Meet and hate early – excerpt from Duckweed

1. People will meet many people in their lives, and only a very few will stay in your life, growing up with you, aging, crying, and laughing. More people walk and walk and disperse, scatter for a long time, forget, no matter how lively and intense it was at the beginning, it will also be diluted by the years, without a trace. However, there must be one or two people who remain in the deepest recesses of your memory, like your arthritis, which will faintly hurt when the sky changes.

Now, in my heart, there is such a person, her name is Wei'er, although they have been separated for nearly thirty years, her voice and smile are like yesterday, as if she is right in front of her. Three more dreams, Yiren red makeup smile can be, wake up is more than doubly sad. Classmates associations, WeChat groups, inquiring everywhere, but like an antelope hanging horns without a trace, mud cattle into the sea without a message. It's like evaporation in the world. Only a lot of vague information was left, some people said she was on TV, some people said she was in the magazine agency, and she was already a big celebrity. So in Baidu input her name, actually came out a lot of information, a columnist of a famous magazine, followed the message to write a letter, many days later, the mobile phone received a text message, "In the night, you are the only light, stick to yourself, never give up!" "The phone call came, but it stopped. In the QQ space I found a strange visitor, Ta always appears, but never interacts, never likes, does not speak, the style in the space is Wei'er's handwriting, asked if ta is Wei'er, the answer is not. Life is like this, a turn is a lifetime.

Life is like this, a turn is a lifetime. Some things, once gone, never come back, such as youth, dreams, and love. You think you have a lot of time, a lot of opportunities to cherish, to explain, to make up, but in the end, you find that you don't even have the opportunity to say sorry to her.

It has been a few days since the beginning of the school, I have only re-entered the classroom, as usual, my father said good things to the teacher to slow down the payment of tuition, the poverty of the family made me both sensitive and self-respecting, and I became depressed and depressed, and I only found self-confidence in the composition class, and slightly restored the naughty nature in my bones. When I walked into the classroom, there was a cheer from the students, but there was a girl who stood up defiantly, with big and bright eyes, dark hair, and a good face, and she was Wei'er, a new student from shakuhachi.

Later, I asked her why she stood up and looked at me like that. She said that her table mates said that my article was well written, and she was not convinced, she was in shakuhachi and had always been recognized as a talented woman. I asked her if she was convinced now, and she said, "If you don't obey, you can't do it, you are born Yu He Shengliang." I said, Mr. Mingming, am I okay? In fact, you are too precocious, your article is a bit ahead of time, and students are not suitable. Her face was flushed, like a crimson cloud in the sky.

Her face blushed, like a crimson cloud in the sky. It was a good time, enough to dilute the shadow of my family's cold. It's just that a beautiful and arrogant woman like her, who happened to be born in a well-off official's family, inevitably had a lot of suspicion and hatred, and then she even made up many stories out of thin air by gossiping, and the good and boring boys made up many stories out of thin air, and the fatal thing was that I actually believed it. I was angry and asked her to return the manuscript of my novel, saying that she did not remember to return me, and she innocently handed it over, but I took it and fell down. Later, I found out that she had transcribed my tens of thousands of words of novel in small letters, and I realized that I blamed her, but I still did not say sorry. The two most talented people drift apart until they disappear completely in each other's lives.

Today, I am a humble little boss in the hustle and bustle of the city, but I still refuse to give up the beautiful dream of that year in the cold years, but there is no longer a talented woman who is willing to let go of all her pride and copy the long words and trivial jokes for me. Or listen to me tell the characters in the novel, the stories of the earth. I felt utterly lonely in the crowds, I searched for comfort in the noisy WeChat group, only to find myself trying in vain. And that woman at that time, has already turned gorgeously. She entered the ivory tower via a canoe bridge and became a successful woman. And the people she admired are still struggling in the swamp of reality. The crown is covered with Beijing, and the Si people are lonely and haggard. No one knew me that way, and I felt deeply lonely.

I felt deeply lonely, the business in the store to make a living, every day sitting in the store door looking at the tall buildings over there, looking at the passing vehicles and pedestrians. Time has stained its sideburns, and the years have woven into an impermeable net, and I am entangled in this net, trying to kill a way between ideals and reality, but I feel so weak. The person who looks like Wei'er in the space is still there, and it doesn't matter whether Wei'er is or not. She has long since incarnated as the heroine of the story. It's just that some stories have ended before they even start, life is not a novel after all, many times, it has no logic, not written by people.

Many times, life has no logic, no one writes a screenplay, and when you are still stupid, it ends absurdly and abruptly. The person you've been waiting for may never appear again. You only have to give a happy ending in the novel.

Zhang Ailing said, "I met you among tens of millions of people, in the endless wilderness of tens of millions of years, no step earlier, not one step later, just caught up, there is nothing else to say, only to gently ask "Oh, it turns out that you are also here!" "It's just that in the season of not understanding love, we met too early, and when we understood, the Scythians were far away." In the human world, there is a kind of pain, which is called seeing each other and hating early.

2. Opposite the tall building where I live, there is an old bungalow, shouting demolition for many years but has not moved. When I was fine, I took a recliner and sat in front of the deciduous window and listened to the sound of the city opposite. Often, in front of the low brick house, people set up a table full of large bowls of fish and meat, they shouted five or six, and the laughter and song shook the roof tiles, and even I couldn't help but be deeply affected. Our high-rise houses may be what they yearn for all their lives, but their simple happiness is what I once had, but eventually lost.

On the side of the city's high-rise buildings, it is often surrounded by a mess of low brick and tile houses, which is a unique scenery in the city. People who live in bungalows have dreamed of living in upscale neighborhoods all their lives, and so have I, and when I actually came in, I found that I had lost even my simple happiness. The residents on the opposite side, whose surnames and names they are, and what they do, we don't know, and we live separately behind closed doors. We wear professional clothes, with professional smiles, it seems that we are always understanding, energetic, energetic, full of positive energy, but in fact, we are conspiring to fight, deceitful, tired and tired to pretend... I really want to join the party downstairs, unobstructed, free, that true temperament, that simple happiness, is the utopia that we can't reach.

Until one day I received a letter from Jay. My dull life has a bright color. Jay was a classmate of mine after the junior high school transfer, and his pale face was always melancholy, as if he couldn't smile. I told him behind his back to be self-styled. Jie was brilliant, and when I wrote those Qiongyao-style Qingqing I, he began to write novels about the lives of the low-level people. He has a maturity that many of his peers do not have, he does not care about "Huo Yuanjia", does not collect photos of Weng Meiling, he is full of melancholy about the whole country and society, and at the same time, his family is poor, so that he does not smile, I have to say, I was touched by him. I remember the little note he handed me during his study last night. I felt him trembling, and I was shaking. "The greatest happiness in the world is that the people you love also love you!" We were busy studying and became dependent on each other. That was my first love. My girlish heart was overwhelmed by this melancholy teenager. However, later, the school investigated and punished early love, many classmates were disciplined to talk, and he began to alienate me. But I could tell from the look in his eyes that he liked me, "Ahem, coward! ”

When I received his letter, I learned that he was living in a brick house opposite, a street in the village of the city, through which I had to drive almost every day. Seeing his little shop, seeing him chatting with the façade next door, he spoke in a Wuhan dialect, but even though his sideburns were frosted and he spoke with a foreign accent, I still recognized him at a glance. I watched him behind the brown glass, once stuck in traffic and almost stayed in front of his door for five minutes. Ah, no matter how hard and tired, he is still that Jay, without losing his original intention, his simple happiness. He didn't know, I even walked into his shop one day, but he didn't recognize me, I was wearing a hat and mask and speaking Mandarin. I was like a mischievous child, and I didn't recognize him because I wanted to keep being the beautiful girl in his dreams.

I wanted to keep doing the beautiful girl in her dreams, even as the years passed mercilessly. Sometimes I also have the urge to meet him and tell him that I have not been far away in his life. I am his QQ friend, I stand behind him silently pay attention to him, read his log, talk, the picture of his daughter, his joy and sorrow, her loneliness and loneliness, his novel... But I still like to be a silent Veil, in such a way, waiting for the time to come. No one can reach dawn without crossing the night. I believe that in his novels, my laughter is like a crimson cloud in the sky, it has always been, it has always been.

Some people say that looking back five hundred times in a past life is only in exchange for a passing shoulder in this life. The most beautiful encounter in the world is not to look at each other and smile and pass by? After all, the years cannot be recovered, then live in the memory, the beauty in your novel.

Life is destined to be unsatisfactory. There is a kind of regret in the world, called seeing each other and hating early.