Hatred can't solve the problem, but calm is OK, thinking is OK, try it.
- "Three Billboards"
On January 5, a 9-year-old boy in Taixing, Jiangsu Province, Mingming, went out to play alone, and after losing his mother's mobile phone, Heming sat in the snow and cried.
When his mother learned of the situation when she returned home, she was very angry, and when she lost her mind, she tied Mingming's hands, feet, and body with tape to prevent him from resisting.
Then he began to vent his emotions, and began to beat Mingming with a wooden stick, from 6 p.m. to 11 o'clock in the evening, during which he only fed Ming Ming a few mouthfuls of water.
Ming Ming was wearing autumn clothes and autumn pants lying on the cold floor of his room, and closed his eyes forever.
Pythagoras once said that anger begins with stupidity and ends with regret.
There is a question on Zhihu: how to weigh sensibility and rationality?
Here's a high-profile reply:
For desire, sensibility is used to propose desires, and reason is used to negate some desires
Second, for difficulties, sensibility is used to feel suffering, and reason is used to overcome some suffering
We need a clear rationality that is a force that saves lives in this noisy world. At the same time, we need a sense of joy. This kind of emotional heart can make us see the spring and fill everywhere we go with joy. Yu Dan
The Oscar-nominated, Golden Globe-winning film Three Billboards tells the story of a mother who struggles with rage and reason.
The heroine in the movie is called Mi Ma.
Mi Ma's daughter died tragically, and the murderer raped the girl with extreme cruelty, buried her in a dirt pit, and burned her body with fire.
It is said that the daughter is the mother's heart and liver baby, which mother can withstand such a brutal despair.
When her daughter died long ago and the murderer's whereabouts were still unknown, she no longer collapsed and collapsed, but decided: even if she was against the whole world, she would find the murderer.
She knows that the greater the exposure of an event, the higher the likelihood of it being resolved.
So she took all her savings and went to the town advertising agency to rent three billboards on the side of the road, which wrote three sentences to urge the police station to solve the case:
"Rape to Death"
"Still haven't caught the killer"
"What's going on, Sheriff Willoughby?"
Mi Ma is bent on solving the case, she completely abandons her own womanlike appearance, like a beast, indifferent to everything, cold, violent.
Anger will only invite more anger
Honestly, I don't even know what the police are doing. But I knew my daughter's charred body was lying 6 feet below while police were still eating their donuts and hunting down 8-year-olds skateboarding in the parking lot. "Three Billboards"
Mi Mama, deeply involved in the murder of her daughter, could not find an outlet for grief.
Desperate and angry, violent and tough.
Director Willoughby, who was suffering from cancer, tried to persuade her to remove the billboard, telling her: I am going to die. She just said "I know" lightly, but she still had to continue to solve the case.
The priest persuaded her, she shook her back to the priest, and did not allow the priest to come back to her house;
The son said that she was talked about at school and couldn't stand such psychological pressure, so she kicked the prejudiced children.
Indeed, her husband cheated, her daughter was tortured and killed, and all the despair made her lose herself, venting her violence and anger on those who opposed her.
There is no longer a smile in life, and there is no tenderness to people in the heart, and to face the world in an extreme way.
Sometimes, when intense emotions and thoughts are concentrated at one point, it is easy for people to go to extremes and force themselves into a dead end.
Some people were not accustomed to the pressure she exerted on Director Willoughby, who was suffering from cancer, and burned down three billboards in one fire.
The fire also burned away Mima's last hope, and she climbed onto the billboard with a fire extinguisher.
Ignoring her own life and death, the flames scorched her tears, and when the third billboard was completely charred, she fell to her knees paralyzed.
At that moment, the emotions of anger suppressed her like an iceberg, and the anger was not for people to think about, and she believed that the police had destroyed these signs.
She decided to take revenge with her actions, so a fire burned the entire police station and almost killed innocent people.
Anger is just the catharsis of negative emotions, and if you can't improve your emotions, it will only trigger more anger and bring more serious consequences.
The contradiction caused by the emotional anger between people is the impulsive nature of human beings to encounter problems and explode.
If you can't control your emotions, you can only be swallowed up by anger.
Hatred does not solve the problem
But calm is OK, thinking is OK
Hatred is a more pessimistic emotion, making yourself miserable and hostile, which is actually punishing yourself with the mistakes of others.
The case has not been solved, the people around her are slightly mocking of Mi Ma and do not understand her actions, and police officer Dixon also looks for trouble from time to time and is full of hatred for Mi Ma.
He beat up the owner of the billboard, and as soon as he saw Mima, he viciously opposed her, and even wanted to shoot her.
Dixon, like Mommy, is always wrapped in emotions and acts in anger.
Just when everything was rigid and tense to the extreme, Commissioner Willoughby chose to commit suicide because he did not want to leave his wife and children with painful memories of being sick.
He left a letter to Dixon and Mama Mi:
After the death of the director, all the flames began to gradually cool, and all emotions began to fade.
The director's leniency to Mi Ma, regardless of the previous suspicions, and the trust and affirmation of Dixon, made the two angry people begin to reflect: hatred cannot solve the problem, but calm can be, thinking can be.
Dixon has always been an inferior person, always ridiculed as a "mother-in-law" and a "waste", and he has to use violence to protect his fragile heart.
Dixon suddenly realized his duty as a police officer and realized his hidden kindness and integrity.
He decided to abandon his anger and revenge and keep the case under investigation.
In the police station where the fire spread, he was burned to the point of near disfigurement, but he rationally brought out something important--the file of the case of Mi Ma's daughter.
Dixon, who found himself, also risked his life, pretending to be provoked and beaten to the point of blurring flesh and blood, just to get the suspect's skin and flesh samples, sent to the police station to find the murderer for MiMa.
A teacher once said that "only after the self is lost is self-returning", and a process can be added in the middle, that is, reason.
Hatred will only lead people to a darker abyss, and only by maintaining reason and calm thinking will there be a correct answer.
Only love can achieve inner peace
After arguing with her ex-husband in the restaurant, Mi Mama's mood gradually lost control, and she carried the bottle of wine and walked angrily towards her ex-husband and Xin Huan.
The ex-husband's new smile said: Anger will only cause more anger.
Looking at the simple girl, Mi Ma calmed down, yes, anger can change in addition to inviting more anger?
She remembered the director's letter, looked at the little three in front of her, and Mi Mama said to her ex-husband: You are kind to her. Then gently put down the bottle.
Love brings warmth and security, and Mommy's soft heart is also awakened by the director's love.
If she learned to be tolerant, it is better to say that she has finally redeemed herself.
Time and again, her indestructible plans for revenge fade away, replaced by the softness of the depths of human nature.
At the end of the film, Avenger mother Mildred and former police officer Dixon embark on a journey to find the killer.
Mommy hesitated for a moment and asked Dixon: Are we really going to do this?
Dixon replied: Kill that person? Not so sure yet.
The two were silent for a while, and Mi Mama said: I am not sure, then, let's decide on the road.
Subtitles appear on the screen, the movie ends here, and the final truth is not known.
I only remember the last moment, they looked forward at the same time, their eyes were quiet, their faces were peaceful, and it seemed that their hearts had long since let go of their grievances and did not go to the abyss of eternal disaster.
It all starts with emotional anger, but ends with rational kindness.
In the car, there are ballads with a brisk rhythm and a beautiful melody:
If I had your love forever,
Sail into the light of day.
If, I can have your love forever
I would like to fly the ship to a place full of light
They all abandoned reason and moderation and retaliated against society with hatred, but in the end they all learned to love in love and learned to reconcile with their hearts.
Every emotional person can actually become a rational person at a critical time.
May you and I both stand in the light under the wrapping of love.
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