Attaching importance to filial piety is the basic connotation of Confucianism and the virtue of the Chinese nation. There is a son who says, "Filial piety is also the basis of benevolence!" The Book of Filial Piety says, "Filial piety, the scripture of heaven, the righteousness of the earth, and the deeds of the people." "Future generations also have the saying that filial piety comes first.
Filial piety should include the connotation of "nurturing, respecting, and obeying". Raising, the easiest to do, the standard is also more obvious. But Confucius said, "The filial piety of the present is said to be able to be nurtured." As for dogs and horses, they can be raised; if they are disrespectful, why should they be different? Therefore, it is more difficult to respect than to raise, and it is not easy to do it in behavior, Zixia asked filial piety, And Zi said: "It is difficult to be sexy." "Inner respect is more difficult, and inner respect is the true love for parents."
Therefore, Xunzi said that in the case of very hard work and exhaustion, you can still maintain respect for your parents; in the face of disasters and dangers, you will not lose morality to your parents; even if you are unfortunate to be disgusted by your parents, you can still not lose your love for your parents. Only a benevolent person can do that. The Book of Verses says, "Filial piety is not a coward." ”
The more controversial is "shun", because from the meaning of shun, "filial piety to relatives" can easily be derived into "loyalty to the king", and it is foolish filial piety and foolish loyalty. Equating loyalty and filial piety, disloyalty to the monarch is equivalent to filial piety to parents, which is against human morality and human nature. Cao Wei usurped Han, Sima Shi seized Wei, did not dare to speak loyally, and both advocated "ruling the country with filial piety", which is this routine.
However, true Confucianism does not advocate blind obedience to parental orders. Xun Zi proposed that there could be three situations in which filial piety disobeyed his parents' orders:
Obey the orders of the parents, the parents will be in danger, and if they do not obey the orders of the parents, the parents will be safe, then the filial piety will not obey the orders of the parents is filial piety from the heart;
Obey the orders of the parents, the parents will suffer shame, and if they do not obey the orders of the parents, the parents can enjoy glory, then the filial piety does not obey the orders of the parents is in line with morality;
Obey the orders of parents, their own behavior will be as barbaric as beasts, and if they do not obey the orders of their parents, their behavior will be civilized and beautiful, so filial piety will not obey the orders of their parents, that is the serious and cautious attitude that people should have.
Xun Zi concluded that in dealing with parents, if you can obey and disobey, it is certainly unfilial; you should not obey and obey, this is not filial piety from the heart. Understanding the principle of whether to obey or disobey, and being able to be respectful and serious, loyal and trustworthy, upright and honest, and acting cautiously, this is the great filial piety. Meng Yizi asked filial piety, and Zi Yue said, "No violation." Confucius deliberately explained to Fan Chi that he meant not to violate the etiquette, not not to violate the will of his parents. The ancient book says, "From the Word to the King, from righteousness to the Father." ”
Confucius served as the Grand Sikou during the reign of Duke Ding of Lu, and later went into exile in the states of Wei, Chen, and Cai, and was invited back to the state of Lu in his later years, when the monarch was duke of Lu, the son of Duke Ding. Lu Aigong asked Confucius, "Is it filial piety for a son to obey his father's orders?" Is it true that a courtier obeys the king's orders and follows the right path? Lu Aigong asked three times, but Confucius did not answer.
Confucius walked out of the court in small steps and respectfully, told Zigong what had just happened, and then asked him, "What do you think?" ”
Zigong said, "When a son obeys his father's command, he is filial piety; when a courtier obeys a king's order, he follows the right path." How else can the teacher answer? ”
Confucius said, "It's really the view of a villain, Duanmuci, you really don't see it!" In ancient times, as long as a country with a thousand multipliers had four slanderous courtiers, the territory of the state would not be invaded by other countries; as long as a country with a thousand multipliers had three slanderers, there would be no danger to the state power; as long as a country with a hundred multipliers had two slanderous courtiers, the throne would not fall by the side and the temple would not be destroyed; if the father had a son who dared to advise, he would not do anything unciful; and if a scholar had a slanderous friend, he would not do anything immoral. Therefore, if a son blindly obeys his father, how can he be said to be filial piety? How can a courtier who blindly obeys the monarch say that he is following the right path? It is necessary to find out what is being obeyed, that is filial piety, that is, following the right path. ”
Zilu asked Confucius, "There is such a person, in order to better support his parents, get up early and go to bed late, cultivate and sow seeds, and grind out calluses on his hands and feet, but he does not have the reputation of filial piety. ”
Confucius said, "I suppose, he behaved disrespectfully!" Or speak with an unequivocal attitude! Or maybe he didn't give his parents a good look! The ancients had a saying: 'Clothes and clothes!' Tune in! No women to talk about. I will depend on you for food and clothing, but if I violate the law of etiquette, I will not approve of you. ”
Confucius believed that if the son did not have these three situations, but still did not have filial piety, it should be that there was a problem with the friends he had made. Confucius said, "Zhongyu, you have listened well, I will tell you." Even the famous Hercules in the country cannot lift themselves up, which is not because of lack of strength, but because the reality does not allow it. Therefore, it is his own sin that a gentleman does not behave well at home; it is his own fault not to be famous outside, and it is the fault of his friends. If a gentleman is loyal at home and his friends outside are all virtuous, how can he not have a reputation for filial piety? ”
Xun Zi believed that filial piety to one's parents at home and love one's brothers in foreign countries were the minimum qualities that a person should possess; if one could obey his superiors and elders and treat his subordinates and juniors favorably, his moral character was of the medium; in order to obey the right path, he could not obey the monarch, and in order to obey morality, he could not obey his father, and this was the best virtue. What a person thinks and thinks can stop at etiquette, and what he says can make people good, then his Confucian way can be called complete, and Yao Shun is like this, there is no better.
In short, Confucianism's practice of filial piety is premised on benevolence and righteousness, and opposes blind obedience to parents. But the things that need to be worried about now may be the opposite, and how many people can really do filial piety to their parents? What's more, at a time when material wealth is becoming more and more abundant, some people can't even fulfill the obligation of supporting their parents, and once filial piety evolves into a legal obligation, then is it not so disgraceful to be filial piety?! This is the sadness of "progress"!