and face.
In our reality, unemployed, laid-off, and indebted people abound, can everyone selfishly die? After all, who is not gritting their teeth for the sake of parents and children, and carrying the weight forward for the sake of the family?
▶ Conclusion
A man like Ma Xuewu, like a dog that can't bark but secretly bites people, hides all cowardice and selfishness under the surface of gentleness and helplessness.
Obviously, it was his cold violence that forced his wife into a shrew, but outsiders only saw the fierceness of the "dog fighter", so they pushed all the mistakes onto Li Baoli, who was also a "victim", and let a weak woman bear the consequences of ten thousand arrows piercing the heart.
If Ma Xuewu can be smarter, tolerate Li Baoli's shortcomings, and solve the problems between him and Li Baoli.
If Ma Xuewu can be braver, firmly end his marriage with Li Baoli.
If Ma Xuewu can mature a little, resist the pressure of layoffs, and start a new career.
Then their family of four will surely have a happy and happy life.