College entrance examination three times, the lesson is bloody,
"Don't forget to fight, don't forget to argue."
The words stayed on the white wall next to my bed...
01 All the past is the prologue
"Where did you go to urn the water?" It was the most beautiful thing I've heard in my college year.
I spent almost every day in the library for a year, and I don't know when I finally fell in love with learning. If you had asked me three years ago what I was doing best, I think I would have answered without hesitation that you were skipping class.
Because of physical disabilities, I have been experiencing mild or severe school violence since I can remember.
All these years of school was the only place I felt afraid and afraid of, I don't know when I started skipping class became a remedy for me, even though I knew that it would sacrifice a lot, but in the oppressive situation at that time, I had no choice but to use such a stupid way to protect myself.
In fact, at first I would attribute all my school-weary behavior to the shadow of school violence, but later I figured out that the main reason was my weak and incompetent personality and not strong enough heart.
Now I think that if I hadn't chosen to be patient, if my efforts and hard work had come earlier, and I had woken up earlier, maybe my life would not have been as few as it is now.
02 Efforts don't work because you owe too much
I re-read this truth twice to understand it profoundly. The first time I took the college entrance examination, I was seventeen years old, when my art test results were very good, to this day I still have not forgotten that I stood outside the classroom in the cold winter, with a pair of frostbitten hands without others, and my mouth was passionately carrying Wen Chang. Nor did he forget that he was relieved to cry that night.
If you ask me how I got this achievement, I will probably say lightly now that I was hungry and drank tap water in exchange, that I was bought for a meal that I ate for a day, that I had been bought for an illness that had been left behind for half a year, and that I had spent many days and nights in exchange for so many days and nights.
It turned out that at that age when I should have worked hard, I really tried hard, but it was a pity that I didn't last to the end. Back at school, I was still the weak and incompetent self, and the helplessness was ridiculous. In the end, I blamed the school violence and lost to my own weakness.
Because of the excellent art test results, the teacher has always attached great importance to me, but my addiction to skipping class has discouraged his heart. The results of the college entrance examination are naturally not satisfactory, but on the contrary, I do not feel regret, but feel relieved. I don't know why three years of high school life taught me why I was running away.
You must not have experienced the days of being framed, haven't you experienced the days when your friends were beaten up because they came home with you, haven't you experienced the days when you were used as a laughing stock by human flesh?
Not long after I went to the university, I resolutely chose to repeat the study. Frankly speaking, at that time, I was really a Buddhist department, and the reason why the Buddhist department went back to re-study was only to overcome the terrible campus violence.
That's the bravest thing I've ever done. But I thought too naively. The same environment, the same people, the same encounters will trigger the same resistance to me. The new class teacher is a very warm person, she often asks me the reason for my boredom, I can't tell my past often pretend to be a hanging child Lang Dang, in fact, I don't want her to worry.
At the end of the re-reading, I began to work hard, but I only regarded it as a kind of wordless reward to her because of my grades.
She is really very different from other teachers, she is simple and gentle and delicate, she will try to pull me when I fall, and hug me in a different way when I need warmth the most. She is really magical, willing to silently learn about my past, to let the mother who has never seen only work to attend the parent-teacher conference, to accompany me when I am drunk, and now I really regret that I did not repay her well at that time.
03 Sometimes working hard for yourself is the real sense of effort
Taking the college entrance examination for the second time was like a joke from God to me, but it was undeniable that it was a watershed moment in my life.
The results came out, and it was only a few minutes away from going online. For many years I still feel that that simple little bit is the best retribution for my weakness and incompetence.
I reread it again, and I chose it willingly.
But in the eyes of my classmates, I was the kind of weird person who obviously had worked very hard and couldn't get up. I'm not going to say they blamed me, I just hate the cowardly self of the past who owes too much. And my grades, but the progress came a little late, just as my efforts and awakening came so late.
I quietly watched my grades climb up step by step from the penultimate step by step, and compete with those students who had better college entrance examination results than me, but later I was really a little overwhelmed.
I began to recall my friend's remark that you used to be very good at not listening to the class grades.
I did that then, but then it was too much wasted. This is probably the punishment.
No matter what the outcome is, only those who have really worked hard will not regret it. Perhaps, as Zhihu Hot commented, there is no futile effort in this world, and all your accumulation will leave a mark on your future life path. Figuring this out has been more than a year apart from her...
04 Effort really takes courage
Finally, at the age of twenty, I walked into the university campus.
There are all kinds of people here, and people come and go. There are those who work hard, and there are those who are safe with the encounter. I've been through both states and know the pain of the final outcome. Even if I am out of place in the big environment, I am still grateful that I am no longer timid and no longer follow the tide.
And if you want to say what it brought me before the effort, I can only say that it brought me too much and too much.
It made me change from boredom to studious, made my once thirty-point English an advantage for me, gave me a rational mind and an independent personality, but what I should be most grateful for is that it makes me understand why people should work hard, and also makes me learn to be brave and responsible.
With the encouragement of my family, I abandoned literature to practice medicine, and I was very uncomfortable at first as a liberal arts student, and I thought about giving up countless times.
But this time I bravely chose to persevere, although I did not like it so much, but I was still willing to give everything I had to learn it well, not because of anything else, just because I felt that the country needed it, I had to do my best.
So you ask me why I worked so hard, and I'll only tell you, because I'm grateful to my parents and to everyone I met in my hardest times. And I clearly understand that it is not only these things that drive me to keep moving forward, but also my future lovers, but also because of my beloved motherland, which always reminds me that it needs me and needs each of us.
Why would i have such thoughts about a once-indulgent and depraved addiction?
That night I hid in the quilt and cried to call my friends, my words were full of hatred for myself, I hated myself for not being self-disciplined enough, I was afraid that if I didn't learn medicine well, I would bury countless living lives in my hands.
Unconsciously in my heart, the efforts in my heart are now completely gone for myself, and I also want to be one of them when I look at the appearance of college student recruits in the ideological and political class, thinking about how proud it is to sacrifice my life for the country, how proud it is to study medicine and save people, even if I am worried about not being able to learn medicine now, this worried mustard is also worthy of my pride, and all these changes in heart and deeds are deeply stung by that sentence.
I originally thought that I did not forget to struggle, not to forget the truth of contention, which was made clear to me by the sister who wrote this sentence, and then I realized that what really made me understand this truth was myself who was lost and woke up, and now it seems that all this is not too late, and this experience is the best opportunity in my life.
Sometimes life is like a runway, there are many curves, but every step you take well is the only way to the finish line.
Effort is always a positive word. It is not in line with it, the result is unknown, and many things will be understood after experiencing it.
I hope that every time you may be confused about whether to work hard or not, or worry that your efforts will be futile in the end, or you may uphold the so-called Buddhist psychology, you can understand not to forget to struggle, not to forget to argue.
Effort is really not funny, not trying is really sad.
This is the 31st manuscript that has been reliably drafted, like this article, remember to light up "watching", good night.
- END -
Text arrangement | Reliable
The source of the figure (invasion and deletion) | Pile sugar, network
Author:
If