I put my mother in the car, and I didn't even get my head back. That is the eternal recipe of our mother and son

It was spring again, and on this last working day in 2008, I sat alone in my office, combing through the thoughts of the year, lamenting the laughter and tears of the year, and I didn't feel a sad feeling in my heart, which was difficult to explain.

At this time, my thoughts seem to be montage-like continuous transformation, friends, family, colleagues, etc., a moment of mother's voice and smile appeared in front of me, I couldn't help but be sad from it, as if I saw my mother you were in front of me, looking at me with kind eyes, watching her beloved son at work, working hard, fighting, not saying a word, just silently watching, caring, I couldn't help but tears slip down my cheeks: I love you, Mom! I miss you, Mom!!

Think of your family every festive season! In the more than a year since your mother's death, I have missed you all the time, your voice and smile seem to be just yesterday, vividly remembered, the picture of you lying down forever continues to haunt my mind, still remember the scene I saw when you died: you lay there quietly, your kind face was peaceful, let your son call for thousands of times, never look at my son again, I knelt beside you and kept crying: "Mom, you wake up, you wake up!" "I was in tears, and I put my hand in front of your nostrils, trying to feel your slight sniffle, but no! I took your hand and tried to touch your powerful pulse, but no!! I caress your forehead, knowing that your forehead is warm, but why don't you answer your son's call?!! Why not open your slightly closed eyes?!! I kept crying, crying with all my might, and finally, I knew, Mom, that you would never wake up again! I have lost you, my dear dear mother!! I was like a child who suddenly couldn't find a home, looking around in a vast sea of people, crying and crying for his mother! I was like a child who suddenly couldn't find his mother, crying and crying that I wanted to go home in the dark of night!!

I still remember the scene of the last sending you, when my son pushed you into the cold cremation furnace, my heart was like a knife, my heart was exhausted, and with the "clanging" sound of the furnace door closing, from then on you and your son were separated by yin and yang, and you turned into a wisp of light smoke and flew to heaven.

I still remember that a few days before you left, you insisted on sewing a mattress despite the advice of your family, and when it was done, you didn't use it yourself, you wanted to leave it to your father, maybe you had a premonition, maybe you knew that you didn't have much to come, and you wanted to leave more warmth for your father, but do you know? When you left, Dad held the brand new mattress you made several times, and the old tears flowed and cried uncontrollably!!

I still remember the scene when you finally arrived at your son's house, you were on crutches, dragging a sick body, walking in a staggering step, teasing your grandson who was less than three years old at his son's house, smiling, kind and warm. I still remember the scene when my son accompanied you to the hospital to see a doctor, my son pushed you in a wheelchair, and did examinations in various departments of the hospital, but you were afraid of your son's fatigue, and constantly asked to go in the wheelchair by yourself, but your condition and your body have been unable to let you do so.

I still remember your complaints about your son because of the cost of examining your body, you are not willing to let your son spend too much money to check your body for you, I said to you that you did not spend a few dollars, you do not believe it, insist on going home. I still remember when I was sending you back to my hometown at the bus station, I was asked to stay in my house for more time, you refused, I was angry, after sending you to the car, I didn't even look back to see you and Dad's car driving away and went back! Afterwards, you also asked dad, am I angry? I didn't even look back, I didn't even look at you. I didn't know that was the eternal recipe for our mother and son, I shouldn't be so childish, I shouldn't be so careless, I regretted it!!。

I still remember every time I came home with your daughter-in-law and grandson to see you, you sat on the bed in the middle of the room, you could not get down to move, but you still warmly greeted your grandson who was under three years old to give him candy.

I still remember the reluctance to return after each visit to you, your son, daughter-in-law, and grandson knelt down in front of your bed with a reluctant mood to say goodbye to you, and promised to come back to see you soon.

I still remember the scene when I received the call from you leaving us, it was early in the morning, when my brother and sister cried that you were gone, my brain was blank, when you left us, none of your two sons and three daughters were by your side, it was our filial piety as children, when we came to you from all directions, you have closed your eyes, let us call for thousands of calls, and never open again.

I still remember when you were gone, your son, daughter-in-law and grandson were in the car home, and your grandson, who was under three years old, said: "Grandma fell asleep and never woke up again!" A sentence that brought your son to tears.

I still remember that every time you look forward to seeing your children's eyes, every time your son comes home, you can always see your happy eyes, and every time when your son wants to return, you can always see full of reluctance in your eyes.

I still remember that every time my son comes home, he can always eat your son's favorite dish that you made for his son, and his son feels infinite happiness and warmth in his heart.

I still remember when my son left home to join the army, you were sent off at the train station, you kept telling your son to work hard and obey in the hustle and bustle of gongs and drums and boiling voices, and when the train started, your unwilling eyes were clearly full of tears.

I still remember when I was young, when you went to the market, a few of our brothers and sisters were waiting for you at the head of the village, we sat hungry on the stones at the head of the village and braved the fiery sun waiting for you, when your figure appeared far in my field of vision, we ran like a group of happy deer, you always like magic, took out the purchased fruit and snacks from the bag and stuffed them into the hands of our brothers and sisters.

I still remember that during those years of material scarcity and difficult life, in order to make the whole family full, you were hungry, just drinking cold water to fill your hunger, but saying to us: "I am full, not hungry!" Whenever we think of this scene, we can't help but burst into tears————

Mom, today is January 24, 2009 in the Gregorian calendar, December 29, 2008 in the lunar calendar, you have been away from us for more than a year, do you miss us? Do you want your son? Tomorrow is the New Year, the day after tomorrow is the Spring Festival of 2009, in this moment of resignation and new, my son misses you very much!!

Your son is now quietly typing on the keyboard in the office alone, telling his thoughts about you, tears have slipped down his cheeks countless times, blurred his eyes, choked up several times, and cried silently, can you feel my thoughts about you under the Nine Springs? Do you also have the noise of gongs and drums and the sound of people on your side? Do you also have the chiming of firecrackers and the festive Chinese red on your side? Do you still have the entanglement of diseases and the pain that cannot be shaken off? ————, Miss you so much, my dear mother!!

Mom, I haven't done enough to be your son, and I will be your son in the next life! I will honor you well, never wander away again, and accompany you by your side!!

Mother, your departure has deprived your son of his spiritual home, added a pain to his son's heart forever, and made his son no longer able to find the complete love of the world!

A thousand kinds of care drive hunger and warmth by the mother, and all kinds of thoughts and love are never returned!

Miss you, dear Mom!!!

Is to remember!

24 January 2009 (Saturday)

Lunar calendar December 29, 2008 at 13:25