Inventory of the "humorous golden sentences" in Lao She's prose

Lao She is a famous modern writer, the great "People's Artist", once lost the Nobel Prize in Literature, his article language is subtle and timeless, light and witty, "Beijing flavor" full, panoramic reproduction of the old ordinary citizens of the sour, sweet, bitter, moody and sad, "good-looking skin bag thousands of thousands, interesting souls to pick one", today we will take stock of the "humorous golden sentences" in Lao She prose.

1. Flying luggage to look at Soma

In order to calm his anger, he quickly asked: "To the university, how much is it?" He said a number. I said calmly, "I'm not buying expensive horses and cars." ”

I was thinking about it, and somehow my luggage seemed to be possessed by the devil, and it all flew out of the car.

At the same time, I feel quite uncomfortable in my heart, complaining that I "take the horse by appearance", who knows that people can actually lift their hooves and run a few steps away! --- "To Jinan (I)"

As soon as I began, I offended a car driver, and I was in a daze with the ghosts of the horse country and the skeleton of the pile of cars when my luggage was suddenly snatched away by a royal. I was not angry, but thanked him for his enthusiasm. When he put his luggage in the car, it was not wrong at all, and I did hear a clattering sound, and indeed I saw the people with the horses swinging to the left and right three times, and the people who moved forward and backward three times. "Okay?" I whispered to the Emperor. "Okay?" He gave me a full look. "Okay? Go from Jinan to Germany! I was embarrassed to doubt him any longer, so I took his words as my faith, thinking to myself, "If you have faith, you will not be afraid of anything!" In order to calm his anger, he quickly asked: "To the university, how much is it?" He said a number. I said calmly, "I'm not buying expensive horses and cars." I thought in my heart: "If you get such a property and unfortunately die in the future, who will bear it in the will?" "I was thinking about it, and somehow my luggage seemed to be possessed by the devil, and it all flew out of the car." Looking at it again, the angry emperor raised his whip, and the skinny horse lifted its hoof and ran over with my suitcase. The suitcase was not broken at all, but a small piece of rubber from the wheel fell on it; to avoid trouble, I did not dare to call the emperor back to tell him, in case he called "I" compensation! At the same time, I feel quite uncomfortable in my heart, complaining that I "take the horse by appearance", who knows that people can actually lift their hooves and run a few steps away!

2. Generous and uneven stones

The literati of the Romantics must have loved these stone roads, because the stones smelled of generosity and humor. --- "To Jinan (II)"

The literati of the Romantics must have loved these stone roads, because the stones smelled of generosity and humor. If the first piece bends your toes, ahem, just take a step, the second piece will bite your heel. The left foot is unfortunately imprisoned by the stone depression, pay attention, the right foot will follow the slide out of how far, there is already a middle bulge, angular and slippery waiting for you. In this way, left and right, there are ambushes everywhere, there are changes; if any romantic writer has traveled a journey, if he is lucky not to faint, he will definitely get a lot of inspiration for writing legends.

3. Weili's Jinan old onion

Don't flower, don't look at the leaves, just look at the white onions, you will feel the beauty of the onions. --- "To Jinan (III)"

In the small song, when the tip of the green onion is often compared to the fingers of the beautiful woman, this is naturally a spring onion, it will never be the old onion of Shandong, if the ten fingers of the beautiful woman are as thick as the old onion (you know how many inches the diameter of the old onion in Shandong is), once the women's revolution, knock down the man, a mouth does not beat half of the man's face away! This is by no means that Jinan's old onions are not beautiful, no. Green onions are naturally not as beautiful, and the green onions are not as beautiful as the pu leaves, and the bamboo leaves are so clear, even the garlic leaves are not as good, because the garlic leaves can at least pretend to be daffodils. Don't flower, don't look at the leaves, just look at the white onions, you will feel the beauty of the onions. Look at the athlete, don't look at his or her face, look at those two perfect legs first, and look at the onion as well. (Athletes note that there is no insult here; my own legs are thinner than garlic seedlings, and I dare to climb higher than the onions!) Jinan's onion white is at least three feet long; thick, always thicker than my wrist a circle or two - those who are willing to see my wrist, please visit the second corner of the Fei Dayang. That's not all, the most beautiful thing is the shiny, watery, fine, pure white color. This pure white seems to be understood only by those who have seen the breasts of the ancient Greek goddesses, fresh, white, with a life-nourishing milk! This white makes you reluctant to eat it, but holds it in your hand and admires it, as if you have some understanding of the greatness of the universe. It is forbidden to peel it layer by layer, and each layer falls down like the folding of a shortbread...

4. Posture of sitting in the car

Please also pay attention to the posture of the car. If you are a righteous gentleman, holding your neck straight, well: in order to maintain the erection of your neck, after getting off the car, you will not become a crooked neck willow, even if you are lucky.

Jinan's stone road loves to knock down people with upright necks and showing righteousness!

--- "To Jinan (II)"

Please also pay attention to the posture of the car. If you are a righteous gentleman, holding your neck straight, well: in order to maintain the erection of your neck, after getting off the car, you will not become a crooked neck willow, even if you are lucky. The straighter you go, the more they sieve left and right; the stone roads in Jinan love to knock down people with stiff necks and show righteousness!

On the contrary, if you are shrinking your neck and slackening your strength, please pay attention, when the car is suddenly high and low, you may have a ghost god secretly blessed still in the car, or you may completely shake out of the car, and your face will kiss the black soil next to the road. From experience, the best thing to do is not to be quite tight, with elasticity. Like the 100-yard final, the attitude when waiting for the gunshots is the most appropriate. One point does not slacken, one point does not ignore, with the high is high, with the low is low, the car is left and left, the car is right and right, the car must stand like a saddle, and the car should fall like a carp into the water. In this way, although it is more troublesome, it is really safe, and I am used to practicing, so I can not get seasick in the future.

The time to take the car is also necessary to study, and the most suitable time to take the car is when you have gastrointestinal occlusion.

No need to take drainage medicine, just drink some boiling water before eating, and go to sit in a foreign car for half an hour, the effect is like God. After sitting for three consecutive days, if you don't have stomach disease, you will also have cecalitis.