Wen | snow fell without dust
In life, you can't avoid troubles. In the face of troubles, some people are paranoid and suspicious, some people lack self-confidence, and some people are entangled and depressed.
Most people will be surrounded by negative emotions and can't go out. In fact, what really shackles you is not necessarily the problem itself, but your mentality and emotions.
The British writer Thackeray wrote in his famous book Vanity Fair: "Life is like a mirror, you laugh at it, it laughs at you; you cry to him, it also cries at you." ”
As long as you keep smiling, the world will smile with you. Don't live with yourself and live your life too hard. The hard work of the body can be relieved by a little rest, but the mental fatigue is difficult to eliminate.
In order to live a better life, we not only strive to learn a variety of skills, but also constantly set strict demands on ourselves and exercise various abilities to adapt to society. I hope that I can control my life and be free.
In fact, a person's highest ability is to reconcile with himself and not to live with himself.
Many times, you live unsatisfactorily, in fact, you "ask for yourself".
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To live with oneself is to torture oneself
A young man who went to college at Harvard, he felt as if he were sick.
But instead of going straight to the hospital, he went to the library and borrowed medical books. This look did not matter, he was surprised to find that hun hun was normal except for his knees, and there was almost all wrong with it.
His whole being collapsed, he did not think about tea, and even began to write a suicide note. Under everyone's persuasion, he reluctantly went to the hospital. When the results of the examination came out, the doctor did not say anything, but only prescribed him a prescription.
As soon as he thought he was finished, the doctor stopped talking, and he wasn't in the mood to read what was written, so he hurried to the pharmacy.
Unexpectedly, the pharmacy said that there was no such medicine. He was about to cry, feeling that he was not saved. But he was not willing, opened the prescription and looked at it, which read: "Eat less and more meals every day, a bottle of beer, and walk ten miles in the morning."
Although he was confused, he did as the doctor said.
This young man is still alive and healthy, in fact, he is not sick at all, the so-called disease is all imagined by him. Because he put all his energy into wild thinking, he had gone crazy.
A little Zen monk said, "In this world, the best way to release life is to let yourself go." ”
Instead of going around in circles in the entanglement, it is better to firmly cross the obstacles in the heart.
Someone on the Internet once asked: "What is the root cause of life's pain?" ”
One Gaozan replied, "Most of the pain in life is not caused by others, but you can't live with yourself." ”
Everyone will be attacked by two arrows, the first arrow is shot at you from the outside, and the second arrow is shot at themselves.
Trapped in their own world, they can only harvest anxiety for a long time; the burden is too heavy, the more they complain about themselves, the more they feel that they are not satisfied everywhere, and they are unconsciously dizzy and cannot see the road ahead.
Not being able to live with yourself is like chronic poisoning, and before you can fight this complicated world, your low mood exhausts all your strength.
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I can't live with myself because I think too much
Many people are depressed all day and can't lift their spirits because they "think too much" all day long.
The brain is filled with anxiety, the mood is entangled with sadness, and over time it begins to hate itself, lining up all kinds of unsatisfactory, and can't live with itself one by one.
A girl in tears came to a counseling center and told her about her reluctance to break up with her ex-boyfriend. After the breakup, she said, she fell into boundless trouble.
She is always afraid that she is so old, it is not easy to find an object in the future, and she is afraid of finding an object, the other party is not good enough, or regret that when she was in love, she was not hard enough, and felt that she blamed herself when she broke up.
In this way, she did not have the heart to work, and the serious burden of thought even affected eating and sleeping. The whole person was emaciated and gaunt, listless every day.
Thinking too much is a serious internal friction, and it is a kidnapping of one's soul with troubles. Having reached a dead end, still wandering and not wanting to turn around, it will be trapped there over time.
In the end, all that remains is all kinds of complaints about oneself, and endless "regrets and inadequacies".
Long-term incessant denial of yourself, in the end can only produce serious anxiety and inferiority, firmly staring at themselves, can no longer see other beautiful things.
Tanjin wrote in the book "You Just Think Too Much": "All the unbearable and troublesome is just the narcissism and masochism of his own cup of bow and snake shadow." All the worries and doubts are all their own reasons. ”
If you want to win the respect and approval of others, you can't be honored and degraded, and you can't be too harsh on yourself, but you need a kind of self-confidence, a kind of plainness that doesn't want to relax.
A person who can't live with himself and always lives in a tangle cannot gain respect and happiness.
Life is like a mess, the more desperately you tear, but self-defeating, more and more chaotic. Thinking too much is like being stuck in a mess, and whichever strand you pull will pull tighter and tighter.
Thinking too much is to set up a roadblock for your own life. Obviously, you can move forward smoothly, but you have to brake hard again and again. It both delays the trip and destroys the mood.
Only by unloading the burden in your heart and going into battle lightly can you get closer to the goal you want.
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Only by reconciling with yourself can you have a better life
There is a girl who aspires to enter Tsinghua University. Her grades have always been among the best in the school, and parents and teachers are convinced that she will be able to achieve her goal of entering Tsinghua University.
However, during the exam, due to her physical reasons, she played abnormally, and the result was not able to reach the ideal score line. If you apply for Tsinghua, you can only choose a major that is not very good. Therefore, the matter of applying for the examination made her very entangled and depressed for a long time.
Everyone advised her: "The good villain is also Tsinghua University, and it is better to be able to enter than not to go in." Hearing these words, her heart was even more troubled.
However, after careful consideration, the girl put aside her vanity, obeyed her heart, applied for the University of Science and Technology of China, and chose a major that she particularly liked.
She did not fall into the persuasion of others, nor was she frustrated and lost because of exam mistakes, she did not tangle, did not be more truthful, and shook hands with herself. Firmly believe in your own choices, and believe that it will be more exciting here.
There is a saying in "Farewell to the Overlord": "Man, he must complete himself." ”
Life is the process of slow acceptance. Accept the ordinary, accept the separation, accept the loss, accept the imperfection, accept the opposite, tear down the shackles of the soul, and slowly reconcile with yourself.
If you don't fulfill yourself, do you expect others to treat you well?
It is a useless toughness to live with oneself; to reconcile with oneself is a kind of soft wisdom.
When people get old, their teeth will fall out, but their tongues will be safe.
Why? Because the tongue is always avoided at the right time, not more true, not strong; the teeth are dogmatically stiff, and once you are sharp to the end, you can't avoid all kinds of grinding, and you often hurt yourself.
Reconciliation with oneself is also a struggle with one's own obsessions and inability to open one's own thoughts. You can't even overcome yourself, you can't even control your emotions, how can you face a multi-faceted life?
To reconcile with yourself is to crush your entanglements, to clear your uneasiness, to eliminate your anxiety, not to care about the discussion of others, and to perfect yourself well.
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In the second half of life, learn to "reconcile" with yourself in order to go smoothly
Sometimes, people themselves "kidnap" themselves, and it is not known.
At the "Spit Conference", Yu Haoming said: "We have been kidnapped by various things all our lives, before I was kidnapped by Yan Yan, and then I was bravely kidnapped. After so many years I finally figured out that what I needed was not sympathy, but acceptance of myself. ”
The more suspicious the more nervous, the more anxious the more painful. Learn to accept the unsatisfactory past and embrace your present self, and you will find that everything will get better and better.
Teacher Zhang Defen said: "Life is not perfect, but that is myself, such as fake replacement, no compromise, unique treasure, even if you take the world's rare treasures do not change." ”
We may not be the brightest star in the sky, nor do we have to envy the light of others, we have our own light, and it is just right to be able to illuminate ourselves.
Don't live with yourself, what you have to do is: first illuminate yourself, and then illuminate the future.
Author: Snowfall Dustless, Writer, Emotional Counselor. If you encounter any emotional distress, you can point my avatar in the upper left corner to send me a private message, and I will help you analyze and help you solve it.